Fug File: Fug or Fab

Fug or Fine: Gwyneth Paltrow

This is the best Gwynnie’s head has looked in a LONG time. I actually wish she were wearing the smock Lena Dunham picked.

gwyneth paltrow paddle for pink

Instead, G-Bone here is in a tight, stretchy shirt-dress with a slit –and the illusion that she hasn’t matched up the buttons correctly – all of which recalls that heady time when Kelly Taylor got a bad haircut and was sucked into her professor’s cult. The only good thing about that was when the wise charlatan demanded that she dump Brandon’s smug behind — which, of course later let to Kelly famously deploying the I Choose Me bomb on both Brandon and Dylan. (She only chose herself for about three weeks before choosing Colin and then eventually cocaine, but whatever, it was still great.) If Jason Priestley shows up and she rejects his marriage proposal, then I might sign onto this. Otherwise I fully expect it to lay in a heap in her closet until her next big personal sale on GOOP, where she will ask someone to pay $900 for her folly. RESIST.

But, full marks for her head. For ME it doesn’t outweigh the rest, though perhaps it will for you.

[Photo: Getty]


Fug or I Give Up It’s Fine Whatever: Lena Dunham in Lisa Perry

I am sure she hasn’t, but somehow I feel like Lena has worn this before:

lena dunham paddle for pink

But it might just be that the parade of cheerfully shapeless tents starts blending together after a while. Full marks for the colors, and I really WANT them to unduly influence me into thinking this is cute. I can’t quite get there, though. Maybe it’s the lighting, or the makeup, or that I still am not sold on this haircut. Whatever the reason, I see this as the garment completely overwhelming her, thus forcing my eyes down to the confounding footwear. Granted, I’m not sure where plush ankle testicles do have a place, but it’s certainly not here.

[Photo: Getty]


Fug or Fab: Rachel Brosnahan

This is honestly a good excuse for me to tell you guys that Manhattan, which is about the Manhattan Project, and features Rachel Brosnahan here, is REALLY good and everyone at Astronaut Wives Club should have watched it several times to figure out how to tell a story about a LOT of real people working on a scientific project that had a lot of steps forward and back. (Manhattan is lucky that their timeline is shorter than AWC but…anyway.)

WGN America's "Manhattan" 2015 Summer TCA Tour - Photo Call

And Rachel Brosnahan is quite good on it, to the point where every time I see her at Fashion Week, which has happened more than once, I think to myself, “I know that woman. She’s on TV. I DON’T like her. WHO IS SHE?” Whenever she’s out of costume, I don’t recognize her as an actress but a person I know and don’t like, which might be bad for her on a personal day-to-day thing, but speaks well of performance.

More importantly: What IS that in the pattern on her (very cute) dress? Tea pots? People doing yoga? Is this some kind of Rorscach test they’re running on the reporters at TCA? I am fairly sure I just failed it.

[Photo: Getty]


Fug or Fab: Emma Stone

This happened over the weekend, but NO ONE is leaving the house this week (Royals Round-Up may just be one photo of Charles and Camilla being menaced by an eagle [that really happened]) and god knows, we all enjoy Talking About Crazy Pants:

Semi-Exclusive... Emma Stone Leaving The Shutters On The Beach Hotel

If this looks familiar to you, that’s because she’s worn VERY SIMILAR ones previously. And these look EVEN MORE like Queen Letizia’s Sassy Vacation Pants. Is Emma Stone a secret fan of a variety of royals? Are you reading this right now, Emma Stone? Emma Stone, is that you? EMMA STONE, REVEAL YOURSELF.

For what it’s worth, I enjoy The Wacky Pants of Emma Stone (and pretty much everyone). I’m just pretending we’re not living in a world where I like pants with elastic cuffs.

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[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


Fug or Fab: Elsa Pataky in Alberta Ferretti

Well, listen. Many celebs are on a yacht right now. And that is why we are talking about Elsa Pataky — no offense, Elsa. I am sure you are picking up what I am putting down.

VACATION Premieres in LA

And here’s the thing. I can’t decide if this dress (which, honestly, I think I like better on her than I do on the model) is:

a) a dressed up negligee;

b) a dressed DOWN bridesmaid’s dress, or;

c) something one of the more elegant Housewives might wear to Elopement #3 Or Above.

Which makes it very hard to know how, accordingly, to finish this post.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


Fug or Fab: Dascha Polanco

This whole look is actually a bit Kim Kardashian:

dascha polanco mission impossible

But not in the bad way. It’s just that the slicked-back pony, the deep lip, and a figure-hugging white dress with a jacket thrown over it evokes one of The Lady West’s two default aesthetics – as in, the one where she’s not using her clothes as a window. I think the minimalism is lovely on Dascha, and she looks extremely striking; it’s the abdominal porthole that’s bugging me. It’s not particularly clever, nor stylish, nor whimsical. It’s just there, a small slice of havoc. Like many a Kardashian, in fact.

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[Photo Getty]


Fug or Fab: Charlize Theron in Dior

She (a) doesn’t look that excited, and (b) suddenly sort of resembles Nicky Hilton to me. Is that totally crackers?


I will say that I like this dress a lot, theoretically speaking. But ever since I read on Red Carpet Fashion Awards that it might be better suited for Kiernan Shipka, that’s all I can see. I love a pattern, I love the colors, I think it’s saucy, but it feels like a dress that we expect to see on the aforementioned Kiernan, or Zooey Deschanel, or Emma Stone, or someone who has a sunnier vibe than Charlize.

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[Photo: Getty]