Fugger: Justin Bieber

Fugs and Hmms: Justin Bieber’s Comedy Central Roast

Yes, it was Bieber’s night, but if you think I’m not opening with Martha Stewart coyly peeking through a curtain like she is your surprise sexy dessert, then you don’t know me.

[Photos: Getty]


High Fugshion: The adidas x Kanye West YEEZY Show and Front Row

I know this is Kanye’s party, but we HAVE to open with discussing how Bieber looks like a refried Ken doll now.

[Photos: Getty, Splash]


Fugs and Fugs: The CR Fashion Book Party at Paris Fashion Week

Welcome to The Saucy Lady of the Night Circus. It’s just like The Night Circus itself, except the gymnastics are a lot naughtier.

[Photos: AKM/GSI, Getty]


amfAR in Cannes Better Played Carpet: Justin Bieber

I mean, it’s a whole hell of a lot better:

I am not sure the pants are supposed to be quite so bunchy all the way down (and the rest of it also seems fitted oddly and shoved around, as if the primary objective was to make his shoulders look broad and show off the arm tattoos). But then again, this is a person who until recently seemed to believe pants were supposed to include a superhuman amount of bulge space and/or fasten under the buttocks, and it’s pleasant to see him looking human and relatively rational. In other words, one small step for man is, in fact, one giant leap for Biebkind.

Edited to add: I didn’t see the mustache at first. It’s… not good, if that’s what it is. But still: Considering his behavioral optics were bad enough for him to be left out of Fug Madness, I’m just glad he’s dressed, and in clothes that appear to be staying on him.

[Photo: Getty]


Coachella Music Fugstival: First Weekend

Otherwise known as Free People Fashion Week, and starring such luminaries as Vanessa Hudgens, Beyonce, Solange, Lorde, Jared Leto, Kellan Lutz, Kate Bosworth, and the Jenner girls and the Willis girls in some truly hideous things.

Speaking of: This was the second Coachella photo I saw. And I tweeted it and said that I was fairly sure it would stand as the stupidest one of all. And then some people gave her some REALLY stiff competition.

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[Photos. Splash, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, WENN]


Fugstin Bieber

I freely admit that I have an incredibly low Bieber tolerance. But among other issues, someone REALLY needs to have a Come to Jesus with him about his upper lip. Or if that doesn’t work, send in Kanye for a Come to Yeezus. Or Beyonce for a Come to Beysus. Or a Nintendo Wii avatar of himself for a Come to Miisus. Because for some reason, sticking him in front of a mirror for a Come to Biebsus has not been effective, because he has the WORLD’S LEAST RELIABLE EYEBALLS APPARENTLY AND THAT IS SAYING SOMETHING BECAUSE THIS PLANET ALSO HAS KARDASHIANS.

[Photos: Getty]