Fug File: royalty

Well Played Waxwork, Prince Harry


For all the complaints we had about the new Wills and Kate Waxwork — spoiler: IT’S HIDEOUS — the one they’ve done for Harry’s 30th birthday (on Monday, so collect your goats and get ready to party) is QUITE GOOD.

Madame Tussauds London has revealed a new wax figure of His Royal Highness Prince Henry of Wales

Of course, the original Wills and Kate one was excellent, too, so I can only imagine that five years from now they’ll celebrate his 35th birthday by taking this smiley wax face and putting it in a vise until he starts looking like Ron Weasley had a baby with a hedgehog.  Get over to Madame Tussauds and take your saucy photos pretending to be making out with him, goosing him, humping his leg, holding a stuffed goat up to his face, brandishing a sign that reads TEAM EDWINA, or whatever else you want to do to Harry while you still can.

[Photo: Splash]

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Royally Well Played: Wills and Kate


We’re having another Royal Baby! Per the official announcement, “Their Royal Highnesses The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are very pleased to announce that The Duchess of Cambridge is expecting their second child. The Queen and members of both families are delighted with the news.”  I imagine they all look like this right now:

Olympics Day 6 - Cycling - Track

Lanyards and all. Wills AND Kate were expected at an event at Oxford today, but the statement also notes that Kate’s got Hyperemesis Gravidarum again (she’s not in the hospital this time; they’re treating her at Kensington Palace), so it’s just going to be him. One of you pop out to that event and high five him for Fug Nation, okay?

ALSO, if you’re bored, you can always revisit our look back at all her maternity wear from her first pregnancy. We’re going to get SO MANY COATS this time.

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Royals Round-Up, September 5th, 2014


I am very excited to inform you that summer is nearly over, and many people (MAXIMA!) are back to work, although things won’t REALLY get going until next week (which will include, among other things, the reappearance of Harry and Kate and Wills). AND YET: This slideshow brings you HATS and CHILDREN and HIDEOUS WAISTCOATS and HATS AGAIN.

ALSO: The Finale of I Wanna Marry Harry awaits thee!

Elsewhere:

 

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Royals Round-Up, August 29th 2014


HARRY (allegedly) HAS A NEW GIRLFRIEND. I think she looks very much like Kate.  (There’s a rumor that Chelsy Davy is engaged, so it’s possible poor Harry is merely burying his long-simmering romantic devastation in a new lady [there are long-standing theories that Chelsy is The One Who Got Away], but this one does seem suitably sporty + charity minded, although her name is Camilla, so we’re going to have to come up with a nickname to differentiate between her and Camilla The First, if she proves to have staying power. But my snap judgement based on basically nothing is that I’ve decided I like this one. Kate, come on. Email me the scoop. Surely you’re reading this on your phone, in Scotland.)

Anyway, we’re light on pictures of the Brits this week — Kate and Wills have stuff planned for September, kicking off with an event in Oxford next week-ish, so we will not be bereft that long — and nada from Spain or Monaco or the Netherlands, but Denmark and Sweden are holding up the side.

ELSEWHERE, for your reading pleasure:

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Royals Round-Up, August 22, 2014


Have you been wondering what the royals of the world are up to? Let me tell you: NOTHING. Well, that’s not totally accurate. They’re all on vacation and none of them are leaving the house, so we are free to IMAGINE what they are doing, and obviously I have done so. In my mind, Wills and Kate have taken George to Balmoral (this part is actually true, I believe) where he has destroyed nearly every one of the Queen’s priceless Faberge eggs in his unsteady reign of toddler terror, and where Kate is despairing of ever getting to catch up on her backlog of Tatler. Charles and Camilla are knee-deep in a lengthy, summer-long gin rummy tournament, the loser of which is forced to refer to the winner as My Supreme Kissyface, in public, for the rest of the year. Anne has the groundskeeper tied up in a shed and is “questioning” him vigorously. Harry stayed home and is currently trying to figure out how to get a really shocking amount of Pimm’s out of his grandmother’s rug. In Spain, Letizia and Felipe are currently arm-wrestling (the winner gets Majorca), and over in Monaco, Sven is trying to figure out how to smuggle Charlene out of the country before the baby comes, while Charlene is researching poisons…just in case. Maxima is learning how to construct her own crazy hats, and Crown Princess Mary…hey, I have pictures of Crown Princess Mary! We KNOW what CPM was up to. THANK YOU, CROWN PRINCESS MARY. Because it’s so boring this week, I’ve thrown together The Greatest Hits Of Royals Outings This Summer. Hats! Abs! David Beckham! Wills in a scuba suit! Goats! Children! Ceremony! EDWINA! (Don’t ask me what I’m going to do next week. I’ll worry about that next week.)

NOTE: Some of these photos might pop up weirdly sized for you — that’s because of our new slideshow functionality. It will be fixed!

Elsewhere:

[Phot0s: Getty, AKM/GSI, Splash, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News]

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Royals Round-Up, August 15th, 2014


EVERYONE is on vacation. Even the Queen. This week’s royals round-up DOES bring you some snaps from Crown Princess Mary and family’s official visit to Greenland, however, and that means one thing: fur pants on children. To make up for the paucity of royals sightings this week, I threw in some additional Harry shots from his outing this week where he was cavorting about in a slim-fitting polo and nuzzling a dog.

Also! It’s Princess Anne’s birthday. I hope she catches a MURDERER today in her own honor. Here are her archives as a celebration.

Elsewhere, I can bring you further delights:

 

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