Fug File: Who Fugged It More

Fug/Fab Face-Off: Victoria Beckham vs. Katie Holmes


Back in the day, this might have been a cakewalk for Katie Holmes, but Posh has turned herself into a formidable opponent — and Katie, less of one.

Which look is better? NO WAFFLING.

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[Photos: AKM-GSI, Fame-Flynet]

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Who Played It Better: Holland Roden v. Kate Middleton


Sorry to be dipping back into the Emmys well, but eagle-eyed Fug National Esther pointed out that Holland Roden sported a dress at an Emmys post-party that looks rather similar to a fairly famous dress previously seen on the Duchess of Cambridge, and I thought you might enjoy a Sleepy Friday Compare and Contrast. And by “you,” I mean Kate herself, who I assume is reading this right now whilst on vacation, muttering around a mouthful of takeaway while William tries to keep George from falling into the loch.

I'm not seriously putting this up to a vote.

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[Photos: Splash, Getty]

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Fug/Fab Face-Off: Megan Fox vs. Margaret Qualley in Dolce & Gabbana


Well, this is a rare treat: a deployment of the same pattern in the same night, a country apart. The fashion gods are smiling upon us this fine summer week.

First: Andie MacDowell’s actress daughter, Margaret Qualley, who is on The Leftovers (it’s her only credit so far, really) but is making the rounds like crazy right now:

Margaret Qualley, premiere of "Magic In The Moonlight" in NYC

I want to like this – I do, conceptually — but I’m really distracted by the piece of it right under the waist seam. It’s like a four-inch chunk and then another seam, and it’s bubbling out and making very unflattering things happen. Why do designers set traps like that? Why not TREAT your customers instead of tricking them?

She did at least pair it with a funky purse; the shoe choice could have been more interesting and more seasonal, and of course the lack of bracelet will send cries of “NAB” reverberating throughout our grand Nation of Fug. But Megan Fox didn’t use a bracelet either, ALSO carries a cool purse, and chose black shoes:
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Cannes Who Fugged It More: Karlie Kloss vs. Mamie Gummer in Valentino


We saw this, and trembled at its evils, on Mamie Gummer at the Oscars. I’m actually sort of surprised that a top model like Karlie Kloss would ever wear something at an event this high-profile had been done already at another high-profile event. Maybe that’s more common than I think, but if I were her, this would feel like a fair time to throw a diva strop.

Mamie lined her skirt with black where Karlie’s is see-through, which definitely gave it a heaviness that contradicts the original design’s ethereal intentions.¬†She also had the turquiose part of the bodice expanded, versus Karlie’s more perfunctory modesty panel. Beyond that,¬†Karlie is leaning on bodice netting in a really sickly hue, and then basically a strip of lace over her nethers that looks like an eggplant loincloth. Frankly, I think it’s totally hideous on both of them. But between all that taupe boob pancake up there and the overwrought makeup, I think the supermodel might, strangely, look a little bit worse, which I hope will be worth a glass of celebratory moonshine for Mamie this morning.

You have to pick the one that's worse. No, you do. BE STRONG. PICK IT.

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[Photo: Getty]

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Met Gala Who Fugged It More: Margot Robbie vs. Stacy Martin, both in Prada


Good lord, a lot of people wore Prada to this thing. Which is crazy because, as we’ve noted, I sincerely think Miuccia doesn’t read the Met Ball invitations and instead just boxes up a bunch of random stuff and shoots it out of an international t-shirt cannon and whoever catches it wears whatever is inside. Anyway, two lovely ladies got outfits based on bra tops, so let’s declare a winner, shall we?

First up: Stacy Martin, best known for the five-and-a-half-hour Lars von Trier movie Nymphomaniac, in which she has a lot of sex with Shia LaBeouf and others.

I like the bones of this. Obviously the sheer top with the bra underneath is silly to me, but at least in this iteration, the triangular bra cups and the triangle where the two sides of the top intersect are geometrically simpatico. But I think you’d still have something delicate and pretty if it were lined, and the color is bright and beautiful. The skirt is also gorgeous. And although the lavender shoes look a little plastic from here, they’re at least not neutral, which would have been the easy choice. Full marks for creativity there.

And then here is The Wolf of Wall Street‘s Margot Robbie:

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ACMs Fug/Fab Face-Off: Sheryl Crow vs. Kimberly Perry


I’m thinking of this one as The Battle of Dresses That Look Like Photoshop Effects.

This one is Shatter, or maybe Stained Glass. It looks like some keenly chosen mouse clicks broke the black fabric into pieces. I might not mind it except that I don’t find it very flattering on her, or at least, maybe it demands a more dramatic head. A More Dramatic Head might be the name of my autobiography, too, in which case I have a lot more tizzies and hissies and enemies-into-lily-ponds that I need to throw.

Kimberly Perry also wore fancy black-on-nude, and with almost the exact same makeup:

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