2020 bjork bracket-1584919195
Jump to the polls: (11) Julia Fox v. (2) Dascha Polanco · (7) Camila Cabello v. (15) Kelly Rowland

(11) Julia Fox v. (2) Dascha Polanco

Julia Fox made the most of her press tour for Uncut Gems to get in here — and beat Queen Celine Dion along the way. But can she bring down Dascha, a perennial Fug Madness powerhouse, like the Duke of Fug Madness? Time to find out. This is a very strong opener from Dascha:

Klarna STYLE360 NYFW Hosts S by Serena Williams Runway Show

It does look fun, if nothing else.

This is Julia, paying her Sheer Catsuit Dues to make sure we don’t disqualify her from competition:

GQ Men of the Year Celebration, Arrivals, The West Hollywood EDITION Hotel, Los Angeles, USA - 05 Dec 2019

My favorite part is how that looks like she’s got a sweater tied around her waist for modesty. And that it actually also encompasses her feet. How does she pee? An evergreen Fug Madness query.

Also an evergreen question: WHAT IS THIS?

Rihanna`s 2nd Annual Savage X Fenty Show During NYFW

She even looks as if she’s regretting it, and when an ensemble can blunt Dascha’s nature elan — that takes some work.

This is blunting MY elan:

Netflix Hosts The After Party For The Premiere Of

And also harshing my buzz, to be frank.

Dascha has a LOT of looks this year that she seems to be regretting. She doesn’t seem that thrilled with her situation here, either:

The Worldwide Editors of Harper`s Bazaar Celebrate Icons by Carine Roitfeld

Who talked her into all these hats, also? That person has to be rethinking some things right now. (Or perhaps Dascha is rethinking their advice, if nothing else.)

This seems obligatory:

'Uncut Gems' premiere, Arrivals, Toronto International Film Festival, Canada - 09 Sep 2019

(Great lipstick, though. From the waist up, it’s great!)

This one sort of makes me want to lie down. It just…took a series of turns:

Celebrity Sightings In New York City - September 05, 2019

This sleeveless leather jumpsuit now almost looks reasonable, although please acknowledge that I just typed the words, “sleeveless leather jumpsuit.”

ELLE x Ferragamo Hollywood Rising Party - Arrivals

While we’re talking about trousers:

'When They See Us' TV show premiere, Arrivals, Apollo Theater, New York, USA - 20 May 2019

YES, the front of that is a skirt. It’s like the Two-Face of outfits, a joke I definitely made when we covered it the first time.

This seems like it might have been designed by a super-villian, now that I think about it:

L'Avenue At Saks Celebrates First Anniversary

Perhaps this, too, is from the Atelier of  Lux Luthor:

Vanity Fair's 2019 Best Dressed List

It’s a…lot. All of this is a lot. The world is a lot. Everything is just…a lot.

Before you vote, behold Julia’s archives; here (speaking of “a lot,” because this is just the tip of the iceberg) are Dascha’s.

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Julia Fox (15%, 673 Votes)
  • Dascha Polanco (85%, 3,897 Votes)

Total Voters: 4,570

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(7) Camila Cabello v. (15) Kelly Rowland

Kelly is here after a surprise upset of 2-seed Laura Dern, but will her Cinderella run continue? She’ll need to get through fellow singer Camila Cabello first. Spoiler: This match-up has a crazy lot of ruffles and sleeves in it, from both women. It’s apt that we’re in the Bjork bracket, given that these similar looks have a real Swan Dress vibe to them:


Did you say RUFFLES?

2020 Roc Nation THE BRUNCH - Inside

Camila will take those ruffles and up the ante with SLEEVES.

1st Annual Time 100 Next Gala, Arrivals, Pier 17, New York, USA - 14 Nov 2019

And Kelly will take those sleeves and bring you…MORE SLEEVES:

'Jumanji: The Next Level' film premiere, Arrivals, TCL Chinese Theatre, Los Angeles, USA - 09 Dec 2019

And Camila will take those More Sleeves and make them in SO MUCH MORE SLEEVE-INESS:

iHeartRadio Jingle Ball, Arrivals, Madison Square Garden, New York, USA - 13 Dec 2019

Truly this entire match is nothing more than a sleeve-off at this point:

Miss America, Uncasville, USA - 19 Dec 2019

“OKAY,” Camila says.  “Sleeves are over. No sleeves. SLEEVELESS. But what have you got in the skirt arena?”

62nd Annual Grammy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 26 Jan 2020

“Nothing skirt-related, but I do have some pants that are stretching the definition of trousers:”

Wearable Art Gala, Arrivals, Barker Hangar, Santa Monica, Los Angeles - 01 Jun 2019

That’s a big finish, yes — but, of course, that’s not all! Here are Camila’s archives; here are Kelly’s.

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Camila Cabello (42%, 1,873 Votes)
  • Kelly Rowland (58%, 2,622 Votes)

Total Voters: 4,495

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