Fug File: Fug or Fab

Fug or Fab: Anne Hathaway in Christopher Kane


This does at least FEEL very Alice In Wonderland.

Alice Through The Looking Glass Premieres in Hollywood

I just wish it felt that way in a pretty sense, rather than like a fever dream about getting locked inside a florist’s shop after closing. Like The Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, except involuntary, and with more allergies.

We missed an earlier look of hers that I like better:

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Cannes Fugs or Fabs: Kirsten Dunst


Can we make Kirsten Dunst a juror somewhere else too? I’m going to miss her now that Cannes has finished.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty]

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Cannes Fug or Fab: Elle Fanning in Valentino at the amfAR Gala


This picture is not the best, but here’s the problem I ran into: All the ones of her facing the camera, or at least all the ones we have, expose half her right nipple. The bodice had slid to the side a little. And I know Elle is 18 now and technically legal, but… she still feels 14 to me, and it just made me really uncomfortable. But I thought it’d be hard to evaluate the dress if I censored it somehow by sticking a big ol’ thing over her boob, so this is the view you’re getting instead.

Elle Fanning

It does, at least, show off the intricacies of the skirt. I actually think the dress is fairly pretty, if also something for a Khaleesi to wear during some kind of dragon-birthing ritual. For Elle, I really wish they’d found a way to change up the bodice; you can call me a pearl-clutching grandma if you want, and that’s probably true, but I’m just not quite ready yet for all that sideboob from her. The whole bodice feels like a mature brand of boho-slouch – like we should be seeing it on Kate Hudson or Gwyneth instead. Which is conflicting me, because Elle DOES have the youthful whimsy to pull off the skirt. I don’t know. What do you think? Talk to me, Goose. (Geese? Do I have to pluralize my Top Gun references just because you are many entities? These are the struggles of a blogger with old pop culture touchstones.)

[Photo: Getty]

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Cannes Fug Carpet: Kristen Stewart in Chanel


Uh-oh, y’all.

Kristen Stewart

Someone left Donna Martin out in the rain.

[Photo: Getty]

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Cannes Fug or Fab: Vanessa Paradis in Chanel


This is peak Paradis time, I think. Her ex Johnny Depp has never looked weirder, and his current wife occasionally gives off a GOB Bluth-ian air of, “I’ve made a terrible mistake.” So WINK IT UP, Paradis. You’re gonna win this thing.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

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Cannes Fug or Fab: Julianne Moore in Givenchy


Having just complained that Jessica Chastain left her nutballs in the pantry, or whatever, I should start by saying THANK YOU to Julianne Moore for picking up some of that slack.

Julianne Moore

And congratulations to her for snagging that job as the new head of Slytherin. They could REALLY use someone who’s better at recruitment and hexing the sorting hat. More Crabbes and Goyles just won’t cut it.

She changed later…

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Fug or Fab: Taylor Swift in Monique Lhuillier


So, right before I saw this photo, I had found one in which a different photo service mis-identified Ivana Trump — IVANA, not Ivanka — as Gigi Hadid. This is important because it establishes that I was already in a “WHAT IS GOING ON???” frame of mind when I saw this photo thumbnail and thought, “Dear GOD, and now they’ve mistaken Ashlee Simpson for Taylor Swift.” Observe:

Taylor Swift

In fairness, that IS a leap a person could make, if it were, say, 2007. That thumbnail says, “My extremely famous sister Jessica is wearing Daisy Dukes with wedges all over town and I’m stuck in burnout velvet and chokers because my dad told me I’m alternative.”

let’s blow it up

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