Fug Madness 2019, Round Two: Can Dua Lipa Keep Up Her Winning Streak?

Did you miss Round One? Do you still need a bracket? 

Want to jump right to Winnie Harlow vs. Chloe Grace Moretz? Click here!

(1) DUA LIPA v. (8) PEYTON LIST

There is one thing that we’ve said about basically ALL four women in this bracket and it is this: “Her head looks GREAT but….” And it is particularly true of Dua Lipa, whose hair and makeup is often PERFECT while the rest of her is, well…..

This is…an experience. I’d make a Project Runway joke but it’s sort of insulting to Project Runway.

The glam team did MASTERFUL work here, too, but it’s hard to draw focus from a SPARKLY HOUNDSTOOTH BRA. (Sparkly Houndstooth Bra is my new indie band. We’re very peppy!)

And, again, her entire head is great here, which is I guess why her look is totally unfinished from the waist down. They ran out of time:

Like, literally ran out of time to actually construct the rest of her skirt.

And her hair and makeup is, yet again, quite polished here — I love this sharp bob! — but WHAT IS THE REST OF THIS?

It’s like the 80s ate a portion of A Chorus Line that had gone bad, and then barfed it up all over her.

This is also VERY 80s. OMG, I loved Dynasty too but WOW:

Honestly, that mostly just needs pants. There’s a reason Look Into Pants is one of our Frequently Uttered Phrases. But seriously…look into them? Just occasionally. Except…

Not THESE pants. These pants are terribly underwhelming. For someone whose personal style is so vibrant in my imagination, Dua actually sometimes drifted into Blandy Blandersonville:

It’s QUITE difficult to wear something that is simultaneously bland AND sheer, so….congrats?

Finally, I leave you with this:

Speaking of sheers, Peyton List LOVED a sheer this past Fug Madness season:

Embed from Getty Images

I could just…present a SERIES of sheer without comment. Like:

Sheer!

SHEER!

SHEER SHEER SHEER

SHEEEEEEER. That also has the benefit of being literally one of the worst things I’ve seen on a human body all year, so…again, congrats?

Archives: Dua Lipa, Peyton List

(8) WINNIE HARLOW v. (4) CHLOE GRACE MORETZ

OH MY GOD, speaking of sheers! Winnie LOVES THE SHEERS. We’ve had an interesting conversation of late about how she might be, at least in some of these, be using the sheer aspect of her gowns as a way to highlight her vitiligo, and embrace it as a beautiful thing (which it is!). I can certainly buy that in certain instances, but I also suspect that sometimes she wears what she wears because she, like many a model in this world, LOVES A SHEER.

This is, technically, not totally even an entire outfit?

Naturally, when we’re on the topic of sheers, our friends at Dior are like, “HELLO CAN I GET IN HERE! HELLO! HELLO, I AM RIGHT HERE!”

I am sort of sorry I already used my “only write the word SHEER” conceit on Peyton List, because technically it also applies to Winnie:

“‘Sheer’ backwards is ‘reehs,’ no, that doesn’t mean anything,” is a thing I just muttered to myself. THIS is why we started called sheer clothing “pizza” — because we got tired of talking about it, so ubiquitous was it, and we decided we’d rather chat about Italian carbs:

That’s honestly just undercrackers and a very complicated swimsuit cover-up, the sort of thing Lisa Rinna would wear on RHoBH.

This would have been gorgeous had it been LINED. I say that so often I feel like I need to write a song about it and make it my karaoke go-to:

WE GET ITTTTTT:

Having said all that, her Oscars gown was not sheer and it was ALSO Not Great, so maybe someone’s stylish just needs a long trip to Bora Bora to rejuvenate her creative process?

Speaking of stylists, I think CGM got one toward the end of the year….but not soon enough to save her from this particular Fug Madness. (Next year should be interesting for her.) Like all of the women in this bracket, Chloe’s hair and face has looked GREAT lately — her glam squad is GOOD — but then from the neck down, it’s often like ??????

For example:

Those pants are SO CUTE until you get to the fluffy cuffs? And this is okay…until you realize that it looks like she’s got a third leg with an unquenchable love of florals trying to escape from her skirt:

Chloe also risked her share of the sheers, don’t worry. DO NOT become concerned that possibly someone in Fug Madness went a whole year without wearing something unaccountably see-through:

Sigh. Those sleeves are dumb.

Speaking of stuff that I think is dumb, we’ve got this look, which is SUCH a terrible print and which almost everyone wore (made the more egregious by the fact that her head looks extra great here):

This caused me to make such a face that I might need to send her my bill for my Botox:

Finally, I also am rendered somewhat speechless by THIS thing that happened to her:

How can a dress make your head look small????? Discuss amongst yourselves. Vote first, though.

Archives: Winnie Harlow, Chloe Grace Moretz