Unfug It Up: Christina Hendricks


unfug-it-up

I don’t even know with her anymore, you guys.

I mean, this isn’t ACTIVELY TERRIBLE. I don’t feel like she’s punched me in the face with her life/choices. I am not personally offended by it. I mean, not very much. No more than I would be if the nice barista at my Coffee Bean inadvertently got my order wrong. This dress is very much not the end of the world. But nor is it a Whole New World (of Fabulousness). I think we can fix it. Me, I’m taking a couple of inches off the hem and putting a firm stop to the concept of needing a belt on your freaking neck. What about you?

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Comments (85):

  1. Orange Clouds
    0

    Didn’t even notice the belt details because the first question popping into my head was, “What is happening in her boob area??”

    • Michelle
      0

      To be fair, that question is sort of a given.

      The colour is nice. It just looks like a restructured bag, which is – as ever, with this beautiful woman – a shame.

      • Helen
        0

        Yeah, but usually they’re shoved up way high. Here, it looks like her bra isn’t supportive enough. That’s weird for her.

        The dress is okay with me, I just think – in another weird thing, for Hendricks – it’s too big!

    • Deborah Stultz
      0

      I agree. Her boobs need major foundation help. And there are professionals out there who can help with this! The girls definitely need to be hoisted up higher here. If they were, we might not all hate the belt so much. Right now boobs and waist just all run together. UGH.

      • Claire1
        0

        That was my FIRST thought too…. she needs a good bra and to stand up straighter.
        The belts, the dress…. what evs….. it’s the posture and the bad support that fug her here.

    • Scouse Helen
      0

      Mine too. I wondered why her nipples appeared to be repositioned in her armpits. I think she is just messing with our heads now.

  2. cdd
    0

    Disagree. This is actively terrible. I am nursing two black eyes because of her life choices. I

    • Kat
      0

      Hahaha. AMEN. We just need to come to the conclusion that she absolutely cannot dress herself. End of story.

      • Caroline
        0

        Seriously. Actively terrible are the exact words I would use to describe this outfit.

    • katkin74
      0

      Me 4. The color is nice on her. That is all to recommend it.

  3. Stephanie
    0

    A SLIGHT V neck would make all the difference to me!!!

    • Kristine
      0

      YES! A slight V-neck would make all the difference. And pleeeease get rid of the belts. All of them.

    • Lila
      0

      Agreed. Or maybe a boat neck. And definitely lose the belts that are not on her waist.

      • True_Blue
        0

        The belts have to go (and the one around the middle needs to be wider). The belt on her neck looks like a dog collar.

    • Kris
      0

      Girls with big boobs (myself included) should never ever wear crew necks or turtlenecks. It’s just a terrible look. Even if your boobs are technically in the right place, they still look low and your torso looks short and stumpy. Square neck, v-neck, scoop neck…all good.

  4. TonyG
    0

    This looks a little baggy up top. The two belts I actually like.

    I don’t mind the length of the dress, but the length of the arms need to be shortened.

    Also, though most don’t like a push-up bra on Ms. Hendricks, here she could have used one. Either that, or pull the dress down a bit so she doesn’t have that loose fit beneath her boobs.

    With her red hair and the blood red dress, I think I would have gone with either a lighter lip shade, a shade that was in the same color family as either her dress or her hair color.

  5. Sarah
    0

    The color is pretty..but belts on your wrists, waist and neck …why?

  6. Jacquilynne
    0

    Mostly I’m fine with the dress, including the neckbelt. I just think she needs a much better bra on underneath it.

  7. Maya
    0

    I just don’t get it with her. Why are BOOBS OUT OUT OUT and BOOBS HIDE HIDE HIDE the only available options? It’s like they’re either 2/3rds naked and hoisted up so high that she can rest her chin on them, or swaddled in unflattering turtlenecks. Her body is so magnificent, it makes me sad she can’t seem to figure out how to do it justice. Imagine if this dress had a gentle scoop neck. It could be so lovely.

    • Janis
      0

      Oh, yes. You never know: shocked or horrified? There has to be a better way.

      Though frankly, I don’t know it. I would dress her in the fashions of 1880.

  8. Meg
    0

    It’s not the hem that’s killing me as much as the neckline. I feel like she’s always either buttoned up to her eyeballs or all out there a la Chesty McGee. And as a fellow Chesty McGee let me say IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY. A V-neck. A gentle scoop-neck. A boat-neck. Anything but this.

  9. Maya
    0

    And actually, the skirt-hem-lower-than-your-boots thing is unflattering too, I think. WHERE ARE YOUR LEGS

  10. amy
    0

    New bra. Call the engineering department at MIT or Cal Tech and see what they can design, because the standard lingerie department just can’t meet the challenge.

    That’s kind of mean, and I hate to be mean, but that’s the only solution I see.

  11. pantsonfire
    0

    Here’s the crazy thing: Normally, her breasts are squeezed and hoisted to painful degrees. Does she just forgo her normal undergarments when she’s not showing cleavage?

    I like the color, but I don’t think there’s any saving this for her. If you look at the odd bagginess in places, it seems clear that this dress does not fit her and it would take significant tailoring to make it work. As has been said and will be said again, a moderate v-neck would probably be best on her, but I’m not one to throw down a definitive rule like “She can never wear crewnecks!” She might…it just requires the perfect execution (and undergarments). This will never get there.

  12. AM
    0

    Now comes the comments about how large-busted woman shouldn’t even look at or touch, let only wear a higher neckline, which I don’t think is necessarily true. But the necklace thingy is a bit much. Also, I’d even out the hem. Either make it the longer length in back or the shorter in front. Also, maybe a slighter better bra. But far from actively terrible.

    • Elle
      0

      Agreed! High necklines are not completely verboten for busty women, they just need to be deployed very carefully. One of CH’s most famous Mad Men dresses–the purple one with the pink scarf at the neck–had a high neckline similar to this one, and she looked smashing in it.

  13. char
    0

    Women with very large racks (I’m one of them) are way better off with V-necks than with crew or high necks. And yeah, the girls are riding a little too low.

  14. Bottle Ginger
    0

    If she’d taken some scissors and cut out a triangle on the chest (below the neck-belt and down to a bit of cleavage) all the leather straps would read as BDSM-sexy. In fact, anything sexy would have made the leather straps work, but wth the schoolmarmish cut they’re just … extra belts.

    And she needs to throw out that bra. High necklines can be very dangerous on busty women, they can create so much distance between neckline and nipple line that there can be an illusion of sag. An inadequate bra is disastrous under those circumstances.

    • Margrrret
      0

      Just popping in here with a great big YESSS!!! on both counts. A low cutout below the neckbelt and a better hoister-upper would fix everything.

  15. glee
    0

    Why do even bother with her? Lost cause. Next, please!

  16. jjdaddyo
    0

    Can we not arrange for Sofia Vergara to take Christine out for a coffee and explain the principles of dressing a body like that?

  17. Kat
    0

    This dress has the distinct smell of Hester Prynne.

    • mary lou bethune
      0

      That is good! She is so very pretty that it almost doesn’t matter what she wears but not quite. Her coloring is miraculous.

  18. Bella
    0

    It could be good, I think. Get rid of the neck and wrist belts; one at the waist is enough. Better bra to put those girls in the right position. V or scoop the neck and straighten the hem right below the knee.

  19. trixie
    0

    It’s hard to carry off a skinny belt when you’re large-chested; a wider belt (for some scale/balance), maybe contrasting cuffs for interest, shorter, and some sort of neckline. Again, when you have large breasts, necklines up to your chin are not flattering. Even a little bit of skin around the neck would have improved this immensely (read: no reason to veer to Xtina cleavage territory).

  20. Steph
    0

    We can send people to the moon, a guy can jump from space and skydive down the earth, we’re getting closer to cures for horrible diseases yet we CANNOT DRESS THIS WOMAN.

    The mind. It boggles.

  21. Eliza Bennett
    +1

    She is so pretty and this is so close. If only it fit , with 3/4 sleeves, and we could tell she had legs. I also wish it was just a little decollete-scoop or v, bc as everyone else has said, there is in fact a middle ground between “shh everybody I’m a girl with girl equipment, keep that on the downlow” turtlenecks and split-to-there dresses in the spirit of “RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!”

  22. Megan Ishler Anderson
    +1

    I would totally wear this outfit. That is not a compliment — I am a plump, middle-aged librarian.

    OTOH it looks like she has pinkeye. Feel better, Boobsy McPrynne!

    • WearingMyCrankyPants
      0

      Brilliantly put. I am totally calling her Boobsy McPrynne forever now. Thank you!

  23. Ashley
    0

    It would be SOOOOO much better if she had on a decent bra! It looks like her boobies have growths on the sides… She needs to get to Victoria’s Secret stat for a proper fitting. http://www.pinkjulepabroad.com

    • Eliza Bennett
      0

      I know from experience that after a certain range, VS doesn’t make your bra size. That’s Victoria’s real Secret. :(

      • Helen
        0

        True. I’m at their absolute top; if I gain five pounds, VS won’t be able to fit me.

        But there are plenty who will make lingerie custom, and Hendricks should be talking to one of them.

    • Liane
      0

      She is indeed spilling out the sides of her bra. She has side goosh. I have bras that do that but she can afford much better than the boxed bras at Wal-Mart that I’m stuck with. So there’s no excuse.

    • TereLiz
      0

      Last time I got fitted for a bra at VS they told me I was a 32C. Of course, none of the 32Cs they brought me fit, so I went back to my good old 34B. So I do not hold them to the highest standards when it comes to fitting.

  24. Ladyblahblah
    0

    At this point, my suggestion for her is to attend events via Skype.

  25. Lucasta
    0
  26. Fernanda Trupiano
    0

    I too, favor the Sofia Vergara-led (avec Salma Hayek & Helen Mirren) BOOBIntervention. Girlfriend needs help.

    Also, I’m surprised no one has mentioned the shoes. I am all for boots, but HONEY, NO!

  27. ellenderavenous
    0

    Is it wrong that I can only feel relief at being spared her boobs?

  28. Wade
    0

    What’s with the _real_ belt? An extra hole a good few inches away from the already there?

  29. Rita
    0

    She wouldn’t be able to buy bras at VS, but any reasonable department store would have them–Nordstrom’s takes care of my large rack quite nicely.

    Maybe if Sophia/Salma/Helen are too busy, Stacey and Clinton can come in and help her find clothes to fit.

    • Ladyblahblah
      0

      Yes, Rita, and those ladies in the Nordstrom lingerie department are masters of the lost art of bra fitting. It’s a little awkward to have them wrangle you, but a few years ago I was shocked to learn that while I’d been wearing a 38D for years, I was actually a 36 DD/DDD. It’s a FREE service – someone with Christina’s $$ could surely even have someone come to her home!

    • Art Eclectic
      0

      Seconded on Nordstroms for quality bras. I’m large busted and nothing but Wacoal touches my girls. They can be pricey, but if you shop at The Rack religiously (like check every week) you can usually pick them up for much cheaper.

  30. Ellelake
    0

    Oh Christina of the various boob levels, you’ve shoved them in our faces, clad them chastely, and lo! now they hang a good 8 inches lower than usual. Oh Christina, we know you’re sensitive about your weight, and proud of the girls, but make us believers, set a stable standard boob level. I hear midway between shoulder and elbow is ideal.

  31. Rowynn
    0

    If Christina reads GFY, (which she might,) right now she is probably saying, “What do those people WANT? They complain when I show cleavage, so I cover it up. They complain about the shoes I wear, so I change it up and wear some nice boots. They complain that my clothes are too tight, so I’m wearing something looser-fitting. AND THEY’RE STILL COMPLAINING!! OMFG!”

  32. heather
    0

    It’s a lovely colour on her. That’s…all I’ve got.

  33. Tracey
    0

    I can tell Christina what GFY wants from her – support garments that fit! As most everyone has said already, either they are heaved too high or in this case, not enough. This dress would have been fine with proper undergarments, the removal of the dog collar and I actually think if it were short sleeved it wouldn’t look so draggy. It is a lovely colour on her. Christina, if you are reading – there are professionals who would gladly size you correctly and I’m not talking Victoria’s Secret. I would assume being as successful as you are and the size that you are, you would know about them, but I guess not. You are beautiful, you just need some support. (And you might be able to get some sort of spokesperson deal while you’re at it!)

    • Helen
      0

      Oh, my God, can you imagine being the lingerie maker who got Christina Hendricks as your spokesmodel? Best. Get. EVER.

  34. Valeria
    0

    I don’t see any alternative but for Ms. Hendricks to (1) get herself to a specialty shop that fits and sells specialty foundation garments, then, (2) find a good seamstress and start having all her clothing tailor made for her figure.

    I personally would rather see her wearing a fabulous dress that fits and flatters her 3 or 7 or 12 times than a parade of new dresses for each occasion, each more hideous than the preceding.

  35. Stephanie
    0

    Is it just me or is she wearing some kind of cape? If you look by her right elbow there is maroon fabric. What is that?

    • Megan Ishler Anderson
      +1

      Oh God, you are right it is a CAPE! I thought it was an asymmetrical hem until you pointed this out. She is BOOBSY McSUPER PRYNNE! I’m just, I’m done with this one.

      Oh and I also really feel bad for her and her bunion situation. That bunion is distorting her boot! Somehow that bunion will turn out to be her kryptonite in some future issue of the comic book that is her terrible choices.

    • TereLiz
      0

      This is the thing that shuts the door on the outfit for me. There’s no unfugging the butt-cape. :(

  36. Sajorina
    0

    She can be saved from FUG, but this outfit can’t be! Start over, Hendricks!

  37. Lizzie
    0

    As a large-busted gal myself, I feel your pain, Christina. Really I do. Fashion aside, a high neckline like that only ever works on those skinny, flat-chested women like Audrey Hepburn. Not that I want a full display of cleavage, mind you. But a nice scoop or V-neck is usually all one needs to break up all that expanse of material around the girls and on up to the neck. And I feel like if the neckline were a better one, we would not at all be having discussions about better bras and hoisting the girls up higher. Now, on to the fashion: I HATE that dog collar, specifically because it looks exactly like a dog collar. Why on earth did the dress designer feel the need to have a dress with FOUR belts? What’s the point? We can’t really blame Christina for the design of the dress, though, since she probably just saw something she liked and bought it. We’ve all purchased clothing that we liked that didn’t particularly flatter us, haven’t we?

  38. Olivia
    0

    Tailoring, tailoring, tailoring. I could deal with the neck belt if the dress fit better. And if it didn’t look like her spectacular bosom was heading south. So, tailoring, and a better bra.

  39. nicolad
    0

    leave christina alone
    she’s twice the woman you’ll ever be..

  40. Minda
    0

    There is something about this that reminds me of Fiddler on the Roof. And not the the happy wedding scene or the girls running through the meadow dancing scene, but rather, when the one daughter goes off to Siberia to join her imprisoned rebel husband. Like, this is what she would wear after she joined him in the fight. Cheery.

  41. Victoria
    0

    The color sets off her hair nicely. It needs to be tailored to her figure, and needs to have a pretty neckline that shows some nice creamy skin, but not OMG BOOBS or anything. Ditch the belts on the neck/wrists.

  42. jerkygirl
    0

    This really isn’t that bad. I don’t like the odd dog collars on her neck and wrists, but it looks comfy and is a pretty color. It’s November-appropriate and the cape adds some interest. The worst thing about the fit is, as usual, her bra, but the little bit of bunching over the belt is just something that happens when you move around sometimes. Ditch the dog collars and get a good bra and this is good.

  43. Heather S.
    0

    Large breasted women should NEVER wear high necks, it’s a complete waste of beautiful boobs. That’s partly why they look so saggy regardless of the quality of her bra. Also if you’re going to wear a dog collar, it should be black so at least you can claim it’s a BDSM thing. The color of the dress is lovely and the cut below the boobs is fine. But again, and this seems to be a popular opinion: I have big boobs all my tops are at least boat neck otherwise they’re pajama tops that never are seen in public.

  44. CMN
    0

    This is awful. Why can’t she find a good bra? I could understand if she was living in a small town where she only has access to a Victoria’s secret, but she’s in NYC. Go to Town Shop on the Upper West SIde. Have an old lady fit you properly. Buy a bra where the size seems crazy. I wear a 30F and my life has changed since buying better bras. And while I get angry that I have to pay 80 dollars for a bra and other women can pop into Target and pay 12 bucks, I think Christina can afford it. Also, a scoop neck and three quarter sleeves are your friends. As are skirts that don’t hit in the most unflattering place possible. I’m willing to vote her far in fug madness because her clothes aren’t even wacky and hilarious, they are just ill fitting and sad.

  45. CMN
    +1

    Is there any way to nominate her for a spot on What Not to Wear and have Clinton and Stacy address this woman? Or a gentle intervention by Tim Gunn?

  46. fritanga
    0

    Nope. I give up on her. She doesn’t care, so no one else should care. She’s determined to look as bad/mediocre as possible all the time, so let her.

  47. Evalyn
    0

    After much thought, I have reached the conclusion that she only looks good on the screen. I have never seen her on screen when she did not take my breath away but I have never seen a still picture of her where she didn’t look badly dressed. Ergo: she does not look good when posing. Maybe she needs a costumer instead of a stylist. And the name of Dolly Partons’ boob wrangler.

  48. Jo
    0

    Rigby and Peller would sort out her lingerie issues. I hate the hemline and the neckline- why? Why?!

  49. Dazie
    0

    I just give up. I love her, unabashedly. But I can’t look at her any more. * sigh*

  50. Lion
    0

    This is, I am afraid, simply un-unfuggable. Taking the hem up and putting her in a decent bra would do nothing for the irrevocable clash between the burgundy and her hair, to say nothing of the unwisdom of draping wool over a full figure. And such a sweet face will always be thrashing away from any kind of dog collar. Don´t even start me on the hem over the boots.

  51. Lily1214
    0

    And here’s yum-yum . . .