Fug File: royalty

Well Played, Kate Middleton in Hobbs and Gina Foster (and Prince William in his dress uniform) at the Irish Guards’ St. Patrick’s Day Parade


We had a good shaker of an earthquake here in Los Angeles this morning. It wasn’t HUGE, but it was long and it was very close to my house and I swear to you when it woke me up at 6:30 a.m., I thought, “well, I had to get up and see what Kate wore, anyway.” I’m here for you like that, you guys. My priorities are well in line, and they’re royalty, and coats.

Anyway, freshly back from the Maldives (and both of them definitely look like they got a little sun), and back to work for these two. We were talking on Twitter yesterday about whether or not Kate would make it a threepeat with her green Emilia Wickstead coat, which she’d worn to this event two years prior, and the answer is no. As we Royal Watchers here on GFY are only too aware, here’s been some chatter about them taking such a pricy vacation (although they paid for it themselves), so I wondered if she might want to recycle the Wickstead for the appearance of frugality. My thought was that she probably would wear something new, but not exorbitant — or new to this event, anyway — and this coat is from Hobbs (which we don’t have here in the States, so I’d love to know the equivalent) and it’s apparently something like 169 pounds, so very reasonable. If you think you recognize the hat, however, you’re correct, as it was most recently seen at the event I like to call The Great Hand-Holding of 2013. Let’s take a closer look and scrutinize everything from hair to body language within an inch of its life. PS: William apparently told some folks at this event that that they’re good with one baby for the time and Kate drank the Traditional St Patrick’s Day Boozey Toast, so for those of you who thought she might be having a relaxing gestation vacation (a phrase I just invented and think is just really, really terrible, thus I shall use it all the time in the place of “babymoon”), not yet, my friends. Not yet.

[Photos: Getty, Splash]

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Royals Round-Up, Week of March 10, 2014


A LOT happened this week, in addition to all the shenanigans to be covered herein — which include cake! Puppies! The exchange of monies between mother and son! AND Joan Collins! To catch you up on the stuff we’ve already talked about, first, though:

 

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Fabs and Fines: The Sir David Frost Memorial


David Frost, whom we Americans may know best as the Frost in Frost/Nixon, but who had a truly formidable and fascinating career, died in August, and there was a memorial service for him at Westminster Abbey yesterday, which drew — as the Telegraph said in the article to which I just linked — an eclectic crowd indeed: Sienna Miller! Pippa Middleton? Simon Le Bon! Fergie (the Duchness, not the Pea)? Many of them looked pretty great, I have to confess. Thank God no one showed up for a memorial service wearing, like, a bra top.

[Photos: Getty]

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Hatsily Played, Royal Family


I feel like all of them are like, “LA LA LA LA LOOK OVER HERE AT MEEEEEEEEEE WILL AND KATE WILL BE BACK EVENTUALLY EVERYTHING IS FINE!” It’s true that hats are a GREAT universal distraction. On the other hand, even the street signs are pressuring Harry to get married. Lay off, street signs!

[Speaking of all things royal, this seems as good a time as any to let you royal watchers know that we've put up a post on our book blog about the shenanigans we got up to in England at the start of this year, while we were over there researching The Royal We. Yes, that post includes both buttresses and futuristic pods in which to whizz.]

[Photos: Getty]

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Royally Played: Prince Harry and Cressida Bonas


First of all: There is literally no way that these two going public — they’ve now been out together twice this week, at official events, including one at which Harry was making a speech, so make no mistake, it’s on — doesn’t have something to do with an attempt to distract the public from the fact that Wills and Kate are in a bit of a PR nightmare due to their current ill-timed vacay. Someone called Harry — maybe William, honestly — and told him that it’d be great if The Spare and Cressida could take the heat off Kate and The Heir. Heather’s theory — which we all discussed in Friday’s Royals Round-up, and with which I agree — is that something is up with the Cambridges right now. As a not-at-all-well-placed outsider foreigner yahoo, I would not say I am concerned, but I do think something is afoot, and I think that any plans to slowly introduce Cressida have kind of been thrown out the window in an attempt to shore up popularity for The Firm. Now, I personally don’t find Cressida particularly likeable but I have literally no real reason for this other than the fact that she often looks bored — she might have Resting Bored Face — and obviously I strongly reject any grown woman who would actually wear a scrunchy for anything other than the gym or during her facial ablutions. Anyway, pour yourself some more coffee and let’s gossip.

[Photos: Getty]

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Royals Round-Up with Bonus Idris Elba


We continue to be Kate-less, as she and William are in the Maldives right now. I love them, as you guys know, but she was on vacation with her parents fairly recently, and the instant I read that they were on vacay again, I thought, “certain segments are going to give them a hard time for this,” and they already are. These two have a habit of taking a vacation before starting a long work trip — they’ve got that three-week tour in April coming up, which sounds lovely but will also be loads of people up in their respective grills — but this second honeymoon feels like it might be a little bit of a PR misstep coming so close on the heels of another vacation, especially since William is supposed to be in school. I mean, trust, if I could take multiple mid-winter tropical trips, I would, but you feel me. I’m not entirely sure the thought process here was entirely solid, is what I am saying. Their anniversary is the week they get back from Australia and NZ, so my personal theory is that they decided to jaunt off for some alone time while they could and weren’t miserably jet-lagged with a jet-lagged infant, but if I, rando American ladyblogger (who is, in fairness, writing a book about Royal Shenanigans) can predict the side-eye, then someone being paid for Public Side-Eye Predictions could also have done so. Maybe their Public Side-Eye Predictors are EVIL! Wait, let me write that down….

…okay, I’m back. All that being said, the good news is that Prince Harry is making up for it by rolling around in camo pants, and going places with Cressida (which, meh, I am still unsold on her, but let’s discuss; this is the first time she’s officially been at a public event with him, so it’s possible my vote doesn’t count) and also there are robots and Victorian orphans and bonus Idris Elba because WHY NOT. IT’S FRIDAY.

[Photos: Getty, WENN, Splash]

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