Fug File: Awards & Galas

What the Fug: Sheers at the 2016 VMAs


The good news is, this slideshow is way shorter than it would have been in previous years. The bad news is Rita Ora.

[Photos: Getty]

react:

VMAs Fug Carpet: Kim (in vintage Galliano) and Kanye


Kanye, Kim

“IT’S LIKE THIS: KIM WAS IN HER CLOSET FOR HOURS UNTIL SHE STARTED TO GLOWER AND I WAS GROWING SOUR, AND BECAUSE I’M A SERIOUS VOW-ER AND ‘TIL DEATH DO US PART’ STILL HAS POWER, I OFFERED HER FREE WEEZY AND SHE WAS LIKE “nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo” SO THEN EVERY OUTFIT SHE DEFLOWERED MADE MY MOOD HELLA DOUR AND I WAS LIKE, “JUST PUT UP A DAMN TWITTER POLL AND TAKE A SHOWER.” I JUST DIDN’T THINK SHE’D WAIT TO DO THAT LAST THING UNTIL TWO SECONDS BEFORE WE LEFT THE HOUSE. ALSO I THINK “DRESSY SEXY” WON BUT THIS LOOKS MORE “CASUAL CHILL” TO ME SO MAYBE “DRESSY” JUST MEANT “IN THE VAGUE MANNER OF A DRESS,” BUT EVEN THAT IS JUST A GUESS. FOR SURE THIS LOOK IS SOMETHING LESS. IT’S GENITALLY BREEZY AND NIPPLE-FREEZY AND SORTA SEXY BUT ALSO SLEAZY AND HONESTLY IT LOOKS LIKE DISCOUNT YEEZY SO TELL ME PLEAZY WHY SHE’LL PICK IT WHEN IT’S BY GALLIANO BUT NOT WHEN IT’S MEEZY.  IT’S A SEE-THROUGH RUCHED HOT MESS THAT I HAVE TO PRETEND TO BLESS WHEN I REALLY WANT TO CONFESS THAT IT DOES NOT IMPRESS, UNLIKE CAGNEY & LACEY STARRING SHARON GLESS. YES THAT’S RIGHT I KNOW MY ‘COP SHOW ROLE MODELS. DALY, GLESS, FRANZ, WEST. RECOGNIZE.”

[Photo: Getty]

react:

VMAs Well Played: Britney Spears in Julien Macdonald


“HEY Y’ALL,

Admit it. This dress is surprisingly sophisticated coming from me — especially if you consider MY RED CARPET PAST [seriously what was I even thinking half the time yes I'm talking about Kevin. Did you forget he was alive? SO DID I!] — even if it does kinda look like I got mauled by a bear leaving a Victoria Beckham sample sale:

2016 MTV Video Music Awards - Arrivals

I’m so tan! My extensions look great! I have at least one sleeve! I bought these shoes because I read on in a plane magazine that every business woman needs a practical pair of black pumps and I DO feel practical and business-y in them! ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS.

Okay, I have to go now. Kim Kardashian cornered me in the bathroom and explained that I’m supposed to go writhe around while some dude you never heard of sings LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT HIM and I look great in a catsuit and yellow boots and everyone on Twitter wonders what happened to my snake. He lives in my hot tub.

BYE,

LOVE,

BRITNEY”

[Photo: Getty]

react:

VMAs Well Played: Hailee Steinfeld in Balmain


I genuinely was worried Hailee had forgotten how to do this.

Hailee Steinfeld

Yes, okay, it’s also got an aura of Ugly Grandma Sweater, but you know what? I love grandmothers. And I love sweaters. And now that I’m basically emotionally a grandmother myself, I kind of miss all the ugly knitwear I used to get on my birthday, and wear for as little time as possible before burying it in my closet. So this both tickles my nostalgia AND still looks fabulous on her. Welcome back, Steinfeld. If you’d like to continue bringing it, I will accept delivery.

[Photo: Getty]

react:

VMAs Fug or Fab: Beyonce in Francesco Scognamiglio


On one hand, at least Beyonce is trying something somewhat new and different. On the other, I’m not sure if Styled Vaguely By Gaga needs to be a thing. On the third hand, which I need to have checked out by a doctor, is it weird that my biggest note about this is that I wish it were better lined so that I could spend more time thinking about her Marabou Feather Neckbrace, rather than weighing if this is ultimately too distractingly sheer and doing Weird Things to her crotch? On my left foot, Marabou Feather Neckbrace is my favorite Bowie cover band, so this obvious sartorial salute puts me in a more forgiving mood than I should be.

[Photos: Getty]

react:

Fugs and Fabs: Everyone Else at the BET Awards


In which sartorial efforts range from FABULOUS to NOOOOOOOOOOOO to NSFW.

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

react:

Well Played, Yara Shahidi in Tracy Reese at the BET Awards


Yara Shahidi is sixteen years old, and she’s on black-ish (a show which boasts some of the cutest kids in TV), and when I read that this dress is Tracy Reese, I wrote this whole mini-fanfic in my head about how Tracee Ellis Ross (who is Yara’s TV mom) helped her pick it out, because we often see TER at the Tracy Reese show when we go to Fashion Week, and it’s always very exciting for me to get to admire her general awesomeness in person. (That show is also where I talked to both Sasheer Zamata and Jessica Lowndes about red lipstick — they were both delightful — so it’s clearly a place where good things happen.) I feel like this scenario is TOTALLY possible, frankly.

2016 BET Awards - Arrivals

Whoever gave the final thumbs up to this dress, though, should pat themselves on the back and give themselves another scoop of ice cream (I was going to say, another glass of wine, until I realized it might have been Yara herself). It is so charming — cheery and fun, but still sophisticated and surprisingly unfussy. I kind of want to see it at the afterparty, with a demin jacket, because you know that would be cute, too. Full marks all around. Don’t act surprised: You know I can never resist a stripe.

[Photo: Getty Images]

react: