Fug Madness 2020: Can Katy Topple Rita?

Jump to the polls:

(1) Rita Ora v. (8) Katy Perry · (5) Emily Ratajkowski v. (13) Tove Lo

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(1) RITA ORA vs. (8) KATY PERRY

Katy and Rita have never faced each other. There was one year, 2018, in which they almost did, but Dascha Polanco knocked Rita out first — only to then be eliminated by, yes, Katy Perry. But Rita is stronger now. Rita has been training. Rita is a finely honed fugthlete itching for her first gold medal, and Katy is more of an outlier. And if indeed Katy doesn’t make it through this fight, she’d like you to remember her thusly:

She’d like to teach the world to fug in perfect harmony. She’d like to buy the world a hug, a fug-wrapped loving squeeze.

Katy is obviously intentionally quirky a lot of the time, but that doesn’t have to mean things turn weird.

That slit is… odd! The shoulder gaps are… strange! The purse is… what IS happening with purse? It looks like one of my school’s silent auction baskets, wrapped in vellum.

Katy also likes a major sleeve (she’s not alone this year on that front), and if possible, in a loud pattern. She had this yellow and pink polka-dot number — with marabou shoes, to boot — and also this:

She also went confusingly costumey for American Idol. Once, for its Disney week, she dressed up IN FULL as Ursula the Sea Witch, which was hilarious, but also completely random because literally no one else did anything. THIS is very Eliza Doolittle Goes To The Races. And I guess here she’s being a fortune teller?

And of course, there’s the Met chandelier situation:

It made me giggle. Like I said, if this is Katy’s last stand, let’s make it a cheerful one. But it might not be! You for example, might not mind Rita Ora’s collection of outfits. Katy Perry ABSOLUTELY would love this one:

It is LOUD and it is BONKERS, but it’s a good mood.

I’m trying, where I can, to show you photos that weren’t in the previous entries, but that’s not always possible. Rita, thankfully, has a bottomless supply. Like this:

It’s like a gorilla has put its hands on her shoulders.

I couldn’t resist replying this old classic:

I always think of it as The Maze Dress. The stomach cutout is one thing — by the way, those abs are airbrushed, right? — but the shin sleeves that appear to hook to her shoes are something else. Are they PART of her shoes, or just an accessory that can be connected at will, like a headset with your Xbox remote?

You’ve seen this before, too:

I think this is her defensive posture. She senses Katy encroaching on her territory and her toxic spines have sprung up.

I also couldn’t resist re-running the denim boots:

Each one appears to be made of a leg. Rita, I cannot believe we are having this talk, but: PANTS ARE NOT BOOTS.

She also deployed a catsuit made of strands of sparkles, and a bathing suit, essentially, as well as one of her signature see-through piecemeal lace ensembles. She also had a real moment with eyewear. First, the glasses that look like swim goggles:

And then, my friends, these that I believe are new to you on this site, which made me giggle so hard:

Rita, I never think you can surprise me anymore, and then you do anyway.

Archives: Rita, Katy

 

(5) EMILY RATAJKOWSKI vs. (13) TOVE LO

You have seen all of what Tove Lo has to offer from the past year. (And, a reminder, based on what I’ve seen in some comments: The past year is all we’re considering! The day after the 2019 Oscars, through Feb 10, 2020.) Also, sometimes I misread Tove Lo as T. Lo, and I love imagining our pals Tom and Lorenzo being in Fug Madness because they went out on a book tour wearing a yellow sports bra and matching-ish denim:

And Tevas. NEVER forget the Tevas.

She loves denim:

And see-through neon, and tube tops. And… skulls?

And boob presentation:

I guess she’s REALLY excited about that bra?

And about this one:

Those pants are a real find. I’m pretty sure they’re made of Glad Press-n-Seal Wrap.

Emily, in the grand tradition of a lot of people at the Met Gala, turned up at the Camp themed one dressed in something that made way more sense for the previous year’s Catholic Imagery theme:

It also creates the illusion that her top is only being held on by the wings that are affixed to her ears.

Emily is very proud of her abs. And I get it! I don’t begrudge it! But sometimes it feels like she thinks it’s her only quality:

And accordingly, many of her outfits are chiefly made of string.

I also ONLY JUST NOW noticed her sandals are tied around the outside of her pants. She’s doing all KINDS of questionable things with string, then.

That dress is boring and predictable, but also, the bandeau top can’t seem to decide how it wants to be tucked (or not tucked).

Emily is also the special someone who will belt a wrestling singlet.

The problem with her sometimes is, when she HAD fabric, she’s apparently unclear what to do with it:

I get it. Life is hard. Keep calm and abs on, I guess?

Archives: Emrata, Tove Lo