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As we announced yesterday, Fug Madness — like Major League Baseball! — has been hit by a CHEATING SCANDAL. The short version: Some crackpot made a bot that voted over and over and over again for Shania Twain, and thus we had to disqualify Shania from the competition. Will she face a lifetime ban, a la Pete Rose? Time — and the deliberations of the commissioners of Fug Madness (me and Heather) — will tell. However, congrats/sorry to Ellie Goulding, who has moved into the Final Four to take on Reigning Champ Rita Ora, who only BARELY squeaked past Halsey in the previous round.

To those of you who’ve asked why we didn’t rewind and do an Ellie v. Jackie Cruz match: Even though, in retrospect, I’m sure the Jackie Cruz/Shania Twain match-up was also stolen, when we moved forward with Shania into the Elite Eight, we essentially “verified” the results of it. (I, at the time, believed that result to be weird but not necessarily fraudulent. Frankly, it did not occur to me that anyone would do something so lame as attempt to fix Fug Madness. It is, however, why I kept a much closer eye on Shania v. Ellie, and ergo it played a integral role in uncovering this scandal.) Now, as a mega-fan of the Dodgers who feels ROBBED by the nefarious and illegal machinations of the Astros of a World Series title, please know that I have nothing but sympathy for Jackie in this deeply unfair time, but we can’t unravel this thing too far back.  Hopefully, this travesty will act as a sort of Fug Madness Origin Story for Jackie, and she will come back BLAZING to claim what she knows is rightfully hers.

But until then, ’tis a battle of the British pop stars:

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Rita Ora (60%, 2,414 Votes)
  • Ellie Goulding (40%, 1,632 Votes)

Total Voters: 4,046

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