Fug File: Unfug It Up

Unfug or Fab: Amanda Seyfried in Valentino

This actually as easily could’ve been a Well Played With Notes, but whatever. I’m in a voting frame of mind.

amanda seyfried while we're young premiere new york

That dress is so, so cute. I love it. Three enthusiastic thumbs up, with my fourth too paralyzed by longing to move.

But I don’t think I’d have done such a severe, tight updo. Amanda has the most glorious blonde hair, and if she’d let that stuff loose around her shoulders and smiled wide, we’d have bee in SERIOUS business. In every photo that I saw — or that’s come in so far, anyway — her only grin is tight-lipped at best. Maybe that’s because the hair is impeding the movement of her facial muscles, or something. Here’s a side view:

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Unfug or Fab: Taylor Swift in Julien Macdonald at the Elle Style Awards

Never let it be said that T.Swift isn’t savvy: She is in the UK to accept an Elle Style Award, and so she’s wearing a Welsh designer.

taylor swift elle style awards 2015

And this is pretty clearly an attempt to walk on the wilder side, especially on the heels of that exceedingly wholesome apple-pie Vogue photoshoot, where she and Karlie Kloss channeled their best Niki and Krissy Taylor impressions, as if it was YM and the year was 1992. I don’t think Taylor does anything that isn’t meticulously planned and whose effect is thoroughly mapped, and this must be to remind us all that she’s not JUST pop and love and light, but also in her mid-twenties and ready for us to take any forthcoming Dark Times Depicted In Song very seriously. I get it. She can’t just be one thing, but she also can’t go full Miley and start making sex toys out of My Little Pony memorabilia.

I just think the whole isn’t the sum of its parts here. What I like: the green, the dark pedicure, the shoes (more dramatic and less vintage-y than she normally picks), the slicked-back hair, for a change. What I could live with: the dress from the waist down, even though it’s still not my favorite; it’s the part I would salvage if we needed to keep something. What I am not sure about: the makeup. I do think I get the thinking that a purpley vampy lip would’ve taken this too costumey, but the lighter approach seems mismatched. What I really don’t like: the big exposed zipper, and the rest of the bodice. It sits too low, and the straps seem to draw attention to it rather than hold up the whole thing.

Have at it, Fug Nation. How would you adapt this, but still try to keep the more adult vibe Taylor clearly wants to create? Also, someone please introduce her to some more boys, because I think we’re all just about ready for her to have more song fodder. Failing that, she should just leaf through Us and write songs mining the pain of OTHER people’s breakups. I’m eager for her interpretation of, say, whether Common and Serena are having trouble letting each other go (called “Deuce (Advantage: You)”), or of course the pressing issue of Hilary Duff divorcing her Hockey Mike. She could call it “Penalty Box,” or “Two Minutes For Roughing (My Heart).”

[Photo: Getty]


Unfug or Fab: Thandie Newton

In the words of the infamous Kirk Van Houten, father 0f Milhouse, can I borrow a feeling?

The Royal Performance and world premiere of "The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel"

Because other than being enchanted by Thandie Newton’s face, I can’t muster up an emotion here. It fits. The buttons look like brass hip nipples. Does it need to be hoiked at all? But if it is hoiked, then the necklace will REALLY drop into her cleavage. And the white hem at the bottom might make it look like drapes in a way that it wouldn’t if that part were black like the rest. I don’t know what to DO about it, other than to be disappointed, which is where I hope you will come in and lend me a more satisfying emotion — be it ragey or sheer delight.

This may help:

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Unfug It Up: Natalie Dormer

SO CLOSE, right?

InStyle's The Best Of British Talent: Pre-BAFTA Party - Red Carpet Arrivals

I just want to sneak up behind her, snip off those sleeves, THROW THEM IN A FIRE, and then harass her for Game of Thrones spoilers until security comes to escort me from the building. That’s doable, right? Promise me you’ll visit if I end up in jail. I need someone to come by and tell me what’s happening on Scandal!

[Photo: Getty]


Producers Guild Awards Unfug It Up: Felicity Jones in Valentino

Well, at least this sheer skirt is prettier than the last one Felicity Jones had to model.

producers guild awards 2015

But think how nice this might’ve looked if it DIDN’T look shoplifted from the Z Gallerie home goods section.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


Unfug It Up: Anne Hathaway

You guys, Anne Hathaway is REALLY into Winter White right now:


This is the first of two posts today wherein I wonder if I have gone insane — so the answer is probably “YES” — but I think I like the suit. I don’t even totally hate the top, although I think I’d do something different with it, if I were in charge of Anne Hathaway’s wardrobe (this is surely something that will happen eventually). I just want to swap out the shoes. A metallic? She might need jewelry, too, now that I think about it. What do you think? Have at it, Stylists of Fug Nation! HAVE AT IT.


Critics’ Choice Movie Awards Unfug or Fab: Jennifer Aniston in Gucci

I admit, I was tempted for a second to put Angelina and Aniston in the same post, and make you vote. Team Jen vs. Team Jolie, once and for all. But then I decided that story is A DECADE OLD NOW. Nobody cares. I’m on both your teams, and neither of your teams, all at the same time. As much as I love soaps and a good ol’ catfight, I’m over it, and — inasmuch as you’re ever truly over wanting to stick it to your ex’s new lobster — I suspect both of them are over it as well, because they would rather their gravestones not read, say, “Here lieth Jennifer Aniston, former wife of Brad Pitt, did some acting stuff, hated Angelina until her last breath, enraged that she went first, Unbroken stank,” or whatever.

So. For today, at least, until I change my mind again, I will only IMAGINE the side-eyes that might have been exchanged, and instead focus on Jennifer’s getup. (Except for how I just wrote a whole paragraph about her and Angelina ANYWAY. Sorry, Jen. Best efforts and all that.)

Jennifer Aniston at The 20th Annual Critics Choice Movie Awards in Hollywood

Jennifer had a truly endearing look on her face at the Globes that suggested she thought maybe, just maybe, she might win that thing for Cake. She didn’t, and then didn’t get an Oscar nod either. (I forgot that when I wrote my Oscar Afternoon Chat post. Haven’t seen that one, either.) That has to be disappointing. But much like how Emily Blunt may have been like, “FINE, let me show you what you are missing,” this outfit says to me, “Just be cool. Be cool. You’re not bummed. Be cool. You’re chill like ice. BE COOL. IT DIDN’T BOTHER YOU, YOU’RE JUST A COMPLETELY HIP PERSON OUT FOR A CASUAL NIGHT, YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT TROPHIES, YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE  MANTEL, ALTHOUGH THAT’S ONLY BECAUSE YOU SLEDGEHAMMERED IT IN A RAGE THIS AFTERNOON BUT WHATEVER NOBODY KNOWS THAT.”

What I like about it: the RED. As in, generally the only color she’ll wear that isn’t black or white or grey, although this one has a rusty tinge to it that’s a nice change from Fire Engine hues And I appreciate that it’s a departure from type. I even don’t hate the idea of the sexy suit jacket, sans shirt and plus sternum bling. But sometimes that can look weighed-down rather than like Letting It All Hang Out, and I worry this is leaning toward the former. I also think the overlong pant with the aggressive seams, paired with matching shoes, takes it even further away from hip and into older-lady territory. A slimmer fit on her shins and a high strappy pair of black or gold shoes… what do you think? Does it help? Tell it like it is in the comments. Y’all, be there for her. ‘Cause she’s there for you too.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]