Fug File: royalty

Royals Round-Up, July 25th, 2014

Of course, the big royals news of the week was Prince George’s birthday, and also of course, we covered the cake out of it:

Other things are afoot, though, and the slideshow is full of them. Letizia and Felipe went to Paris (where she looked fabulous)! Crown Princess Mary looked insanely glam in a caftan and sunglasses! Queen Mathilde of Belgium took on the Giant Hat Duties! The British royals have been cheering enthusiastically at the Commonwealth Games (QE2 appears to be having the best time; Wills and Kate and Harry are going next week, so I assume we’ll see the return of Joyful Victorious Hugs)! LIPSTICK IS APPLIED.


[Photos: Getty, Jesal/Tanna, Splash News]


Royally Well-Played: Prince George, THE YEAR ONE

It is his birthday. I can only assume you’ve seen the new photos they’ve released in celebration; here’s the solo shot, and here are the snaps with Kate and William and Butterflies Precariously Clinging to Life In The Face of a Marauding Toddler. With all that new jazz out of the way, let’s take an exhaustive look back at the 3rd in line. NOW, PLEASE. THANK YOU. WHY ISN’T THERE CAKE?

(PS: If you ever find yourself wishing you could look at imperious babies demanding things politely, all of our Prince George coverage lives here.)

[Photos: Getty, Splash, Pacific Coast News]


Royally Played: Prince George’s First Birthday Official Pics, Part Two

I assume you have already checked out George’s first official pic — if not GO THERE NOW PLEASE — but here are the other two Official Happy First Birthday snaps, in which, among other things, my blistering curiosity about Kate’s green Suzannah dress is finally given¬†some minor satisfaction:

Prince-George-First-Birthday-Will-Kate (1)

First: This is all extremely charming and gives me feelings in my heart. Second: Kate is revealing that dress in frustratingly tiny pieces, like a burlesque dancer slowly peeling away the boring bits to get to the exciting part. Kate, stop hiding behind babies and plants like an actress concealing her pregnancy on a 90s sitcom, because you’re making it so hard for us to ogle your outfit! I mean, I guess the outfit is not the point of this particular exercise. But still. As for William: you can tell in Photo Two below that he wore His Hideous Dad Pants to this shoot, so THANK YOU for hiding those, Wills, you truly are a treasure. (I like to think that Kate was like, “ooh, darling, why don’t you stand behind that plant right there? FABULOUS. No, no, don’t move. I will bring the baby to you. I SAID DON’T MOVE.”)

As for baby, well, come on. Who can resist Prince Squashyface McNoodleThighs? He’s at a Butterfly Spectacle! He is a Butterfly Spectacle. Here’s the second shot, which thankfully does at least give me some Forearm (you know my feelings on forearms and babies in the same visual field):

Prince-George-First-Birthday-Will-Kate (2)

After this, I can only assume the butterfly was eaten. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND THANK YOU.

[Photos: John Stillwell/PA Wire/Getty Images]


Royally Well-Played: Prince George’s Official First Birthday Photo

AND VOILA! I am interrupting your Saturday to bring you the first of three new snaps of Prince George, released by the Palace for his birthday, in case you needed some FOCUSED ROYAL BABY in your life:

Prince-George-First-Birthday (1)

“Get out of my way, please. I have to go over there now. No, right now. NO, SINCERELY, RIGHT THIS MOMENT OUT OF MY WAY I’M NOT KIDDING WHATSOEVER THANK YOU.”

The other two photos come out on Monday afternoon for us Los Angelenos, in advance of his birthday on Tuesday, and one of those promises to hold The Secret to the Mysteries of Kate’s Green Patterned Dress That She Always Wears Under a Coat, which will finally silence me on that front, so give praise. (I fear they also might bring with them a repeat of William’s Over-Large Dad Pants, but it will be fun to get to wail to the heavens about why Wills Can’t Have Nice Casual Things again, so that’s actually kind of a birthday present TO US.) It was nice of them to give the kid a solo for the first release, and only right, as I suppose it is his birthday. (People has the story behind the snap, including an interview with the photographer. It sounds like George barreled him over. NOT SURPRISING, THANK YOU.)

[Photo: JOHN STILLWELL/AFP/Getty Images]


Royals Round-Up: July 18, 2014

This is an EXTRA FAT Royals Round-Up, and it does have everything: Harry in polo pants! William pointing at airplanes and attempting tennis and planting things with children! Princess Estella of Sweden being extremely cute! Morocco! Trophies! Cheese! Sunglasses! Belgian children being totally disinterested in their family vacation!

While Kate And Others were Mostly Inside this week, I do bring glad tidings:¬† The I Wanna “Marry “Harry” recaps ARE BACK!


[Photos: Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash]


Royals Round-Up, July 11, 2014

In which William puts on a wetsuit for us, and Crown Princess Mary works her jeans and sneaks.

BUT FIRST! This week here at GFY, ICYMI, a lot went down:

Elsewhere, you may enjoy: