Fug File: WTF

Fifty Shades of Fug: Rita Ora in Roberto Cavalli

Rita wore this to an event called The Glamour of Italian Fashion.

But honey, there is nothing glamourous about what that Italian fashion is doing to your boobs — not to mention that the whole vibe is Roadkill The Limo Plowed Over On The Way There.

[Photo: Getty]


Well Played: Shailene Woodley in Preen, And Then WTF

If anything confirms that the Hollywood Walk of Fame is essentially meaningless (beyond the fact that the stars are purchased by fans or studios or the stars themselves, or a combo: “The Starz cable network, for example, paid for Dennis Hopper’s star as part of the promotion for its series Crash,” per Wikipedia), it’s the fact that 95 percent of the time, the people who turn up to introduce/support the honorees are just in their most recent — and possibly currently premiering WHAT A COINCIDENCE — movie, as if somehow those people are the only ones whose presence would be so meaningful. Not that anyone out there should be SAD if they get a Walk of Fame star, but Kanye West can really stop stressing about Kim’s lack of one. It’s not like Everyone In Town got together and decided you are in the club.

[Photos: WENN, Getty]


What The Fug: Sheers at the Glee 100th Episode Party

If the idea is that the more episodes you have in the can, the more skin you show, then they ought to pull this show off the air NOW.

[Photos: WENN]


Fugkita: Maggie Q at the Divergent premiere

In the spirit of the name of the movie, let’s borrow from Robert Frost:

“One seam diverged; it wasn’t good, for Eye –

Eye took the road that traveled Thigh,

And now I have too much information

Although I also have a reason to do more lunges, so maybe it’s a wash.”

[Photo: Getty]


Elton John Oscar Party WTF: Analeigh Tipton

Let’s not mince words: I call bullshit on this.

There is NO WAY anyone associated with this malevolent piece of sewing intended for it to be taken seriously, right? There is NO WAY anyone associated with acquiring this inept cocktail intended for the consumption of it to be taken seriously, right? There is NO WAY Analeigh put her feet into that glorified salon smock of a skirt and that window with arms, and said, “Nothing has ever felt so good,” right? Full marks for actually wearing the bra — is this whole thing in aid of a Playtex endorsement? — but I refuse to believe this seemingly very nice person, with a great bob and nice makeup, who was good on America’s Next Top Model and better in Crazy, Stupid, Love, is doing anything except prank-calling herself here. HANG UP THE PHONE.

[Photo: Getty]


Elton John Oscar Party WTF: Jessica White

There was a rumor going around in September that Tom Cruise and Jessica White were dating, and I think I speak for us all when I say PLEASE XENU LET THAT BE TRUE because LOOK:

If she plays her cards right, she could be initiated very quickly as some kind of new, extremely complicated Scientology deity, and Tom could tuck himself right there under her armpit, pull the sleeve around himself, and run that scam like Oz. Or burst out of it tap-dancing. Both.

We might as well let her turn around for us, because she put in so much effort:

hail, xena? wait, that’s taken…