Listen to your face. It’s trying to tell you something.
This just looks so snuggly:
It has cute stripes and basically looks like a giant blanket with sleeves and pockets. Can it be coat season yet? Can it, can it? Please? THINK OF THE COAT SLIDESHOWS, MOTHER NATURE.
Also, thank you for tolerating our sleep deprivation this week and probably, let’s face it, the months prior to it. Someday hopefully you will love The Royal We and feel that it was all worth it. I PRAY. But for real: We love you, Fug Nation. And we really appreciate you.
This looks like an unfinished prototype for a Disney villain. She’s called Weeping Beauty, and she’s a hybrid of Kim Kardashian, Rihanna, and the Black Swan. It’s set inside a girl’s wig closet as she has an existential crisis about why her bangs look like a child sawed through them with a spoon. It’s going to be epic. Angelina Jolie is composing the score.
I can’t tell if she’s wincing, or raising the roof.
Let’s hope it’s both: She’s wincing, and then raising a roof so she can crawl under it and close the door and hide inside, rather than be in public in this body sleeve. It’s like Ed Hardy started designing companion jumpsuits for a furniture company, for those who wish to be camouflaged upon their own divan.
Okay, I do have to start out by acknowledging that her boob IS trying to make a break for it:
And yeah, it’s Sheerer Than I Would Like On A Lot of People And I’m Not Usually Into One Sleeve But…Whatever, I’m Old, Do Whatever You Want Rita Ora. It fits so nicely (other than the boob) and, well, it’s SO SPARKLY and glam and her face looks great. I’VE GONE SOFT.
I don’t know how else to say it, so I’ll be blunt: You have WAY too much crap on your hands, child. Fingers are important. Don’t impede their function. LET YOUR PHALANGES DANCE.
[Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, AKM-GSI]