Did you miss Round One? Do you still need a bracket? Those links will help you catch up. And now onward…


Jump to: (5) Noomi Rapace vs. (13) Iskra Lawrence


This is a tougher battle than the seed numbers suggest. Dascha may have improved this year, but the good means nothing; it’s fug against fug, and it’s — wait, what’s this Kendall? Feeling bashful? Nervous?

The British Fashion Awards, Arrivals, Royal Albert Hall, London, UK - 10 Dec 2018


Vanity Fair Oscars Party


Harper's Bazaar ICONS party, Arrivals, Spring Summer 2019, New York Fashion Week, USA - 07 Sep 2018


And what’s funny is, Kendall really has a thing for overlong pants. While her Met Gala outfit seemed mostly fine, it was a full scrolldown with sad little trains on each leg, which were excessive and yet — compared to these — suddenly also look pathetic? That’s quite a trick. She also is addicted to gladiator sandals, deploying them not once but twice, which is the same number of times she wore these lace-up leather bellbottoms (go back a slide for the other instance). And I looked at this and I’m FAIRLY sure that top is not supposed to be worn tucked into pants? Certainly not those pants, unless thy are tear-aways, and EVEN THEN.

Let’s take a look at Kylie, though. She is, comparatively, practically reclusive (well, if you discount Rob, which sadly the entire family pretty much does, so). When she does appear, then, it seems deeply unfair to make her do so in this:

61st Annual Grammy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 10 Feb 2019

She looks so puzzled, as if she’s been in the pitch dark for three days and Kris just threw on the lights. That is also the only explanation for anyone willingly wearing this.

Or this:

The Mark Hotel Celebrates the 2018 Met Gala

Why did Alexander Wang inflict this upon a newish mother? Honestly, do we need to give Kylie credit for following through on the deal and leaving the house in this, rather than lighting it on fire? She did at least make sure to flash the tights that read ALEXANDER WANG on the legs, perhaps to try and assign as much blame as possible to the maker.

Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott out and about, New York, USA - 06 May 2018

Kylie, that is a great Kim impersonation, but you lost it with the shoes. Kim would only wear clear plastic ones with this, and you KNOW IT.

But friends, if the Jenners make it through this round, or win this entire thing, I genuinely think a large part of it will be because of what you are about to see. Fug Nation, eagle-eyed readers of my heart, I need you now:





Kylie Jenner out and about, New York, USA - 05 May 2018

It’s some kind of sweatshirt, right, with a strapless… bodice thing over it, and then…  is she… holding up… leather overalls that … are on backwards, and also have split, and also… tie at the ankles? Is it.. I don’t understand. My eyes don’t speak this language. It’s a fug dialect that hasn’t been discovered yet.

Dascha Polanco has her work cut out for her, then.

Beauty Con Festival - Day One

Luckily, much of this dress was cut out for her, too. HEY-YOOOO.

She really does seem to like things that lace, by the way:

Refinery29 29Rooms New York 2018: Expand Your Reality Opening Party

And things that are made of lace:

2018 MTV Video Music Awards - Arrivals, New York, USA - 20 Aug 2018

This is a confusing situation, made more amusing by the stacked image of Natasha Lyonne behind her looking horrified:

'Russian Doll' TV show season premiere, Arrivals, New York, USA - 23 Jan 2019

If you’re thinking to yourself, “Well, okay, yes, that is all bad, but can she counter their pants issues?” I say yes:

'Orange Is The New Black' screening, Miami, USA - 19 Jul 2018


Archives: Kendall and Kylie; Dascha Polanco

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • The Jenners (41%, 1,877 Votes)
  • Dascha Polanco (59%, 2,742 Votes)

Total Voters: 4,619

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Welcome, Iskra! You’ve just defeated perennial Fug Madness contender Heidi Klum in the upset of the tournament so far (and yes, that includes No. 3 Rowan Blanchard losing, because she lost to Maren Morris, which automatically makes it less surprising). But no rest for the wicked, my dear. You’ve got to push on; what new ground can you break here for us?

Balmain show, Departures, Spring Summer 2019, Paris Fashion Week, France - 28 Sep 2018

I see. Yes, that definitely qualifies.

'Lorraine' TV show, London, UK - 09 May 2018

Is it just the way she’s standing, or are those pants sincerely terrible to her crotch? Surely jeans would have been a better play. Let’s all join hands and hep end cameltoe.

These trousers fit better:

71st annual Cannes Film Festival - Celebrity Sightings - Day 7

But the entire outfit is a bowlful of nope.

Jonathan Simkhai show, arrivals, Fall Winter 2019, New York Fashion Week, USA - 09 Feb 2019

So. Much. Satin. Honestly, she kind of has issues with pants. This sweater below is SO CUTE:

Arrivals to Ellie Saab Fashion Show at PFW

But then her pants are excessively ventilated. Here’s a thought: Wear a skirt!

Or, dont’:

Embed from Getty Images

The shirt that is knotted under her chest MIGHT even kill me more than the giant slit that would blow open if someone so much as sneezed near her.

2018 Glamour Women of the Year Awards

That is theoretically extremely cute, but in practice very puzzling, because she has one enormous long sleeve and allllll that fabric could have been used to finish the skirt.

Iskra Lawrence out and about, Paris Fashion Week, France - 01 Mar 2018

Yes, that is a wrap-blazer dress that is cut high and open at the sides. For reasons that are unknowable. And then of course we have this:

PrettyLittleThing x Hailey Baldwin launch event, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 05 Nov 2018

Noomi Rapace is a WHOLE different vibe. I noted in one post that she reminded me of one particular Annie Potts scene in Pretty In Pink, but I’d like to amend that — I think she very well might BE Annie Potts in Pretty and Pink, because she is a chameleon from moment to moment. We’ll get this:

Christian Dior: Designer of Dreams exhibition dinner, V&A Museum, London, UK - 29 Jan 2019

And then shift to this:

Embed from Getty Images

And then, whoosh, back to this:

British Vogue Fashion and Film BAFTA party, Annabel's, London, UK - 10 Feb 2019

And then to THIS:

'Roma' premiere, BFI London Film Festival, UK - 13 Oct 2018

Do you have whiplash yet? No? Well:

Star Arrivals at a Screening of Close

She wore that exact off-center suit, but in a different color and with velvet hooves, a day later — and it was again a whole new vibe:

Dior Homme show, Arrivals, Fall Winter 2019, Paris Fashion Week Men's, France - 18 Jan 2019


Embed from Getty Images

More? You got it:

Film Premiere Sharp Objects

She’s Carmen Sandiego meets Pharrell meets… well, Noomi Rapace, I guess.

But what would a Fug Madness post be without a big finish? I have you covered as well as animal print does her:

Charles Finch X Chanel Pre-Bafta Dinner

Solid work, ladies. And with that, the ball is tipped.

Archives: Noomi Rapace, Iskra Lawrence

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Noomi Rapace (26%, 1,231 Votes)
  • Iskra Lawrence (74%, 3,432 Votes)

Total Voters: 4,663

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