Fug File: Billboard Music Awards
It’s not great news for the designer that I was going to guess it was Versace.
And it’s even worse news for Nicki that she’s essentially wearing a very expensive ladyjuicer.
Oh, my God. No, Natasha. You know what is not still unwritten? MY HORROR.
This is the kind of thing you wear when you call the paparazzi and tell them you’re going to the doctor/Bristol Farms market/the gym, so they will run a photo of your hot abs but you can still claim it was just your lounging clothes. Bonus points if you’re doing it after a breakup, so you can fill your shopping cart with high-calorie feelings and yet still remind everyone your stomach is taut even in grief. It’s a janky hellpile even so, but as something you have actually picked out and lovingly fluffed and prepared for your big night out on a red carpet, it is A CHARRED HEAP OF CRAZY ON A KEBAB. Because those are SWEATPANTS. And that is a bra. And the rest is just crocheted skin. I’m sorry, guys, but Granny has to come out to play: WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY. WEAR YOUR SWEATPANTS TO YOGA AND WEAR YOUR ABS IN YOUR HOUSE.