Fug File: Fug Madness

Fug Madness 2016, Round Two: Bjork Bracket, Part One


Bye bye Bella: Kanye West dispatched Ms. Thorne in Round 1 with 67 percent of the vote to her 33. Diane Kruger was even more ruthless with Greta Gerwig; she lassoed a three-quarters majority. Gigi Hadid and Heidi Klum clash here because they each garnered 89 percent of the vote against Dakota Johnson and Nicki Minaj, respectively, and now one of their hands will be forced. WHAT SHALL BE? Let’s see.

Also, my portmanteaux for these: Krugye and Heidid.

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Fug Madness 2016, Round Two: Cher Bracket, Part One


In the first round of this bracket, our number one seed Rita Ora proved that she’s a force to be reckoned with when she took down FKA Twigs with a strong but not brutal 68% of the vote. Today, she takes on Lily Collins — who took a 60/40 split over Karolina Kurkova — in what’s sure to be a battle to remember. Our other game brings you Jennifer Lawrence (who easily beat Charlize in the Battle of the Dior Spokeswomen) taking on Kourtney Kardashian, who cleaned up in her game against Ciara — the one outcome here that really surprised me. Who will win? Click through and make some history.



Fug Madness 2016, Round One: Charo Bracket, Part 2


I think my favorite part about the technical nitty-gritty is making the links within the post so that you can jump down to a particular matchup. For the HTML markers I’ve been using portmanteaus of the contestants’ names, and sometimes, that delights me. Like here, we have JanJoden, Jenbrosio, Zenfani, and… Cara XCX, which is pretty obvious, but whatever.

3, 2, 1…


Fug Madness 2016 Round One: Bjork Bracket, Part 2


I just realized that this bracket involves a Kate v. Kate match-up, in the form of Mara v. Bosworth. It also brings you the OTHER Mara, our number one seed Rooney, who takes on Malin Akerman. Noted Kook-in-Training Amber Valletta takes on another model, in the form of Emily Ratajkowski, and Elizabeth Olsen reps her family to take on Jaimie King. WHO WILL PREVAIL? Click through and you decide.


Fug Madness 2016, Round One: Cher Bracket, Part 2


Miley and Gwyneth get to face off here in a showdown I would actually want to watch in real life. Somehow. Also in action: solid contender Kate Hudson, perennial presence Selena Gomez, and newbie Keke Palmer.

3, 2, 1…


Fug Madness 2016 Round One: Madonna Bracket, Part 1

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Don’t you love Gaga there, welcoming us to this final bracket of the day? SHE IS OVERJOYED TO SEE US. I am overjoyed by the idea of seeing her face off against Noted Kook Kate Capshaw. Likewise,  I find the idea of Amy Schumer battling Cate Blanchett to be a fight I sort of wish also involved an arm-wrestling match. Former It-Girl Sienna Miller tackles — not literally — current It-Girl Hailee Steinfeld, and Nicole Kidman takes on Serayah, which…who hasn’t dreamed of those two, together at last? (Actually, Nicole would be fun on Empire, so let’s work on that.) TO THE BRACKETS:

Express Yourself


Fug Madness 2016 Round One: Charo Bracket, Part 1

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Herein, we have last year’s winner beginning her bid to be the first-ever champion, and perennial faves Chloe Sevigny, Rihanna, and Solange each tipping off against a lower seed. Can anyone pull the upset?

Bring it