Fug File: royalty

Well Played, The Wedding of Prince Amedeo Of Belgium And Elisabetta Maria Rosboch Von Wolkenstein

Well, the bride looks quite beautiful in Valentino.  Disappointingly, Wikipedia told tale of NO SCANDALS about either of then, which I suppose is good for them as humans, but sad for those of us who like gossip, although I managed to dig some up about his grandparents. Her parents are aristocratic film producers, and she worked for Bloomberg News. His parents are Princess Astrid of Belgium — the sister of the King of Belgium — and Prince Lorenz, who is a vampire (I just made that up for local flavor. As far as I know, he is not undead.) Amedeo WAS in the 2013 Hot Royals Calender which I may own, and she does have quite a long name, so that’s just going to have to hold us. Let’s ogle the gown.

[Photo: Getty]


Royally Played: Wills and Kate and Harry at the Tour de France Grand Depart

SOMEONE needs to get William and Harry in some proper casual trousers. WHY are Harry’s jeans so ENORMOUS? They were totally normal in Chile less than a week ago. BOTH of them need a pantstervention and I volunteer as tribute. As far as Kate goes, this is the green Erdem coat we saw in New Zealand over That Mythical Susannah Print Dress we still haven’t seen yet as a whole. It’s very SELFISH of her to keep covering it up.

[Photos: Getty, PacCoastNews, AKM/GSI]


Royals Round-Up, July 3rd, 2014

Royals Round-Up is coming at you a day early this week, because we’re taking tomorrow off for the 4th of July. Pop back over the weekend, though, as I think Kate and William and Harry have some Tour de France shenanigans on the docket, and they went out yesterday with GEORGE and I’m just waiting for THOSE pictures to hit the wires, although I suspect we might not see them for a while. (And I know Prince WhatHisName of Somewhere — Prince Amedeo of Belgium — is allegedly getting married this weekend but rumor has it it’s not going to be widely covered by the media; I will not deny you Wikipedia Scandals of Lesser Rando Royals if I can help it, but it all remains to be seen). Regardless, today’s slideshow has SO MUCH CROWN PRINCESS MARY, so brace yourself for excitement, CPM lovers. It also has HIDEOUS PORTRAITS and the Pope. Something for everyone!

Here at GFY this week:




Fug the Waxwork: Wills and Kate, Part 2

Remember how Madame Tussauds had a really good William and Kate Waxwork? Well, apparently someone took a spin through the museum and decided, “that looks too realistic. Let’s redo it and totally screw it up.” AND ERGO BEHOLD:

The William was, as Heather said previously, “mildly wonkus” and he’s still mildly wonkus but in a different direction. Now he kind of looks like if a waxwork of Prince William were possessed by the spirit of Paul Walker (forever in our hearts). I guess he’s the same percentage of wonkus, but now they just made him look more like a bro. But they took a Kate that totally looked like Kate and unKated her. It’s like one of the bigwigs got drunk at a holiday party and was like, “youknowwhat? THIS IS TOO GOOD. Can we make this LESS SUCCESSFUL? THANKS.” First of all: Kate would never carry a clutch that large to a formal event, like, DUH, take a twirl through my archives, Madame Tussauds. But more importantly: her face now looks like a vaguely cute girl who once played a tertiary role on a now-canceled Disney Channel show. Like if Lifetime decided to remake their Wills and Kate movie but Camilla Luddington was like, “once was enough,” and this kid whizzed past the execs on a scooter as they stepped out of their meeting and they were like, “HEY COME BACK, yeah, close enough.”

In short: updated waxworks a downgrade. ZERO STARS.

[Photo: Getty]


Well Replayed: Kate and Wills at Wimbledon

In which Kate rewears my favorite of her day dresses — the White Eyelet Zimmerman, cue chorus of angels — and demonstrates for us The Power of Sunglasses. William wears denim Never Nude cut-offs and an old Comic Relief tee shirt with a Uggs and earmuffs.

[Photos: Getty; Pacific Coast News, Splash]


Well Played: Kate Middleton in GOAT

I am totally taking the fact that she wore the brand Goat as a shout-out to Harry’s goat. She’s totally #TeamGoat. That albino pygmy hedgehog is just an upstart!

[Photos: Splash, AKM/GSI, Pacific Coast News]