Fug File: Fug Madness

Fug Madness 2015, Round Two: Madonna Bracket, Part 2


No. 1 RIHANNA vs. No. 8 CARA DELEVINGNE

I love it when we get a match-up where the two contenders are wearing, if not the same thing, something from the same line. For example, Rihanna wore this INSANELY AWFUL Tom Ford outfit….

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While Cara wore one from the same collection:

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Pasties are hard to pull off. Literally and figuratively.

Let’s take a little twirl through Rihanna’s year (although there’s WAY more in her archives. SO much more. #NeverForget that time she went naked to the CFDAs or the time she wore green lipstick and lace.)

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That is just hilarious. I loved it, but I also recognize that it’s ridiculous. Likewise ridiculous, but far less loved:

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Fug Madness 2015, Round Two: Charo Bracket, Part 2


Jump to: No. 3Lindsay Lohan vs. No. 6 Chrissy Teigen
No. 2 KAT GRAHAM vs. No. 7 CIARA  

This one is going to be tricky.

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In one corner, we have Kat Graham, noted kook, lover of awful pants, passionate wearer of one’s own abs, defender of the secrets of Castle Braskull. (No, seriously, she loves a visible undergarment.)

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In the other, Ciara, equal lover of blazers and bad bottoms, but cleaving more to formal tube tops.

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Kat here went full Boobs with her formalwear…

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Fug Madness 2015, Round Two: Bjork Bracket, Part 2


No. 4 KATE HUDSON vs. No. 5 ROSARIO DAWSON

This is like the battle of two gorgeous women who do terrible things to themselves via clothing. Both of you have scored in the genetic lottery and you are SQUANDERING YOUR WINNINGS!

This is a waste:

"Wish I Was Here" - Screening

And I am a person who LOVES crazy pants — LOVES THEM — and these are still giving me a migraine.

This is a pillowcase:

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Fug Madness 2015, Round Two: Cher Bracket, Part 2


Jump to: No. 6 Solange vs. No. 14 Keke Palmer
 

No. 2 JENNIFER LOPEZ vs. No. 10 NATASHA BEDINGFIELD

I don’t get to talk about Jennifer Lopez that much as myself, because I’m usually writing AS her. So I will take this time to note that I find her deeply, deeply hilarious, and I had grabbed these photos ages ago and then forgotten to do anything with them. So let’s just behold the faces she makes when she’s en route to Idol from her trailer. Whether she is dressed as a Versace sneaker…

Jennifer Lopez Arriving For Tonights 'American Idol' Show

… or a tube of lipstick that you’ve used really unevenly to the point where it’s almost sharp…

Jennifer Lopez Arriving For Tonights 'American Idol' Show

… or as a super fancy, psychedelic Pac Man level:

Judges Arriving For Tonight's 'American Idol' Show

That expression really tickles me. She’s probably just checking that there’s nothing in her teeth, but something about it tickles me silly. I love you, J.Lo, fug and all. Never change.

And as for that fug, let’s get into it. We’ve seen that she wore a dress with one pant leg. We’ve seen that she wore identically themed gowns made of criss-crossing straps — one to the VMAs, and one to the AMAs (with an honorable mention for this white one that’s halfway there). But let’s not forget what happens when she allows Tom Ford to have at her:

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Fug Madness 2015, Round Two: Madonna Bracket, Part One


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No. 2 CHLOE GRACE MORETZ  vs. No. 7 KENDALL JENNER

The battle of the youngsters, or, Outfits They’re Going to Look Back At Eventually And Say, “Ugh, What Was I Thinking?!”

Exhibits A-Z:

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OH KENDALL. Sometimes I look at what she wears and wonder if, like, Kris is just screwing with her and never actually expects her to leave the house in her suggestions. Like, THIS was a mistake:

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It’s just horrifying. I cannot know that much about anyone’s waxing habits beyond my own, thanks.

And this feels like something Kim rejected:

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Fug Madness 2015, Round Two: Charo Bracket, Part 1


Jump to: No. 4 Iggy Azalea vs. No. 12 Irina Shayk
 

No. 1 RITA ORA vs. No. 8 CHRISTINA HENDRICKS 

Christina’s entire run revolves around this:

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It turned her into a wrapped gift to Fug Madness fans. Even her hair seems to have conceded the point and given up on her.

But let’s not discount the impact of the yellow satin turban:

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