First, thanks for your patience yesterday with our morning picture drama. I don’t know if the tech squad SOLVED the bug, exactly, but it seems to have flown away, at least? But please don’t miss any of that VMAs coverage, which included:
- Heidi Klum going back to her regularly scheduled programming
- Katy Perry looking pretty darn good, especially on the red carpet
- Lorde winning with a princess dress
- Pink being awesome
- Demi Lovato wore Hammer pants
- Paris Jackson is Dior’s latest victim
- Nicki Minaj’s catsuit was vaginally scary
- Jared Leto dressed as a discount magician/part-time neighborhood kook
- Yara Shahidi continued to be great
- Gal Gadot snuck in at the end, and if you think her alliterative initials and her alter ego ALSO being alliterative doesn’t please me, then YOU DON’T KNOW ME AT ALL
- Vanessa Hudgens’ dress forgot to stitch itself together
- Olivia Munn looked insane (except for her lipstick).
- Alessandra Ambrosio wore those Balmain shoetaloons
- Hailee Steinfeld looked just fine, thanks
- Millie Bobby Brown made a busy Rodarte look better
- The stage show included a wackadoo Lorde performance that may have been flu-induced, and Miley, and a flying car, and FIRE, and basically the VMAs should try harder to be Eurovision next time because it’s as close as we’re ever going to get
- Mel B has a message for you (and an anal eye)
- And: DUDES.
And now, let’s WRAP THIS THING UP.