Elle is in Joachim Trier’s Affeksjonsverdi, a family drama about a French girl who turns down a role in her father’s comeback movie, only to have to deal with the American actress who’s given the part instead. Apparently it got a 19-minute standing ovation — if Cannes is banning nudity and large trains, can it please also ban performative applause? — and has garnered nice reviews, although they’re tough to read. Lately, especially with Cannes, it feels like Variety and The Hollywood Reporter are incapable of writing a movie review without laying out the entire plot. The NINETEETH PARAGRAPH of this one (out of 27!!!!) begins with, “Around this time…” No! Reviews are not plot summaries! Why are you telling EVERYTHING that happens? Even if it’s not everything, it sure feels like it. I have fallen prey to long-windedness in my time, but whew, folks.
