Fug File: super(and unsuper)models

MTV Movie Awards Fug or Fab: Chrissy Teigen in Ulyana Sergeenko

This outfit is weirding me out a little.

Not because it’s so bad, necessarily, although it would perhaps be more at home at someone’s sorority sister’s wedding (you know, you’re fresh out of college, and you think you can pick a bridesmaid dress that everyone will want to wear again, and you will be wrong); no, it’s more because she almost looks like she could be the fifteen-year old star of a Nickelodeon sitcom called, like, #Chrissy or something. A baby-pink poofy satin tweehouse isn’t exactly what I was expecting, and I think maybe she should’ve handed it down to an actual 15-year old for Prom and poured herself a cocktail and done some more shopping.

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[Photo: Getty]


Vanity Fair Oscar Parties Fugs and Fabs: Purples

Personally, I think more people need to wear purple more often. It’s almost always at least striking, even if it doesn’t always reach the heights of Jessica Chastain in Givenchy at Cannes.

[Photos: Getty]


Elton John Oscar Party WTF: Jessica White

There was a rumor going around in September that Tom Cruise and Jessica White were dating, and I think I speak for us all when I say PLEASE XENU LET THAT BE TRUE because LOOK:

If she plays her cards right, she could be initiated very quickly as some kind of new, extremely complicated Scientology deity, and Tom could tuck himself right there under her armpit, pull the sleeve around himself, and run that scam like Oz. Or burst out of it tap-dancing. Both.

We might as well let her turn around for us, because she put in so much effort:

hail, xena? wait, that’s taken…


amfAR Fugs and Fabs: Everyone Else

There were a LOT of rando models at this thing. Shouldn’t they all have been home last night with a face mask on, drinking a pressed juice and preparing for the rigors of Fashion Week? That’s what I did. (Read, “I had a glass of wine and a pot of beef beef bourguignon and then watched TV while eating a cake pop.”)

[Photos: Getty]


Unfug It Up: Miranda Kerr

I weirdly kind of like this, but I keep staring at the top and thinking that it just looks like a Hanes t-shirt with grand aspirations:

In fact, I feel like this whole look aimed for Timeless Simplicity and landed in Kinda Half-Assed. The good news is, I think that with a little bit of work, we can wholly-ass it. I’d start with…well, a drink. And then maybe a some color. A jacket? Different shoes? You make the call.

[Photo: Getty]


Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Miranda Kerr and Malin Akerman

Remember when Jared Leto got up to accept his award, and talked about waxing his body for Dallas Buyers Club, and his relief at not doing a Brazilian, and how women in the audience probably knew what he meant? I can think of one person who probably did:

I keep wanting to call this Divorce Thigh, but it’s also Divorce Groin. As that whole sport goes, I think Divorce Bangs are the one I prefer. (Side note: Do we think Pucci paid Donatella Versace a royalty for this design? I wonder if there was a rise in people Googling “Elizabeth Hurley safety pin.”)

Divorce Nudity, by the way, was going around:

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