Fug File: WTF

NoFUGrious: Tori Spelling

Psst. Tori.

tori spelling

You accidentally put on his sweater.

[Photo: Getty]



Scrolldown Fug: Gwen Stefani

I saw this photo of Gwen leaving Church, shouldering what I assume is one of her kids’ Sunday School backpacks, and thought, “Okay, I could be on board, especially because she somehow matched her lens tint to her kid’s school supplies.”

Gwen Stefani is Spotted Without Her Wedding Ring At Church

But this is Gwen Stefani we’re talking about here, so we cannot assume a cheerful patterned shirt that might end up on the walls of someone’s downstairs quarter-bath is JUST a cheerful patterned shirt. We cannot judge the book by its cover. Because when that happens…

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Well Fugged: Sharon Stone in Traver Rains

Some people might look upon Sharon Stone in wings, posing in front of a tree Beelzebub (Treezlebub?) hiding on a branch, and think, “Well, THIS is a piano picture. FOR ME.” Sharon Stone, however, is probably thinking, “Don’t tell, but these are usually just my Tuesday wings, and that’s not even the best Treezlebub I’ve seen this WEEK.”

[Photos: Getty]


Fug is the New Fug: Taylor Schilling

I wonder if whoever T.Schill’s stylist is will look at this picture and bang his/her head on the table and groan, “I TOLD YOU NEVER TO GO ROGUE. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME.”

taylor schilling W Hotels

If you are THAT sprung on a see-through blouse with visible bedtime bra, it should at least pair seamlessly with the bottoms. But these two do not appear to like each other at ALL. We have competing smaller gold flecks in the shorts, which undercut the shirt. They probably ARE both black, but next to each other the top makes the lower part look navy. Worse, the shirt is all bunchy and coming untucked, which THEN just makes me stare all over again at how awkwardly and imprecisely these two pieces sit together. The overall effect is as if Piper Chapman just got out of prison with a fancy new credit card and had a small stroke inside Nordstrom.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


WTF: Laura Michelle Kelly

Laura here came to theatrical renown as Mary Poppins, and is in the recent Finding Neverland Broadway show, which also starred (stars?) Matthew Morrison and Kelsey Grammar.

laura michelle kelly

So she’s better than this, is what I’m saying. It’s possible that this is merely the ILLUSION of staring at her bits-and-bobs, and we’re just seeing a very reflective nude slip under her  perfunctory lace sheath. But I just feel like this is the kind of thing best worn when you’re trying to convince the hot Terminix guy that you TOTALLY forgot he was coming and just rolled out of bed and of COURSE he can rustle around in the bushes with his nozzle.

Just as a comparison, let’s see how veteran awesome-monger Patricia Clarkson fared at the same event:

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WTF: Kourtney Kardashian

The Kards are playing on St. Barth right now, cavorting in a series of knee-high gladiator sandals that must have been a batch freebie.  And while they all look varying shades of silly, I’m giving this one to Kourtney, who seems significantly more dangerous now that she is single:

kourtney kardashian

To borrow from Wordsworth:

She wandered lonely as a cloud
of remnant tutu and tragic string,
when all at once she saw a crowd,
a host of photogs, and fame they bring.
“Check out my ghoulish lingerie;
I too can break the ‘Net someday.”

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]