Fug Madness, Round Two: Will You Continued to Be Unimpressed By Shania Twain?

Jump to the polls: (15) Shania Twain v. (10) Kristen Stewart · (6) Kaitlyn Dever v. (3) Jackie Cruz

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(15) Shania Twain v. (10) Kristen Stewart

Friends! I AM much impressed by the fact that Shania Twain — a 15 seed! — knocked out Margot Robbie and her parade of weird Chanels in the first round. Never go up against Shania when Fug Madness is on the line, apparently. This is in spite of the fact that Shania hardly went out at all this year. In fairness, when she did leave, it WAS bad.

Like so:

And so:

And soooo:

And so (this is a D&G knock-off; I guess points to La Twain for not giving them her money?):

But in fairness, the rest of the time she was home in Canada doing whatever Shania does at home. (Sing to her plants? Sure.) Can those brave efforts overcome Kristen Stewart’s body of work? Let’s take a look. We have so much more from her, because she was promoting several films during the period of eligibility: Seberg, the new Charlie’s Angels, the movie where everyone lived underwater and something terrible happened (that one didn’t really sink in for me).  She promoted them with questionable glitter, this Biebs-y situation, a belt made of shoelaces, and this very very very giant suit. Also:

I get that she needs to take the classic Chanel jacket and make it vibe with her look, but this might have over-corrected. At the same event:

And never forget that, like Kacey Musgraves, she also wore a Fashion Snowsuit:

She also, may I remind you, wore sheer pants over a pair of granny panties:

As well as a necklace as a shirt:

And…whatever is happening here:

Check out her archive, too. (I’ve shown you all of Shania.) And then:

(6) Kaitlyn Dever v. (3) Jackie Cruz

Oooh,  this is going to be a fun one! Jackie Cruz is a strong three-seed — her archives are vast and deep! — but Kaitlyn is a real up-and-comer (also, again: Booksmart is exactly what we all need in these dark days, so definitely watch if you have not).This is amusing:

This truly took some guts and honestly in this time of quarantine, I’d like an AMA with Jackie Cruz merely about this look. Does she regret it? Did she think it through? Will she wear it again? AND WHY?

Her facial expression here truly seems to say it all. It says, “I REGRET THIS!”

Is this made of bedsheets? If so, at least it’s creative:

But that’s not all! We’ve also got these stripe-y business bike shorts, this profoundly weird bra top, and this wacky tracksuit and heels combo.

LET’S SEGUE TO KAITLYN, whose archives await you here. Amid them, we’ve got a meh, an eh, an ack, and a HUH. But also:

She looks like a tiny person playing dress-up in that. Also, the shoe/socks combo is perplexing indeed.

Speaking of perplexing:

That middle section on her torso sort of reminds me of the kind of belly bands pregnant women wear with their jeans when they can’t button them anymore. I guess inspiration can come from anywhere.

It’s not Fug Madness if someone isn’t going sheer on us:

Or sporting a visible bra:

So I guess we’re officially in full swing.

It’s your turn to make some hard choices: