British Vogue and the mothership share a cover this week celebrating Linda Evangelista, Cindy Crawford, Christy Turlington, and Naomi Campbell. Yes, that’s right, they got four O.G. supermodels, arguably the exact four faces you picture when somebody uses the word “supermodel,” and THIS is the best they could do with them. It’s dreary. It’s drab. It’s SO severe. I didn’t recognize Christy Turlington for a second, which is absurd, and she’s also wearing gnarly shoes that make you stare directly at what her toes are doing. Naomi Campbell’s dress is odd and shapeless from this angle. Not one of them is doing her best modeling, although Linda Evangelista is doing her level best, given that she was last seen on British Vogue posing very carefully due to her CoolSculpting trauma. They’re basically all dressed like they’re at Vogue’s funeral, which, if Vogue keeps being this dull and uninspired, they might well BE pretty soon.

Before you get too mad at Anna Wintour, Edward Enninful is credited as “fashion editor” for this shoot — though we all know he’s leaving, so maybe this cover indicates he has one and a half feet out the door already. Or he JUST did the clothes and checked out of what they actually did in them. I suppose it could also be SABOTAGE, but I’m more inclined to think that Enninful was hanging out with them more than he was really supervising anything. The piece, by Sally Singer, makes a point of saying how long he’s known all four.

The story attached to it also, and chiefly, promotes the documentary they’re doing: The Super Models, and yes they use a space there, which premieres on Apple TV+ on Sept. 20. It’s structured as vignettes with each of them; some might be from the film, but a couple are definitely from new interviews. And a few of them are quite interesting. For example, Christy Turlington takes Singer to a Richard Avedon exhibit at the Gagosian for which she and others were asked to pick a photo to be included, and she was one of very few people not to choose one of herself. There’s another bit where Linda Evangelista talks about not wanting an entitled child, using as one example the time they waited for 90 minutes — as opposed to using her identity to skip the line — to get into Chanel to buy a gift. (That reveal made me laugh.) There’s also a recollection of the time Linda was ill at Thanksgiving and her son’s stepmother, who is none other than Salma Hayek, insisted she would fly to New York and cook for her:

“She asked what I wanted—it was a very eclectic wish list. I wanted her Mexican chicken with truffled potatoes. And she spent the day in the kitchen and cooked it herself. No help. The kids helped her at the end. She made a feast—a beautiful, beautiful meal. I had told her that I wasn’t going to have Thanksgiving; I wasn’t feeling well. And she said, ‘Oh yes you are: I am coming.’ And poof, she was here.”

That made me love Salma. Anyway, here’s the whole thing; I have to be honest, I did find myself skimming at times, so I know I missed a lot. But I’ll watch the documentary.

[Photos: Rafael Pavarotti; story by Sally Singer]