Jump to the polls: (1) Bella Hadid v. (9) Ciara · (5) Ellie Goulding v. (4) Julianne Hough

(1) Bella Hadid v. (9) Ciara

Get ready for two very pretty women with crazy-ass wardrobes. I feel like I could say, “her head looks great here, but” about like 92% of all of these looks:

The Mark Hotel : 2019 Met Gala

Also, just so you know, Bella had a VARIETY of different hair colors this eligibility period. Different hair colors and a very distressing travel outfit. This look only makes sense if you’re going to step aerobics:

Celebrity Sightings In New York City - July 25, 2019

Weirdly, it’s like the black socks that trouble me the most? (On a long list of troubling things.)

She also wore this basic outfit about sixty-five times this year. She is LOVING a napkin tied to her boobs with ribbons in this hellscape time:

Louis Vuitton : Photocall - Paris Fashion Week - Menswear F/W 2020-2021

She also wore this weird cropped denim jacket held together with safety pins (intentionally), and this bra as a top.

This is likewise confusing:

Dior Backstage Event: Hosted by Bella Hadid and Peter Philips

What did I say about the cropped halter? BEHOLD:

2019 MTV VMAs

I believe this is her costume for the model-fronted remake of Blade:

The Art of Elysium's 13th Annual Heaven Gala, Arrivals, Palladium, Los Angeles, USA - 04 Jan 2020

From leather…to denim:

Gigi Hadid Birthday Party, New York, USA - 22 Apr 2019

A lot of it. All of it. All of the denim!!!

I have to admit, in these dark days, that I hate this corny shirt:

Love Magazine Party, Arrivals, Spring Summer 2020, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2019

This is a mere taste of her shenanigans! We’ve also got this other ALL LEATHER EXPERIENCE, this outfit that might actually be a Ghostbusters costume, and these knee feathers.

Ciara’s face also looks great in all of these, and she does NOT wear a corny shirt, at least. She DOES wear HUGE pants, though:

Ciara Wears All Black at YouTube

They’re like curtains. Curtain pants. Curtants? Pantains? We’ll work on that.

I need a week or two to come up with the word for this top-train-ruffle situation:

Dear Mama VH1 Gala

Ciara really IS all about curtains repurposed as clothing at the moment, isn’t she?

This is like the cutest formal bathing suit cover-up:

2019 CFDA Fashion Awards

And this makes me laugh. Is it a shout-out to Russell Wilson’s football gear?

Bvlgari x B.Zero1 Rock Collection debut party, Fall Winter 2020, New York Fashion Week, USA - 06 Feb 2020

Hey, remember what I said about curtains? Here’s one repurposed as a TRAIN:

23rd Annual Ace Awards, Arrivals, New York, USA - 10 Jun 2019

Speaking of repurposing, here’s a necklace as a shirt:

47th Annual American Music Awards, Arrivals, Microsoft Theater, Los Angeles, USA - 24 Nov 2019

And yet another curtain, this time a VERY sheer one over a bathing suit:

Vanity Fair Oscar Party, Arrivals, Fashion Highlights, Los Angeles, USA - 09 Feb 2020

This seems like something she wore a green-screen-required video game shot:

Harlem Fashion Row

I WOULD buy a Sims expansion pack that let me play as Ciara, I’m not going to lie.

But that’s not all! She also wore these VERY on-theme boots, ALL this leather, and this….top? And ALL this leopard.

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Bella Hadid (74%, 3,423 Votes)
  • Ciara (26%, 1,179 Votes)

Total Voters: 4,602

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(5) Ellie Goulding v. (5) Julianne Hough

Now that I’ve seen these snaps together, I feel like Ellie and Julianne COULD star as sisters in some upcoming musical, although I don’t know if Ellie can act. (I have my doubts about Julianne’s wardrobe, but she WAS very charming in the Rock of Ages movie.)

Something about this dress looks like the cocktail version of those whimsical aprons that look like a bikini body

Julianne Hough Leaving Dinner at Raul`s

This is great if you’re in an Esther Williams movie, but she is NOT. Although that cardigan is legit very good:

2019 Billboard Music Awards

Is this TRACK PANTS and a tube top of feathers? This feels like Wardrobe By Mad Libs:

America’s Got Talent Live Show Screening

This definitely looks contagious:

2019 iHeartRadio Music Festival And Daytime Stage

Honestly, this might ALSO be contagious:

NBC 2019/20 Upfront, New York, USA - 13 May 2019

Is “contagious” the theme of her wardrobe right now? I guess it’s….timely???

Industry Dance Awards & Cancer Benefit Show, Arrivals, Avalon Hollywood & Bardot, Los Angeles, USA - 14 Aug 2019

I feel like three or four other people in this Fug Madness have already worn this. Maybe they’ll meet up eventually!

Over to Ellie:

Bulgari Serpenti Seduttori Party, Arrivals, Spring Summer 2020, London Fashion Week, UK - 15 Sep 2019

I am so used to saying, “pick a sleeve,” but I guess this is time for PICK A LEG.

Check out these massive sleeves. Even Anne Shirley is like, “dial it down, sister.”

Vanity Fair Cannes Party 2019

These are ALSO gigantic sleeves…among everything else:

Capital Radio Summertime Ball 2019

Talk about getting dressed via MadLib. That is a hot, convoluted mess.

Although honestly so is this:

The Fashion Awards, Arrivals, Royal Albert Hall, London, UK - 02 Dec 2019

I am beginning to think Ellie should have been seeded higher:

2019 Variety's Hitmakers Brunch, West Hollywood, USA - 07 Dec 2019

And I predict this vote will be tight. Before you get to it, make sure you look at Julianne’s archives, and Ellie’s as well.

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Julianne Hough (28%, 1,248 Votes)
  • Ellie Goulding (72%, 3,152 Votes)

Total Voters: 4,400

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