Fug File: Awards & Galas

A Quantum of Fuglace: Gemma Arterton in Prada at the Olivier Awards


Like a lot of Prada lately, I find the fit and cut uninspiring.

That seafoam color is nice on her, but this is doing to her chest what Michelle Dockery’s Prada did at the Emmys last year, and although that was unpopular of me, I could not get over it, and I can’t here, either. It’s like an ode to underwire, and it’s tracing a really shallow W on her chest. A W for “Wuh?” and “Why?” and “Waaah.”

But let’s look at the hair:

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Well Played: Myleene Klass in Dennis Basso at the Olivier Awards


I’ve always liked Myleene Klass. We did something with her years ago and she was incredibly cool, so I was always sad that her hosting opportunity in the U.S. — I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here! — was on such a turd of a show.

Yeah, I’d say she rebounded from that just fine.

[Photo: WENN]

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MTV Movie Awards Fugs and Fabs: Everyone Else


Let’s just close this thing down.

[Photos: Getty]

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MTV Movie Awards Fugs and Fabs: The Dudes


Nothing makes you feel more out of touch than realizing that there are all these young dude actors running around totally unbeknownst to you. Either that, or MTV has taken to inviting total randoms to these things, but I suspect that way back in 1992, my mother had no idea who Luke Perry was, beyond my endless yapping about him, meaning that I have finally crossed over to the other side where I am totally out of touch with The Youngs, because I can only really easily ID like half of these guys. I’m actually okay with that. You have at it, Youngs! Enjoy yourselves! Just come visit me in the home every now and then. I’ll make you a cocktail.

Don’t worry. I’m starting with the people we know, and then devolving into a whole bunch of ????????

[Photos: Getty]

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MTV Movie Awards Fug or Fab: Chrissy Teigen in Ulyana Sergeenko


This outfit is weirding me out a little.

Not because it’s so bad, necessarily, although it would perhaps be more at home at someone’s sorority sister’s wedding (you know, you’re fresh out of college, and you think you can pick a bridesmaid dress that everyone will want to wear again, and you will be wrong); no, it’s more because she almost looks like she could be the fifteen-year old star of a Nickelodeon sitcom called, like, #Chrissy or something. A baby-pink poofy satin tweehouse isn’t exactly what I was expecting, and I think maybe she should’ve handed it down to an actual 15-year old for Prom and poured herself a cocktail and done some more shopping.

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[Photo: Getty]

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MTV Movie Awards Fug: Johnny Depp


I just feel like… can MTV stop acting like Johnny Depp is still some kind of foxy man-surprise?

For one thing, he shows up to EVERYTHING — I need both hands to count the number of times he’s been trotted out and these pseudo-hip things, and everyone nearly passes out — and for another, he might be wearing a hoodie, and the only vibe I ever get off him anymore is that he’s the star of Indiana Jones and the Trip To Old Navy.

[Photo: Getty]

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