Fug File: Awards & Galas

Fugs and Fabs: Miranda Lambert at the American Country Countdown Awards


Ms Lambert hit the spray tan HARD this week, you guys.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fugs and Fabs: The Gotham Film Awards


All hail SWINTON. (And you should probably read this GQ profile of her, anointing her their Woman of the Year. First off, it’s extremely SWINTON-y and wonderful, and second, the fact that GQ has named TS and not, say, Kate Upton as their Woman of the Year pleases me. [No offense to Kate Upton.]) Beyond SWINTON, I’ve also got some Hamm for you here, so Gyllenhaal, some Tomei, a bit of Moore…a VARIETY of celebs. Join me in judgement.

[Photos: Splash]

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British Fashion Awards Fugs: Rita Ora and Cara Delevingne in Tom Ford


Tom Ford always looks so pleased with himself.

Rita Ora at the British Fashion Awards

Which… I mean, if his goal was to make Rita Ora look like a dominatrix who’s falling off the hanger of the closet from which he yanked her, then yeah, great, be proud. Dubious mission accomplished.

He also clothed Cara Delevingne for the after-party — “clothed” being a term I’m using loosely.

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British Fashion Awards Fug Carpet: Rihanna


Well, I accidentally first typed “Fug Crapet,” and that’s fairly apt as typos go.

Rihanna British Fashion Awards

Because this isn’t an actual real outfit, right? This is an exotic dancer whose boyfriend walked in during her performance and angrily grabbed a jacket from a nearby limo driver, and carried her outside and is now begging her to explain why she told him she was a law student (the answer: She knew he wouldn’t understand; she came from NOTHING, and she has to pay her tuition, and she suspected he wouldn’t be able to see the brain behind her pasties AND SHE WAS RIGHT). So, it’s basically Dancing at the Blue Iguana, but with Showgirl-style histrionics, on a Lifetime budget. Sponsored by L’Eggs. In short, it’s a grab-bag of things that shouldn’t go together, so we’ll all just look at her face and blot out the rest.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fugs and Fabs: The ARIA Awards


Dear Australian Readers,

I am depending on you to fill us in on any juicy bits of gossip or info that I may have missed about some of the half-clad, lace-covered celebs at this thing. Wikipedia can take a blogger only so far! I treasure your insider intel.

Love,

Jessica

[Photos: Getty]

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ARIA Awards Fug Carpet: Katy Perry


I always sort of wish the ARIA Awards were awards given by Aria of Pretty Little Liars, and they involved categories like, “Most Likely to Be Cracked Over the Head With Something,” and “Most Likely to Wear Crazy Pants With Two Wholly Different Legs.” Katy Perry would perhaps wear what she’s wearing here to collect the latter, although she’d have tough competition from Miley, and Jennifer Lawrence.

[Photos: Getty]

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