Prepare to have your head roll off your neck and down your street: The pants Olivia Culpo is wearing here, on her way to an interview in support of a reality show she has with her sisters that I did not know existed — hence, I suspect, the pants, because now I do know — cost a whopping $1100. Per that website, they are also sold out. Do we think that’s because they made one pair? SURELY “sold out” is an attempt to make them look desirable and not, in fact, because other people want to wear “denim hybrid trousers” that cost the same as like three nights at the Grand Wailea in Maui? I am so delighted and horrified by their fugtrocity that I cannot help but applaud. Just behold them up close:
She now has two bums: the one on her actual body, and the one her calves are apparently impersonating.
Yes, that’s right, fluff the calf-butts, Olivia. I cannot believe a garment exists that has me wondering, sincerely, if they should be called “leg pants.” It’s like The Island of Dr. Moreau, except the island is somebody’s Parisian basement and the resulting chimeras will only kill our vocabulary. This might be the worst thing ever invented? And I am SO GLAD it was?!?!?! J.Lo might be upset she didn’t do it first.