2020 bjork bracket-1584919195
Jump to the polls: (1) Kim Kardashian v. (8) Winnie Harlow · (6) Laverne Cox v. (4) Naomi Campbell

(1) Kim Kardashian v. (8) Winnie Harlow

This one might be a closer race than you’d think, so please strap in.

Y’all, Kim was OBSESSED with two things this year. Catsuits, and snakeskin. Where on earth did she come up with this? WHO KNOWS? But check it out:

Celebrity Sightings In Paris - March 5, 2019

I respect that her commitment even expanded to her shoes.

This is sincerely deranged:

Kim Kardashian Outside of Hermes in Lizard Skin Jacket

But is it more deranged than THIS? That’s a real Sophie’s Choice:

Kim Kardashian Returns to The Ritz Hotel in Paris

Please note her shoe/tights scenario, which is bonkers.  How does she pee in this? How does she pee in anything?

I appreciate how perplexed everyone looks in this photo, too:

Kim Kardashian out and about, Paris, France - 06 Mar 2019

Me too, guys. ME TOO. Perplexed!!!

Remember what I said about snakeskin? I wasn’t kidding:

Dior Men's Show, Backstage, Pre-Fall 2020, Miami, USA - 03 Dec 2019

(Is that some weird reference to the apparently STILL on-going Kanye/Taylor tiff? Because I am deeply over hearing about that. We’re in a pandemic. WHO CARES.)

Kim is hard to top, but Winnie is actually a very strong competitor. Just this alone is quite intense:

Winnie Harlow Birthday at Swan

I don’t even understand it from a logistical standpoint. It’s….not really complete garments, is it?

I do admire Winnie for seemingly almost using her vitiligo as part of her look. She is a very beautiful person. But this is VERY sheer indeed:

Oh Mercy Premiere at the 72nd Cannes Film Festival

I feel like Kim would have worn this next one, if she could have gotten her hands on it. And might still!

Kim Kardashian West After Party, Met Gala, New York, USA - 06 May 2019

But Winnie, at least, offered a more varied selection of ensembles. For example, this looks like she is wearing a Muppet — which is also a serious crime, I assume you:

CFDA Fashion Awards, Arrivals, Brooklyn Museum, New York, USA - 03 Jun 2019

And holy cow, this is SHORT. Even for Cannes!

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood Premiere at the Cannes Film Festival

And this is truly perplexing on a logistical level to me:

Harrods & SHOWstudio Present the 2019 Fashion Film Awards

Why do I have so many logistical questions in this round? And is it only going to get worse? Probably. Before you vote, please know, these are just the tips of these people’s respective icebergs! We’ve got Kim’s hugely insane suit, and her 90s bootcut leather trousers, among other things; and Winnie brought us this TERRIFYING thing, and this crotch flap, AT LEAST.

Also: Here are Kim’s archives; here are Winnie’s.

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Kim Kardashian (58%, 2,760 Votes)
  • Winnie Harlow (42%, 1,991 Votes)

Total Voters: 4,751

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6) Laverne Cox v. (4) Naomi Campbell

Laverne had a very bizarre year, you guys, especially for a person with such a strong record of stellar looks in her past. This is a mess from head to toe:

'Can You Keep a Secret' film premiere, After Party, ArcLight Cinemas, Los Angeles, USA - 28 Aug 2019

None of that adds up to a complete outfit (and the wet hair look has GOT to go; if it does Laverne no favors, who will it favor?).

Somewhere in Calabasas, Britney Spears is pretty excited about this bodysuit — but I assume she is the only one:

The Paley Honors: A Gala Tribute To LGBTQ+

I cannot stress to you enough that Laverne wore this to a Lakers game. A LAKERS GAME:

Celebrities At The Los Angeles Lakers Game

The idea of sitting down at Staples in this, even before it was a hotbed of Coronavirus, just makes me have a panic attack.

And then, of course, there was this:

'Charlie's Angels' film premiere, Arrivals, Regency Village Theatre, Los Angeles, USA - 11 Nov 2019

I just….cannot.

Can Naomi even compete with that?


Fashion For Relief Gala

Can we talk about these sleeves? Because they are absolutely beyond. Think of the snacks you could put in there. So many snacks! (Don’t ask why she’s wearing sunglasses at night. It’s Naomi Campbell.)

Celebrity Sightings In Paris - March 4, 2019

Naomi is almost managing to work this next one, but not quite and ONLY because she’s Naomi Campbell. Please just behold this entire experience:

Fashion Trust Arabia Prize - Awards Ceremony

How is ANYONE in the bracket EVER peeing? Maybe they’re all just massively dehydrated — literally, I mean, although perhaps also figuratively.

I sort of think SOMEONE else in this bracket might covet this look. Probably Winnie Harlow, but maybe also Laverne:

Kim Kardashian West After Party, Met Gala, New York, USA - 06 May 2019

Comparatively, this is almost sweet — if also dated:

Naomi Campbell Fashion For Relief pop-up, London, UK - 26 Nov 2019

Keep on keeping on, Naomi.

Again, this is merely an amuse bouche of their offerings. There’s also Laverne’s Sheer/Wet Hair Times Two, and this sequined crotchy-thing, while Naomi gave us a dress that looks exactly like my toilet brush and this HIDEOUS FIASCO.

And before you vote, make sure you look at Laverne’s archives, and Naomi’s!

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Laverne Cox (71%, 3,188 Votes)
  • Naomi Campbell (29%, 1,273 Votes)

Total Voters: 4,461

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