Fug Madness 2020: A Newbie, a Veteran, a Child of Destiny and More

Jump to the polls: (11) Julia Fox v. (2) Dascha Polanco · (7) Camila Cabello v. (15) Kelly Rowland

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(11) Julia Fox v. (2) Dascha Polanco

Julia Fox made the most of her press tour for Uncut Gems to get in here — and beat Queen Celine Dion along the way. But can she bring down Dascha, a perennial Fug Madness powerhouse, like the Duke of Fug Madness? Time to find out. This is a very strong opener from Dascha:

It does look fun, if nothing else.

This is Julia, paying her Sheer Catsuit Dues to make sure we don’t disqualify her from competition:

My favorite part is how that looks like she’s got a sweater tied around her waist for modesty. And that it actually also encompasses her feet. How does she pee? An evergreen Fug Madness query.

Also an evergreen question: WHAT IS THIS?

She even looks as if she’s regretting it, and when an ensemble can blunt Dascha’s nature elan — that takes some work.

This is blunting MY elan:

And also harshing my buzz, to be frank.

Dascha has a LOT of looks this year that she seems to be regretting. She doesn’t seem that thrilled with her situation here, either:

Who talked her into all these hats, also? That person has to be rethinking some things right now. (Or perhaps Dascha is rethinking their advice, if nothing else.)

This seems obligatory:

(Great lipstick, though. From the waist up, it’s great!)

This one sort of makes me want to lie down. It just…took a series of turns:

This sleeveless leather jumpsuit now almost looks reasonable, although please acknowledge that I just typed the words, “sleeveless leather jumpsuit.”

While we’re talking about trousers:

YES, the front of that is a skirt. It’s like the Two-Face of outfits, a joke I definitely made when we covered it the first time.

This seems like it might have been designed by a super-villian, now that I think about it:

Perhaps this, too, is from the Atelier of  Lux Luthor:

It’s a…lot. All of this is a lot. The world is a lot. Everything is just…a lot.

Before you vote, behold Julia’s archives; here (speaking of “a lot,” because this is just the tip of the iceberg) are Dascha’s.

(7) Camila Cabello v. (15) Kelly Rowland

Kelly is here after a surprise upset of 2-seed Laura Dern, but will her Cinderella run continue? She’ll need to get through fellow singer Camila Cabello first. Spoiler: This match-up has a crazy lot of ruffles and sleeves in it, from both women. It’s apt that we’re in the Bjork bracket, given that these similar looks have a real Swan Dress vibe to them:

Did you say RUFFLES?

Camila will take those ruffles and up the ante with SLEEVES.

And Kelly will take those sleeves and bring you…MORE SLEEVES:

And Camila will take those More Sleeves and make them in SO MUCH MORE SLEEVE-INESS:

Truly this entire match is nothing more than a sleeve-off at this point:

“OKAY,” Camila says.  “Sleeves are over. No sleeves. SLEEVELESS. But what have you got in the skirt arena?”

“Nothing skirt-related, but I do have some pants that are stretching the definition of trousers:”

That’s a big finish, yes — but, of course, that’s not all! Here are Camila’s archives; here are Kelly’s.