Jump to the polls: (15) Shania Twain v. (10) Kristen Stewart · (6) Kaitlyn Dever v. (3) Jackie Cruz

(15) Shania Twain v. (10) Kristen Stewart

Friends! I AM much impressed by the fact that Shania Twain — a 15 seed! — knocked out Margot Robbie and her parade of weird Chanels in the first round. Never go up against Shania when Fug Madness is on the line, apparently. This is in spite of the fact that Shania hardly went out at all this year. In fairness, when she did leave, it WAS bad.

Like so:

47th Annual American Music Awards, Arrivals, Microsoft Theater, Los Angeles, USA - 24 Nov 2019

And so:

62nd Annual Grammy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 26 Jan 2020

And soooo:

American Heart Association's Go Red for Women, Arrivals, New York, USA - 05 Feb 2020

And so (this is a D&G knock-off; I guess points to La Twain for not giving them her money?):

Power of Love Gala 2019 Arrivals

But in fairness, the rest of the time she was home in Canada doing whatever Shania does at home. (Sing to her plants? Sure.) Can those brave efforts overcome Kristen Stewart’s body of work? Let’s take a look. We have so much more from her, because she was promoting several films during the period of eligibility: Seberg, the new Charlie’s Angels, the movie where everyone lived underwater and something terrible happened (that one didn’t really sink in for me).  She promoted them with questionable glitter, this Biebs-y situation, a belt made of shoelaces, and this very very very giant suit. Also:

45th Deauville American Film Festival Closing Ceremony

I get that she needs to take the classic Chanel jacket and make it vibe with her look, but this might have over-corrected. At the same event:

Deauville Seberg Premiere

And never forget that, like Kacey Musgraves, she also wore a Fashion Snowsuit:

Celebrity Arrivals at Chanel Show During Paris Fashion Week Fall/Winter 2019/2020

She also, may I remind you, wore sheer pants over a pair of granny panties:

Fashion Chanel Photocall, Paris, France - 04 Dec 2019

As well as a necklace as a shirt:

Amazon Studios 'Seberg' Special Film Screening Presented by Audi, Los Angeles, USA - 10 Dec 2019

And…whatever is happening here:

'Good Morning America' TV show, New York, USA - 06 Nov 2019

Check out her archive, too. (I’ve shown you all of Shania.) And then:

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Shania Twain (50%, 2,561 Votes)
  • Kristen Stewart (50%, 2,538 Votes)

Total Voters: 5,099

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(6) Kaitlyn Dever v. (3) Jackie Cruz

Oooh,  this is going to be a fun one! Jackie Cruz is a strong three-seed — her archives are vast and deep! — but Kaitlyn is a real up-and-comer (also, again: Booksmart is exactly what we all need in these dark days, so definitely watch if you have not).This is amusing:

'This Changes Everything' premiere, Miami International Film Festival opening night, USA - 01 Mar 2019

This truly took some guts and honestly in this time of quarantine, I’d like an AMA with Jackie Cruz merely about this look. Does she regret it? Did she think it through? Will she wear it again? AND WHY?

Jackie Cruz Launches Kat Von D Beauty Go Big Or Go Home Mascara With A Personal Appearance At Sephora

Her facial expression here truly seems to say it all. It says, “I REGRET THIS!”

Orange is the New Black Final Season-Arrivals

Is this made of bedsheets? If so, at least it’s creative:

Stranger Things 3 Season Premiere

But that’s not all! We’ve also got these stripe-y business bike shorts, this profoundly weird bra top, and this wacky tracksuit and heels combo.

LET’S SEGUE TO KAITLYN, whose archives await you here. Amid them, we’ve got a meh, an eh, an ack, and a HUH. But also:

Olivia Wilde and Booksmart Cast at Build Series

She looks like a tiny person playing dress-up in that. Also, the shoe/socks combo is perplexing indeed.

Speaking of perplexing:

Prabal Gurung show, Front Row, Spring Summer 2020, New York Fashion Week, New York, USA - 08 Sep 2019

That middle section on her torso sort of reminds me of the kind of belly bands pregnant women wear with their jeans when they can’t button them anymore. I guess inspiration can come from anywhere.

It’s not Fug Madness if someone isn’t going sheer on us:

Golden Globe Ambassador Launch Party, Arrivals, Catch, Los Angeles, USA - 14 Nov 2019

Or sporting a visible bra:

BAFTA Tea Party, Arrivals, Four Seasons Hotel, Los Angeles, USA - 04 Jan 2020

So I guess we’re officially in full swing.

It’s your turn to make some hard choices:

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Kaitlyn Dever (26%, 1,265 Votes)
  • Jackie Cruz (74%, 3,579 Votes)

Total Voters: 4,844

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