Royally Played, Kate Middleton in Jenny Packham


After months locked in the house, today brings us a Kate twofer. (In case you missed this morning’s McQueen [and/or Wills], I am here for you.) First McQueen, now Jenny Packham — it’s like she’s cycling through her own greatest hits today, to make up for her absence.

I will be interested to get everyone’s take on this dress. I really like aspects of it — the color, the fabulous draping — and I appreciate that it’s DIFFERENT.  From the waist up, I think it’s a total smash. I think the shorter underskirt was perhaps a compromise in the name of modesty that was considered a more interesting and creative choice than just making the slit less aggressive, which I appreciate, and I like that she’s going leggy.  I am not in general a fan of the high/low skirt, so ultimately this might not be my personal number one jam. This whole slideshow is basically my waffling on my feelings, so know that I could probably be talked around, if you want to try. JUST TRY.

PS: ALL HAIL THE OPEN TOED SHOE. Bonus points for fab new jewelry.

[Photos: Getty, Splash]

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Fug the Show: How To Get Away With Murder recap, season 1, episode 4


Jessica and I recently concluded that Viola Davis’s performance is accomplished, yes, but also extremely curious — because she’s so AGGRAVATED-seeming all the time, as if she read the script and went, “Ugh, Annalise clearly hates all these morons.” Between that and the way she walks like her feet hurt, Annalise comes across less like a dynamic, compelling, charismatic force of nature, and more like she’s both existentially exhausted and exhausted by everyone’s stupidity.

Moving on: As with the latest Nashville, there was a Wig Removal in this episode. I kept hoping it was going to be this guy.

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I feel like a golf video: I just want to grip it, and rip it. I could wring it out and have enough oil to cook dinner. I THINK the implication is that he ran over to his pseudo-boyfriend’s apartment — it is, as Jake Ballard would say, a booty call — but he spends a LOT of time looking like his personal odor is troublesome.

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Fugs or Fabs: Blake Lively in Gucci Cruise


At some point, I expect a statue of this exact photo to be available for purchase on Preserve.us. Whittled to lifelike perfection by an artisanal ant colony and scented lightly with vanilla.

[Photos: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet]

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Fug the Show: Reign recap, season 2, episode 3, “Coronation”


a) I HATE Mary.

b) Grain is BORING.

c) You should just assume that any time Mary or any of the Ladies appears on camera, I squawk, “WHAT IS SHE WEARING?” in an unattractive and graceless manner.

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Herein, Catherine is waxing poetic about all the shenanigans she’s got planned for Francis’s coronation and Francis and Mary both whine that the unicorns and elephants seem expensive, given that half of France is starving due to fires set to control the spread of plague (and their own combined terrible mismanagement of, like, EVERYTHING) and that it’s disgusting to be spending so much money in a time of need and Catherine is like, “you DUMBASSES. If the rest of Europe knows we’re poor and starving, they will pounce and take us over. We have to act like EVERYTHING IS FINE. PS: Nice Marchesa, Mary.”  Everyone on this show is so much dumber than Catherine. (In fairness, actual history seems to bear out that Francis, at least, WAS dumber than Catherine.)

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I’m pretty sure that, in the 16th century, proper ladies didn’t wear dresses highlighting the curvature of their bums.

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Royally Played, Wills and Kate (in McQueen) Welcome the President of Singapore


WELCOME BACK, KATE. (We may see her again later today, as well, as she’s due to go to another event this evening [Not tonight's state dinner. A whole other thing.] I think it’s possible she may not feel up to two events in one day, but I guess we’ll find out.) We’re obviously thrilled she’s back, and we’re also delighted that it appears their baby is officially making its debut in the same month that our royal baby (the new book) is making its debut. We will have so much to talk about. Babies are like books in that sometimes working on creating them makes you want to barf, and you hope everyone loves them when they finally emerge.

Back to the business at hand. Wills and Kate have met today’s visiting dignitaries (the president of Singapore, Tony Tan, and his wife) before, when they were on their Far East tour and swung through Singapore (that blast back to 2012 delights me, as it’s the post in which William appears to be living inside a potted plant.  And not for the last time). This time around, no one has been forced to take shelter in shrubbery. NOT YET. But it appears a new McQueen has been procured, to add to the List of McQueens That I Want. Come take a look.

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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Fugs and Fabs of the Elle Women in Hollywood Awards: Part Two


And now, things take a turn for the more colorful. [Photos: Getty, Splash]

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