Fug File: Awards & Galas

Teen Choice Awards Fugs and Fabs: Everyone Else


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Ah, The Teen Choice Awards. AKA, The Award Show Where Even Young People Feel Like They Are Out of Touch With The Teens, And Olds Like Myself Just Take Their Geritol And Shuffle Off to the Early Bird to Forget. Let’s finish this thing. FYI, “happy hour” is the new “early bird special.” Tell your Grams.

[Photos: Getty]

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Teen Choice Awards: The Pretty Little Liars


First of all, Getty Images told me that Burgundy Suit over there is Ian Harding (Ezra), but that’s  Tyler Blackburn…isn’t it? IS IT? Is this a new “Who Is A?” like mystery? You’re welcome, Pretty Little Liars, I just answered the question, “what are we doing next season?”. You’re figuring out which short-haired brunet dude is who:

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No, wait, never mind. You’re going to have to break that story yourself. I was right. THANK GOD. I was fairly confident about this because (a) I actually really love Tyler Blackburn and quit Pretty Little Liars when they wrote him off, and then forgot to come back with him, and because (b) I see this photo every time Heather texts me:

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That is Ian Harding, on the pre-show prior to this past week’s season finale, shoving a cupcake into his mouth before they went to commercial, and it is divine. Speaking of divine,  let’s discuss the assorted Liars, all of whom look pretty good to my mind, even if Ashley Benson (who, for what it’s worth, I love) insists on wearing what looks like the strapless version of this dress that recently made me cry. Vanessa Ray, kicking things off in the black dress, looks flirty and cute; Lucy Hale looks flat-out great in that blue; Janel Parrish looks vaguely like her dress might be choking her which is at least thematically appropriate given the character she plays; Shay Mitchell is a tall, gorgeous drink of water, and then Ash Benzo is trying to slowly kill me, and Tyler Blackburn is snazzily representing for all the dudes. So they’re four for six, which would be a great night if they all coalesced into the body of a baseball player somehow. And somewhere, everyone else shoves another cupcake in.

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Teen Choice Awards Fug or Fab: Rita Ora in Max Mara


I weirdly kind of like this.

Teen Choice Awards 2015 - Arrivals

I think it’s because I’ve just created an alter-ego for Rita Ora in my imagination, where she is a bad-ass business lady who marches into the office and gives everyone totally brilliant orders, right off the cuff, and doesn’t take anyone’s shit, and the Xerox always works for all, and her underlings say things to each other like, “I love her and I think she’s so smart but is it sort of weird how she’s really REALLY into being so coordinated all the time? Oh, shit, here she comes. Hand me the TPS reports!”

But if her suit is Brightly Coordinated Business, her shoes at least are ready for a party:

Teen Choice Awards 2015 - Arrivals

I am on record as being sort of Platformed-Out, but….these might be an exception.  I am a magpie. THERE IS GOLD INVOLVED.

[Photo: Getty]

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Teen Choice Awards Letter of Teen Choice Truth


Hey y’all!

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The good news is, I just got an email from Mattel and they’re going to use these pictures to design their new Britney Barbie and it’s AWESOME because now I don’t have to put my shoes on and go into their offices.

Hope your summer is going great. Stay sweet!

Love, BRITNEY

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Teen Choice Awards Well Played: Nina Dobrev in Zuhair Murad


In the Mae Whitman post earlier this morning, I mentioned the Teen Choice Awards Traditional Sparkly Dress, because I thought her look was such a smart interpretation of what actresses so often wear to this particular event. If Mae’s look was Sparkly Dress Rebooted, then Nina is wearing a Sparkly Dress Classic:

Teen Choice Awards 2015 - Arrivals

Much as I enjoy both ice cream and froyo, I like them both. I’d argue, actually, that this dress is basically the Platonic ideal of what you wear to Teen Choice Awards when you are a 26 year old woman who was once, but is no longer, the star of a vampire soap on The CW, but who still has to attend an event celebrating it. (She and  Somerhalder won Choice TV Liplock, and she won her individual award as well, for Choice Teen Actress Show About Vampires [paraphrased].) Might as well go out with a bang, right? Now, let’s get her a great new gig; I don’t like a TV landscape without Nina Dobrev elegantly crying somewhere on it.

[Photo: Getty]

 

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Teen Choice Awards Fug or Fab: Zendaya in Ashi Studio


Good news! What I thought was a rather sad little top knot lurking atop Zendaya’s lovely head is actually the starting line of a long braid:

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Which was a very wise move considering how hot it was yesterday. Everyone who had her hair down on the red carpet must have been sincerely jealous of how cool this looks, although it’s a little too long for my own personal Long Braid Tastes. But were they jealous of everything happening from the neck down? I ask you.

Teen Choice Awards 2015 - Arrivals

This is an amazing tube top (it’s hard to tell in this photo, but I promise these are separates). I am not sure if it’s an amazing tube top that I LIKE, but I can totally acknowledge that it’s mesmerizing and possibly impossible to resist. I just think they are some looks that are presented to a celebrity and they inspire the reaction, “This is crazy and I don’t even like it, but OMG, I want to wear it anyway.”  Like a charismatic but terrible boyfriend. You suspect it’s a bad idea, but you’re going to do it anyway and see if you can get away with it.

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