Fug File: Unfug It Up

Unfug It Up: January Jones

I like the pattern on this, which I am calling Electric Feather.

january jones fox upfront

But the way it’s draped and cut… I’m calling it Frump & Fold. Don’t let it happen to you.

[Photo: Getty]


Unfug or Fab: Kiernan Shipka

Obviously, this child is made of magic dust.

kiernan shipka nylon young hollywood party

But sometimes it takes more than a supernatural sprinkle, and I’ll be honest, this outfit looks more like someone’s interior-design inspiration board than an actual cohesive garment. For ME, a single spaghetti strap, a napkin, some confetti, a corset that maybe used to be a sofa, and a stripy skirt mainly add up to taking two Advil and going back to bed. I don’t blame her for trying, but this science might be more advanced than even Cate Blanchett could crack. What would you do to streamline this into something worthy of our beloved Sally Draper? Or would you leave it because, like Bridget Jones, you love it just as it is?

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[Photo: Getty]


Unfug or Fab: Lena Dunham in Mary Katrantzou

I think Lena’s pixie cut looks better on the magazine cover than it does in life.

lena dunham variety power of women

But maybe it’s just that she needs a stronger lipstick. I can’t decide. As far as the outfit goes, the blue shoes are REALLY cute (and play off the back of the dress, which is solid, in that shade), and the pattern on the frock is funky too. I almost love it, but have reservations about whether the sleeve length is the best choice on her, and… Is it just me, or do those pixies work better on people with immaculate posture? I don’t mean that as a knock — I have terrible posture, from all this sitting and typing; it is what it is — but rather that having no hair basically means you have nowhere to hide, so even a fractional slump can end up looking much slouchier than it actually is. It’s a trick of physics or something, and that can drag down an outfit as fast as the garment itself.

Thoughts? Keep the cut, swap or tweak the dress? Keep the dress, plug in a wig? Take two lipsticks and call me in the morning? Discuss.

[Photo: Getty]


Unfug It Up: Jessica Chastain

You guys know I love a pattern.  HOWEVER:

Jameson Empire Awards 2015

Have I completely lost the plot or does she look vaguely upholstered in this? I mean, her head looks great and it’s certainly not a lost cause. In fact, I think it’s TOTALLY fixable. There just needs to be LESS of it. No sleeves, maybe, or a shorter skirt, or a v-neckline? Should we send someone over there with a pair of scissors? Hit me with your best styling suggestions.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


Unfug or Fab: Hailee Steinfeld in Dior

She’s probably the best person I can think of to give this a try, but surely nobody’s torso needs to be dressed as a Sizzler sneezeguard.

[Photos: Getty]


Unfug or Fab: Amanda Seyfried in Valentino

This actually as easily could’ve been a Well Played With Notes, but whatever. I’m in a voting frame of mind.

amanda seyfried while we're young premiere new york

That dress is so, so cute. I love it. Three enthusiastic thumbs up, with my fourth too paralyzed by longing to move.

But I don’t think I’d have done such a severe, tight updo. Amanda has the most glorious blonde hair, and if she’d let that stuff loose around her shoulders and smiled wide, we’d have bee in SERIOUS business. In every photo that I saw — or that’s come in so far, anyway — her only grin is tight-lipped at best. Maybe that’s because the hair is impeding the movement of her facial muscles, or something. Here’s a side view:

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Unfug or Fab: Taylor Swift in Julien Macdonald at the Elle Style Awards

Never let it be said that T.Swift isn’t savvy: She is in the UK to accept an Elle Style Award, and so she’s wearing a Welsh designer.

taylor swift elle style awards 2015

And this is pretty clearly an attempt to walk on the wilder side, especially on the heels of that exceedingly wholesome apple-pie Vogue photoshoot, where she and Karlie Kloss channeled their best Niki and Krissy Taylor impressions, as if it was YM and the year was 1992. I don’t think Taylor does anything that isn’t meticulously planned and whose effect is thoroughly mapped, and this must be to remind us all that she’s not JUST pop and love and light, but also in her mid-twenties and ready for us to take any forthcoming Dark Times Depicted In Song very seriously. I get it. She can’t just be one thing, but she also can’t go full Miley and start making sex toys out of My Little Pony memorabilia.

I just think the whole isn’t the sum of its parts here. What I like: the green, the dark pedicure, the shoes (more dramatic and less vintage-y than she normally picks), the slicked-back hair, for a change. What I could live with: the dress from the waist down, even though it’s still not my favorite; it’s the part I would salvage if we needed to keep something. What I am not sure about: the makeup. I do think I get the thinking that a purpley vampy lip would’ve taken this too costumey, but the lighter approach seems mismatched. What I really don’t like: the big exposed zipper, and the rest of the bodice. It sits too low, and the straps seem to draw attention to it rather than hold up the whole thing.

Have at it, Fug Nation. How would you adapt this, but still try to keep the more adult vibe Taylor clearly wants to create? Also, someone please introduce her to some more boys, because I think we’re all just about ready for her to have more song fodder. Failing that, she should just leaf through Us and write songs mining the pain of OTHER people’s breakups. I’m eager for her interpretation of, say, whether Common and Serena are having trouble letting each other go (called “Deuce (Advantage: You)”), or of course the pressing issue of Hilary Duff divorcing her Hockey Mike. She could call it “Penalty Box,” or “Two Minutes For Roughing (My Heart).”

[Photo: Getty]