Fug File: Unfug It Up

Golden Globes Unfug or Fab: Kate Walsh in Naeem Khan

I love a floral, and I LOVE Naeem Khan, so I wanted to fall for this.

Kate Walsh Golden Globes 2015

But… does it lose interest in itself? All that lovely embroidery seems to end a banal, snowy blah. There’s a weight to how it finishes — the fabric equivalent of a heavy sigh. How would you fix it? Keep the flowers contained above the waist? Simply reshape the bottom? Or is it the one sleeve that tips things weirdly? Or, and this is ENTIRELY possible, am I totally off my tree and this is perfection and I should be shot out of a cannon onto a dumber planet?

[Photo: Getty]


Unfugs or Fabs: Julianne Moore in Alexander Wang and Alexander McQueen

Julianne is apparently super into Alexanders right now. But is it advisable? You decide.

Exhibit A: The McQueen.

Julianne Moore

I get that this is a casual dress for a casual Q&A, so there’s not much reason to work up a head of steam about it. But the way the top is designed to look like the world’s dreariest Talbot’s sweater set bums me out. Do not go full Talbots on a full McQueen budget. It’s like paying restaurant prices for a quarter-pounder.

Next up: the Wang, which is more interesting.

wang it with me


Unfug or Fab: Elizabeth Banks in Leonard

I love that she always brings with her the spirit of Effie Trinket, without going full cracky-bananas on us. She gets how to use seasoning.

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[Photos: Fame/Flynet]


Unfug or Fab: Kristen Stewart

Let’s start with what’s working: Her head, and her feet.

Kristen Stewart

I think this is brave new ground here, even. K.Stew cleaved to clunky pumps for such a long time; I feel like we hardly ever got an open-toe show and a vixenish pedicure, and now we have both. I love it. She looks really self-assured — still with her edge, but confident rather than miserable. It’s a plus. As Madonna said, we made it through the wilderness. Somehow, we made it through.

The fabric of the dress really works for me as well, but surprise, surprise, the execution leaves me cold. It’s the dress equivalent of an older person masquerading as a whipper-snapper: Pairing that top and those cuffs and that black translucent fabric — too much of it to be fresh — with a mini-skirt feels like a shortcut to youth. A cheat. I want to take that material and hand it to Roksanda Ilincic or Naeem Khan or even Oscar de la Renta’s people and see what they could do that’s either funkier, or more elegant. This one is suspended in purgatory.

Before you vote, here is some shoe porn:

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Unfug or Fab: Hailee Steinfeld

Every time I glance at this thing, I have to do a double-take on whether it’s off-the-shoulder.

Hailee Steinfeld

It’s the type of thing Forever 21 would knock off — er, pay homage to — by actually MAKING it off-the-shoulder and then sewing a t-shirt into it. Sometimes I think Forever 21 is what Donna Martin would have done with Now Wear This!, if she had made it far enough. It would be all fast-fashion, and all basically one-ply and itchy.

Anyway, enough about that old sadsack. Let’s talk Steinfeld. I do love this orangey-red, and I don’t even know that I HATE it with the pale pink — it reminds me of this Prada on Audrey Tautou, from Cannes 2013 — but the cut and shades create an optical illusion that throws me off my already-shambolic game. So let’s get tweaksy: Would you shorten it? Would you ACTUALLY make it off-the-shoulder? Would you try a different color up there? Or would you leave it? Throw in a more orange lipstick? And what of the shoes? All of which is also then considered through the lens of her being a 17-year old girl, so she’s careening right into the “Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman” territory that Britney so movingly poeticized. Is the length too adult? Or is it the perfect amount of sophistication for someone who, by all appearances, is not steering herself into Gomez City or Mileytown?

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[Photo: Getty]


Unfug It Up: Juliette Binoche in Fausto Puglisi

This bob is oppressive on her. I hope it’s for a role, because I think it’s aging her.

Juliette Binoche

However, I embrace that skirt enthusiastically. I just wish the top were a little less “I am the stern French headmistress of an academy of contemporary dance.” Black turtlenecks can be severe. So let’s redesign the bodice. Is it as simple as being a short-sleeve turtleneck, or a long-sleeve scoopneck? My preference for these things tends to be a deep, narrow vee, but if I know Fug Nation — AND I DO — y’all can come up with something more creative than I just did. So here is your canvas. Allez!

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


Unfug It Up: Jess Weixler in Prada

Let’s take this in stages, slowly zooming in on her face. Because in the end, that’s the best part.

[Photos: Splash]