… an informant from Miami Vice.

… a guy who tells women he’s got A Lot Of Friends In The Business who really want to listen to her demo tape.

… a character on The Sims.

… someone who thinks he could beat Walter White at his own game, and who would be woefully wrong about that.

… he is not, in fact, the guy of Hailey Baldwin’s dreams.

… someone who says things like, “Be cool, baby,” and thinks they’re sexy.

… he has autographed merchandise from every single cast member of Jersey Shore.

… he really dug Dacre Montgomery in Stranger Things.

… he is inspiring Selena Gomez to sage out her private parts.

.. a damn f*cking fool.