Fug File: Billboard Music Awards

Billboard Music Awards: Extra Fugs and Fabs

Well. Cristina Yang would NEVER have let this happen.

[Photos: Getty]


Billboard Music Awards Feh Carpet: Mariah Carey

The Billboards were in Las Vegas, so naturally, they had Mariah on, advertising her new Vegas residency and whatever terrible song she’s possibly promoting (Latter-Day Mariah just is not my jam).

mariah carey billboard music awards

All the standard ingredients are here — some sheer, some short, some long, some cleav — and she’s got accessories and earrings and a big ol’ gleaming smile. It’s fine. I think my problem with it is: This was presumably supposed to rechristen her the diva she imagines herself to be, but instead it feels a half step — or even a whole one — away from something that’s actually fresh and contemporary. It’s hitting its marks in a perfunctory way only, and has a stale aura to it that poor Mariah surely does not want.

But, it could have gone worse. And inside, to me, it did:

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Billboard Music Awards Fug or Fab: Zendaya in Fausto Puglisi

This is the same designer as Rita Ora’s outfit — and employing the same sun motif.

zendaya billboard music awards

It is also INSANE and looks like a relic of the Mirage’s Siegfried & Roy days that somebody found after it had incubated a rare form of coral mildew. To me, it is empirically a high-volume mess, like if Chico’s decided to start a junior line that competes with Wet Seal. I am not even sure her Power of Cool can save it, the way it has so many other things, but I’ll put it up to a vote anyway because she picked bright shoes and then tied them in with her earrings. She used her accessory wall thoughtfully. And that kind of effort is SO BEYOND so many people on the red carpet that it’s worth a lot of extra credit.

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[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


Billboard Music Awards Adequately (and then Poorly) Played: Charli XCX

Considering she once wore a bunny graveyard as a dress, I should be counting my blessings.

charli xcx billboard music awards

And… it is totally fine. It’s not captivating. It’s not interesting. It feels like something you’d buy at the mall, in a store that sells formalwear by labels you’ve never heard of, in fabric more synthetic than Easy Cheese. But her lipstick is good and I can’t see anything that should be between her and her personal physician, so while I can certainly yawn, I can’t complain.

She changed during the telecast:

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Billboard Music Awards Fug Carpet: Iggy Azalea and Britney Spears

Jessica celebrated her birthday yesterday, so she gets today off, which means Britney won’t be speaking via Letter of Truth today (I wouldn’t dream of it). We’re thus only able to imagine how hard it must be for her to process what an Iggy Azalea even is.


I mean, these two don’t even look like they would know what to SAY to one another – and this is AFTER they recorded a song and shot a whole video together. I feel like Britney got to that set and wanted to talk about Sean P and Iggy thought that was a rapper and then Britney was like, “Remember NSYNC?” and then Iggy was like, “I DO NOT LIP SYNC STOP IT STOP IT NOW,” and then they gave up talking except when they had to check each other’s teeth before the camera rolled.

Let’s break them apart for a look at the outfits. Iggy’s goes someplace unfortunate:

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Billboard Music Awards Fug Carpet: Hailee Steinfeld in Givenchy

Congratulations, Hailee Steinfeld. Your movie Pitch Perfect 2 won the box office this weekend. What are you going to do?

hailee steinfeld billboard music awards

… oh. You’re going to the town’s annual square dance at Big Mike’s Boozenasium, where you’ll filch a bottle of home-brewed bathtub moonshine from Old Lady Terducken’s handbag and then get in the back of some boy’s pickup truck with two bales of hay, a blanket, and a condom that’s three years old. Me, I’d have stuck with Disneyland.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]



Billboard Music Awards Fug Carpet: Taraji P. Henson in Alexandre Vaulthier

I bring woeful tidings, Fug Nation.

taraji p henson billboard music awards

Miley wore this first. I repeat: Not only is the fabulous Taraji P. Henson wearing body windows, but she is in a Cyrus’s sloppy seconds. COOKIE. YOU’RE GOING THE WRONG WAY. To quote my GPS, which says this to me often, “In 0.2 miles make a U-Turn.”

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]