VMAs Fug Carpet: Taylor Swift in Ashish


You know what? I have a high tolerance for Taylor, but I just can’t with this, to use MTV-appropriate vernacular:

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Those shoes are great, but she’s wearing sparkly houndstooth sweatpants that she kept pulling up all night (so as not to violate the Taylor Swift Anti-Bellybutton Guidelines) with a matching cropped top. There is no human alive who can really wear sparkly houndstooth sweatpants without looking slightly absurd, but definitely not when that human also makes the choice to go really matchy-matchy with that particular life choice. Okay, wait, that’s a lie. Gwen Stefani could wear this. But Taylor is no Gwen Stefani (although if she starts making her squad wear harajuku outfits, then we might need to revise that) — not even at the VMAs.

[Photpo: Getty]

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VMAs WTF: Miley Cyrus


Look, there are a lot of things I can appreciate about Miley. Her hosting performance last night was not one of them.  But you can’t deny that at least she picked “go big” in the age old dilemma of going big, or going home.  She looked like she was a living salute to Tara Reid in Josie and the Pussycats half the time.

[Photos: Getty]

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VMAs Business As Usual Carpet: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West


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“YEAH, I’M IN SWEATS; I DON’T NEED TO TRY HARD. ‘CAUSE IN CASE YOU DIDN’T KNOW, I’M THE VIDEO VANGUARD – MUSIC’S POET LAUREATE WHO COULD OUT-VERSE THE BARD. SO I DON’T NEED TO DRESS UP OR TRUSS UP OR PRIMP UP. I DON’T EVEN BOTHER TO DO MY DAMN SHOES UP; THERE’S MORE KNOTS TIED ON MY WIFE AND OUR NEW PUP. BUT MY CINQUAINS ARE LYRICAL; MY PENTAMETER’S IAMBIC; MY SKULL-BONNET’S SONNETS ARE LIKE A COPPERFIELD MAGIC TRICK. SO DON’T LIKE MY CLOTHES? YOU’RE ALLOWED TO I SUPPOSE BUT BOW TO MY RHYMES.  … AND THAT WAS A HAIKU, SO BOO HOO, I POEM’D YOU. SO I WIN EVEN WHEN MY WIFE WEARS A DRESS THE COLOR OF ASPARAGUS URINE, BUT I’M NOT GOING TO RHYME ABOUT IT EVEN THOUGH MY BRAIN IS WHIRRIN’. DAMMIT I DID IT ANYWAY. EVEN MY ACCIDENTS ARE ART.

[PHOTO: GETTY]

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Fugs and Pieces, August 28th, 2015


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Summer’s almost over here. And yet it still feels as if I am living on the surface of the sun. Sit in front of your AC and read the following:

– This is a fascinating piece about what Spotify can teach us about the relative timelessness — or otherwise — of music. Spoiler: “No Diggity” holds up. But anyone who’s heard it recently knows THAT. If you like music or data or graphs, this is totally for you. (Poly-Graph)

– I love Robin Givhan’s writing, and this piece about the three Americans who recently stopped that would-be shooter on a Paris train is some of her best. (Washington Post)

– This piece in Marie Claire about the crazy stuff stylists do in order to get the shots they need for hair product ads is an interesting, quick read.

– I enjoyed this piece in Slate about trends in book covers — and not just because The Royal We was included!

– Speaking of, we were delighted to be included in MM.LaFleur’s end of summer book picks!

– Heather wrote a piece for BabyCenter about her family’s decision to delay her twins starting kindergarten.

– If you haven’t read this week’s Afternoon Chat, about everyone’s weirdest date, YOU HAVE TO READ IT. I am not kidding. It has everything: Nazis! Vampires! ATTEMPTED MURDER.

Behold Seinfeld recut as a cheesy, serious movie. It’s gold, Jerry. Gold! Also I swear I’ve linked to this before but ENJOY IT AGAIN if that’s the case. Elaine’s credit is particularly amazing. (Vox)

– You’ll enjoy this piece in praise of Nellie Bly. (The Daily Beast)

– In your F&P Recipe for the Week, let’s just eat a whole bowl of Grilled Jalapeño Popper Dip for dinner!

–A journalist at Buzzfeed asked five different personal shoppers to find her something “flattering.” Let’s just say that results varied.

– At The Toast: Things I Believe With Perfect Trust And Perfect Faith Drake Did Over The Last Three Years To Become Worthy Of Serena Williams. To wit: “Casually looked up tennis scoring names on his phone just before starting conversation with her, clenching his fist and muttering to himself, ‘It’s love, fifteen, thirty, forty, game, you can do this, Aubrey.’”

– Speaking of, Claudia Rankine’s piece about Serena for the New York Times magazine is well worth your time.

– Oh man. Gary Marshall is making a movie called Mother’s Day. You may remember that he also made Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Eve and YOU GUYS, I CALLED THIS. I called it in 2011! WHERE IS MY CHECK??? (Lainey)

– Over at Pajiba: This Target ad for Star Wars is SERIOUSLY great.

Bring It On is fifteen years old. The choreographer, Anne Fletcher, and director Peyton Reed talk to Entertainment Weekly.

– Speaking of seminal films of that era, Susan May Pratt — the best goddamned dancer in the American Ballet Academy — chatted with Buzzfeed about her career: “It’s kind of disappointing to have one’s career peak in your mid-twenties and have it be a downhill slide since.”

– Brangelina is moving to London, presumably to be closer to their besties Wills and Kate. (Celebitchy)

– Finally, you know how they’re making a musical of The O.C? You want to hear their rendition of “California.”

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Royals Round-Up, August 28th, 2015


Boats! Hats! Bottled Water! Medals!

Elsewhere:

 

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Fug or Fab: Kate Bosworth


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And now, the palate cleanser after Rita and Miley: an actual garment.

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I don’t really like whatever that fabric is on the top, and although the skirt is cool,  it also looks like she velcro’d her clutch to her groin. Which might be a good idea for cocktail parties, come to think of it.

You should also see the back:

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