Fug Madness 2019, Round One Continues: Get Ready for Rita Ora

First! A word about the rules: The photos we show aren’t the ONLY ones in consideration; just a representative sample of everything worn from after the Oscars in 2018, all the way through the Oscars that just finished (so, March 6, 2018, to Feb 26, 2019). Polls close after roughly 24 hours. Vote on any device, as often as you want to or can. Do you need a refresher on how this works? The Fug Madness FAQ is here for you.

PSA: Click on the link where applicable to hop to that match. Herein:

(1) RITA ORA v. (16) TARA REID · (8) LINDSEY VONN v. (9) SUKI WATERHOUSE · (5) EVANGELINE LILLY v. (12) EMMA STONE · (4) KATE BECKINSALE v. (13) VICTORIA JUSTICE

(1) RITA ORA v. (16) TARA REID

LORD ALIVE, Rita Ora came out a LOT this year. You guys, I think she might take it all. (Though, of course, she’s got a long way to go to get there, and Tara Reid is the first piece of chum; brilliantly, if she gets to the Elite 8, she may meet Jennifer Lopez there, and they both wore these boots.) Her archives for this year alone are pages! I’m going to give you a taste, but don’t forget that Rita wore this very profound suit with a…tail? And this EXTREME SWEATER DRESS. And this giant paper-mache/feather shrug/train?? And like EVERYTHING in this slideshow. And also OMG THIS. And whatever insanely crazy thing is happening here?! OR THIS THING.  You guys need to know that this is just…the tip of the Rita-Oraberg.

Don’t forget this thing:

Or this:

Or THIS:

OR THIS:

OR THISSSSSS:

OR !!!!!!!!

I feel like I’m just going to start fully communicating with merely punctuation now:

I mean…I could have showed you like 1000 more looks. Rita has a deep sartorial bench; I think she’s going to be hard to beat. But that is ultimately up to you! First up to try to take her down? Tara Reid, who didn’t come out this much but when she did, it was NOT GREAT:

This was likewise confusing:

This was…of a piece:

This was for the Today Show and it feels like a lot for morning:

But is it enough of a lot? That is up to you:

(8) LINDSEY VONN v. (9) SUKI WATERHOUSE

Lindsey Vonn is an amazing athlete, of that there is no doubt. And she also made some powerful life choices in terms of what she was going to wear on various red carpets this year.  I…must be honest and say that I think she might benefit from a new stylist. This, for example, is not good:

This is VERY short:

I’ve never said, “that should be a romper” before, but I think that should be a romper.

This looks rather more like spitballs than is perhaps ideal?

This looks like snow, so at least it’s thematic….???

SO MANY QUESTION MARKS with this one. At least this just makes me laugh. These sort of dueling hip slits always makes the lady in question look like she’s mid-Hulk Out:

And, finally, we’ve got this number, which at least is cheerful in hue?

Speaking of cheerful, I was delighted to be reminded that Suki Price Waterhouse Coopers left the house quite a bit this year, and she brought her A game. For example, this macrame confection is an experience:

This is just a pile of tinsel; this is just a shirt! This is Laura Ashley’s fever dream; this looks like a lost costume from a poorly done Camelot reboot; this so very very very shiny.

This is from Two-Face For Kohl’s:

The shoes here hurt my face:

And this has made Jared Leto incredibly jealous:

Time to make some hard choices:

(5) EVANGELINE LILLY v. (12) EMMA STONE

The battle of the Es, as literally not one person is calling this match-up! I had forgotten, until I sat down to deal with this, that the new Ant-Man movie had come out in 2018 — it feels like that happened 200 years ago. Evangeline Lilly is one of those people who REALLY only comes out when she’s got something to promote, which means we hadn’t really seen her since the first Ant-Man movie. (I think she lives in Hawaii, actually.) She worked with Law Roach this go-round, and I LOVE Law, but my own reviews were mixed. Like, this was interesting, but I think some of his other more famous clients — Celine Dion, Anne Hathaway, Zendaya — might have carried it off more. I’m not sure that anyone could make THIS work, to be honest.

No one could carry this off, either, I fear, and this belt-tastic look is the reason her seed is so high:

This is goofy — it’s a LOT of denim. AKA, it’s ALL denim:

This is super twee (it actually might have worked on Emma Stone, though; we’ll discuss):

And this is….more sheer than you want it to be, and also would have worked better on Celine, frankly:

Emma, on the other hand, just completed her first Fug Madness season whilst under the thumb of Louis Vuitton, and it’s been….eh.

Like, this is just….eh. This is meh. This is a resounding feh.  (I did like her Oscars gown.)  This is like….fine. This was straight-up middle-aged and I AM middle-aged, so I SHOULD KNOW. (This was great, though, and I loved how kooky this is.)

At the time, we said of this the rollicking endorsement, “it’s not TERRIBLE?” (Heather also made a Brian Boitano joke that I’ll never stop loving, so thanks for that, Emma.)

These shorts look like diapers, and AGAIN as I said at the time: Who goes to LV for shorts?!

Even the rich people of my acquaintance go to J.Crew. I guess the people who go to LV for shorts are the people who have agreed to wear LV in public in exchange for money?

I literally called this “meh” when I wrote about it previously and I stand by that:

HARD PASS:

(4) KATE BECKINSALE v. (13) VICTORIA JUSTICE

Ah, Kate Becksinsale! A woman who has proven remarkably good at keeping herself in the public eye, even when she’s not promoting something. That sounds mean, but I actually really like Kate Beckinsale, so I’m honestly just kind impressed.

Despite liking her very much as an actor, I am not HUGELY wild about how she’s been clothing herself….although I guess that IS how she’s keeping herself in the mix, so maybe I should stop complaining? But the fact remains that, for example, this is hideous and makes me scream and clutch my face like Kevin in Home Alone.

I also don’t want to go too long without reminding you of THIS:

This was typical (it’s not HEINOUS but it is kinda Hailee Steinfeld):

I FORGOT THIS ONE HAPPENED OMG:

Remember the time she went full cape?

And this was a Marchesa that I don’t think was worth wearing Marchesa:

There is also, of course, her habit of dressing like she’s on a nighttime soap set in the 80s, which, let’s be honest, I wish she was. (Scroll down for this one, with bonus Soap Opera Sleeve.)

Victoria Justice can even be on the show, as her sassy step-daughter who is out to ruin her. (Don’t worry, eventually they band together to ruin a man. She’ll do it in this! Oh, wait, no, I’m sorry. She’ll do it in THIS. Or maybe in THIS. Like Beckinsale, Victoria Justice also loves a sleeve.)

I’m sorry to do this to you, but get ready to scream:

That was…a real choice someone made.

As was this. I LITERALLY thought she was Miranda Kerr here, which honestly made the outfit feel like it made some sense:

The color of this is next one is great, so it’s a shame that the rest of the dress…doesn’t exist:

I don’t mean to sound like the old lame crone that I am, but isn’t it starting to feel more interesting if you DON’T show your undercrackers?

BIG FINISH: