Fug File: Unfug It Up

Unfug It Up: Karolina Kurkova

Wow, it’s like the opposite of SJP’s dress. HER elbows have WINDOWS.

Karolina Kurkova amfAR inspiration gala

I’m sorry to see that she apparently broke both her forearms, though. Do you think she’d let me sign her casts? I think on one of them I would write, “Thou Shalt Not Foresake Mascara,” and on the other, “Thou Shalt Not Reveal The Colonel’s Secret Recipe.”

[Photo: Splash]


Unfug or Fab: Laverne Cox

The short version of THIS post is: I WANT to love it.

But I have almost never gone with the short version, ever, so why start now? I love Laverne on Orange Is The New Black — I’m only two episodes into the new season, so no spoilers here, except that she’s had limited work so far and yet she still repeatedly brings so much character and charm just to a handful of lines. There is something soothing about her, too. If I were in women’s prison, I would be in her hairdresser chair ALL THE TIME and basically then be her little groupie, because she would Get-A-Grip me through my sentence AND keep my grays hidden to boot. HOWEVER: The dress. I like the color but I’m not sure all that tulle swaddling is my personal cup of tea, nor are those kinds of dresses that stop what they’re doing two-thirds of the way down and then just HANG the rest of the way. Fug Nation, I place Laverne here in your tenderest of hands. What would you do to make this ASTONISHING and not merely pretty good? And how CUTE is her clutch, and how glad are we that she does not need a bracelet? So much to love here; let’s play fantasy stylist on the gown to make it perfect.

[Photo: Getty]


Unfug It Up: Kirsten Dunst in Rodarte

In fairness, it’s hard to top going to the Met Ball in a Death Star:

But the truth is that I am 74% of the way toward loving this. I might only change the shoes — I think this would be better with a strappy, fabulous heel — but I suspect others in Fug Nation might have more changes. To which I say: HAVE AT HER.

[Photo: Getty]


Met Gala Unfug It Up Carpet: Kristen Stewart in Chanel

I am enjoying the red hair on her for now:

Heather and I had a conversation yesterday wherein we decided that if you could just shave off the shower curtain from the bottom of this thing, and then beam her into the MTV Movie Awards, we’d been in business.

Let’s take a look at the back before we really get into this:

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Unfug It Up: Hailee Steinfeld

A) I love her. B) This is Erdem, and I love Erdem, generally. C) I love that she wore that great pink lipstick for a pink party. But:

I just want to race up to her and rip off that random shoulder piece. It’s like a mere one-half of the infamous Brenda/Kelly prom dress. And everyone knows, if you’re going to go there, you HAVE to go Full 90210.

What do you think? Rip it off? Add another random shoulder piece on the other side, so as to UNrandomize it? Remove the mock-turtleneck portion? Make it shorts? (Please, please don’t make it shorts.)

[Photo: Getty]


Unfug It Up: Lea Michele in Naeem Khan

Lea Michele has been all over the place lately, trying too hard to be sultry and tween-y and edgy, as if she can’t figure out which direction to go in to make people buy her album, and is therefore coming across as inconsistent and mixed-up and crazy.

This is no exception. The hair and makeup are actually fine, at long last, and the detailing on her dress is certainly intricate, but something about the entire design is EXTREMELY matronly on her. Which is quite an achievement on a gown that also wants that nude look, but seriously — and by design, I’m sure — its illusion netting is rolling like Play-Doh up there around her neck and at her elbows. So it doesn’t REALLY expect you to believe it’s that slinky and tricky. It knows you’re not fooled, and actually, it almost seems kind of over itself. Why else would it quit at the elbows? That destroys the illusion almost as thoroughly as the piping itself. Throw in the stumpifying effect, and you’ve got a cocktail that MAY have needed a bit more shaking before the bartemder poured it into the glass. Play mixologist in the comments. Be the Tom Cruise. Make cocktails and dreams, and if you want, give us a poem.

[Photo: Getty]