Fug File: Unfug It Up

Met Gala Unfug It Up Carpet: Kristen Stewart in Chanel


I am enjoying the red hair on her for now:

Heather and I had a conversation yesterday wherein we decided that if you could just shave off the shower curtain from the bottom of this thing, and then beam her into the MTV Movie Awards, we’d been in business.

Let’s take a look at the back before we really get into this:

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Unfug It Up: Hailee Steinfeld


A) I love her. B) This is Erdem, and I love Erdem, generally. C) I love that she wore that great pink lipstick for a pink party. But:

I just want to race up to her and rip off that random shoulder piece. It’s like a mere one-half of the infamous Brenda/Kelly prom dress. And everyone knows, if you’re going to go there, you HAVE to go Full 90210.

What do you think? Rip it off? Add another random shoulder piece on the other side, so as to UNrandomize it? Remove the mock-turtleneck portion? Make it shorts? (Please, please don’t make it shorts.)

[Photo: Getty]

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Unfug It Up: Lea Michele in Naeem Khan


Lea Michele has been all over the place lately, trying too hard to be sultry and tween-y and edgy, as if she can’t figure out which direction to go in to make people buy her album, and is therefore coming across as inconsistent and mixed-up and crazy.

This is no exception. The hair and makeup are actually fine, at long last, and the detailing on her dress is certainly intricate, but something about the entire design is EXTREMELY matronly on her. Which is quite an achievement on a gown that also wants that nude look, but seriously — and by design, I’m sure — its illusion netting is rolling like Play-Doh up there around her neck and at her elbows. So it doesn’t REALLY expect you to believe it’s that slinky and tricky. It knows you’re not fooled, and actually, it almost seems kind of over itself. Why else would it quit at the elbows? That destroys the illusion almost as thoroughly as the piping itself. Throw in the stumpifying effect, and you’ve got a cocktail that MAY have needed a bit more shaking before the bartemder poured it into the glass. Play mixologist in the comments. Be the Tom Cruise. Make cocktails and dreams, and if you want, give us a poem.

[Photo: Getty]

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Unfug It Up: Aluna Francis


Aluna here is in a band called AlunaGeorge, which accounts for her presence at the Women In Music award.

And she is wearing underwear, which accounts for the white strip we can see underneath the filmy bits. I’m not sure what, exactly, explains the rest of it — the bracelets and lipstick are great, and there’s something pleasantly ethereal about the concept of the dress, but in practice it looks like a Project Runway Sacrilege Challenge in which they were required to rend a priest’s garments. Oh, and while I appreciate a non-nude shoe, those look like wet suits for her feet.

So, Fug Nation: Care to get creative with your imaginary toolboxes, or would you just sacrifice it all on the altar of bad fashion and start over?

[Photo: Getty]

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Unfug It Up: Leighton Meester in Emporio Armani


Welcome back, Blair Waldorf. Stay awhile this time, will you? With both you AND S off the canvas (whither Boobs Legsly I ASK THEE)(just kidding, she’s finally shooting a movie)(but damn, that took a long time) there has been a void of crazy fuggery others have been filling with way too much stretchy nakedness.

At least this isn’t see-through. It is a cheap shift that ate some curtains and is currently regurgitating them, but it is a CHANGE, and I am so HAPPY to have something else about which to gnash my teeth. (She’s even wearing a BRACELET, although the shoes are a totally boring color choice here and so that’s probably a styling wash.) I mean, I actually like that bottom fabric, potentially, but why does it look like it’s been sewn into the other thing with dental floss? How would you ladies fix this? Would you even bother? PLEASE, talk it up, and rejoice and be glad that one of the options doesn’t have to be, “Line it.”

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Unfug It Up: Anna Camp


This is SO CLOSE to being cute. So tantalizingly close.

Her head looks awesome. Her shoes are fabulous. And the crisp idea of the dress really works on her, but boy, is the execution weird. If only the boob patches joined up with the skirt, they’d look less like she’s in bandages. If only the underskirt didn’t look so much like an apron on a carhop. If only she were wearing a bracelet, and had a clutch that didn’t seem like it was originally planned for another outfit.

The waffled bit IS pretty, but I think that’s way too much of it down there on her thighs, and it’s used weirdly everywhere else… I just feel like there has to be a way to design this dress so that it still feels springy and cool and cute, and doesn’t evoke a waitress at a diner, and I suspect Fug Nation is just the bunch to fix it. To make it pitch perfect, as it were. O SNAP. When you have nothing witty left in the tank on a Friday afternoon, it’s a cherished GFY staple to go for the hackiest joke in the arsenal. I knew you’d be expecting it and I didn’t want to let you down; ergo I can call it SELFLESS triteitude. (Because, another GFY staple: nonsense words. IS IT BEER O’CLOCK YET?)

[Photos: Getty]

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