Fug File: royalty

Royally Played, Princess Charlene at the Red Cross Ball


Lots of Monaco on GFY today — how nice of them to leave the house! Unlike past years at this gala, Albert and Charlene are the only two royals in attendance. I can only assume everyone else was still hungover from Pierre and Beatrice’s wedding. Or maybe everyone just decided they might steer clear of Charlene’s jumpsuit?

[Photos: Getty]

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Royally Played: Beatrice Borromeo in Valentino Couture


As promised in Royals Round-Up, Beatrice Borromeo and Pierre Casiraghi (Princess Caroline’s son) had their civil wedding ceremony this weekend (the religious ‘do is happening on her family’s island next weekend, because if your family owns an island, then obviously you hold at least one of your weddings there, right? Remind us to eventually write a book that involves a wedding on a private island, okay?). Thus far there has been but one photo thereof, although I am on the lookout for more. I obviously demand all angles of anyone’s wedding dress, over which, ideally, to coo.

Until then, from the Valentino folks (surely operating with bridal permission):

Yeah, yeah, you two are so happy and gazing into each other’s face and WILDLY IN LOVE or whatever, but turn around so I can see the front of your dress, lady!

WISH GRANTED, thanks to Trendecias:

It might look a wee bit like a nightgown/bed jacket for my taste? But I like, and am not surprised by, the fact that she went fairly non-traditional. Whenever I think of the Casiraghi wives, I think of that sort of Extremely Expensive Boho thing that Vogue loves and hardly anyone can actually pull off, and that extends to the color of this dress and also to her floral wreath.  I suspect her gown for the religious ceremony next weekend might go more Full Bridal.

Parenthetically, The Casiraghi Wives would make a much better ABC soap than their current experiment with astronauts’ wives. Just think of it: Princess Caroline (allegedly) hates her current spouse but won’t divorce him because (allegedly) she doesn’t want to lose her HRH title. Her previous husband, Stefano Casiraghi, Pierre’s dad, died in a motor boating accident, after which he was supposed to retire, and mere days after he ALMOST died in a boat explosion. (In the soap, obviously, this was murder, because…wow. It’s so sad; he was only 30.) Pierre’s sister Charlotte is, of course, the very beautiful Gucci model/equestrienne. Beatrice’s family, as previously noted, OWN A ISLAND and her Dad is a count. Pierre’s brother Andrea’s Wiki page notes, “In 2011, [Andrea] was named the second most beautiful male royal of all time by the BeautifulPeople.com, behind Prince Carl Philip,” so it’s possible he’s the one character who spends a lot of time writing his own Wikipedia page. (I mean, they’re both very handsome, but ALL TIME? I think this very scientific list might be biased in favor of people who are still alive.)  His wife, Tatiana Santo Domingo, has a net worth of over two billion dollars. (Seriously. Her grandfather is the second richest man in Colombia.) Aunt Princess Stephanie is…you know, Princess Stephanie. Add in the possibility that Aunt Charlene once may have wanted to escape the country, throw everyone in the blender of the French Riviera, and PULSATE. I’d watch.

[Photo: Valentino's Instagram, Trendencias' Twitter]

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Royally Played: Wills and Kate at the America’s Cup World Series


In which the boat race itself was called due to unsafe sailing conditions, but whatever: WILLIAM IS WEARING NORMAL PERSON JEANS. I told you Kate would eventually toss the Dad Jeans into the fire pit. Victory in our time! As far as she goes, you’ve seen this all before –  I believe this is her Official Nautical Boating Outfit — but it might not help your cause if you’re trying to avoid buying another striped shirt. This post also has Sports Watching Faces (except this time, they’re “Wow, They’re Taking That Boat Out of the Water With a Crane!” Faces), and Team Cambridge pullovers that I hope Wills and Kate wear when they show up at Clarence House for game night with Chuck and Camz.

And just in case you’re just bumming around reading the internet this Sunday (NO JUDGEMENT), here’s Kate’s previous America’s Cup event (she’s a patron of the British team, which is why they were at this event today), including YACHTING SCANDALS, a giant trophy, and the surprise appearance of a member of Duran Duran.

[Photos: Getty]

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Royals Round-Up, July 24th, 2015


We are entering the period of the summer that I like to call, ALL THE ROYALS ARE HIDING IN A CAVE. That said, Wills and Kate are allegedly doing an event on Sunday, so zing back over here this weekend and eyeball them.  The Casiraghi/Borromeo civil service is ALSO this weekend (the religious service is on the Borromeo island [!!] next weekend), and I am also going to cover THAT, depending on when/how many photos flutter into my possession. In other words: Stay tuned.

We did have some stuff happen this week, namely:

– We got a new pic of Prince George, from The Testino Christening Collection; and

– George turned two, and I put together a nice fat slideshow to celebrate. It even includes puppies!

As a reminder/news (you might have just gotten back from a fabulous vacation!): The Royal We is now available in English in e-book in many many MANY MANY countries, one of which is probably yours!  In most of these places, it should be available on all platforms that you use for your e-book reading, from Kindle to Kobo to iBooks, but here are the Amazon links for those of you in the countries where we have the most readers, just for ease of use:

And elsewhere:

[Photos: Getty]

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Happy Birthday, Prince George!


Happy second birthday, Prince Squishy McAllCaps, Duke of Muffins, Earl of Mischief,  Baron Sweetcheeks. What better way to celebrate the birthday of a small, charismatic child we don’t personally know (AS FAR AS I AM AWARE) than a giant slideshow of Greatest Hits? Well, maybe cake. But I don’t know where to send you baked goods right now. (PS: if you missed it, Kensington Palace released a new picture of wee HRH yesterday.)

(PPS: If you have oodles of time to devote to this topic and YOU MIGHT, all of George can be found here.)

(PPPS: You probably already know this, but because sometimes people only pop by for George: If you live somewhere other than the United States or Canada, and you wanted to read The Royal We on e-book but were previously thwarted, AT LAST it’s out all over the place on Kindle and iBooks and whatnot, in many many many many countries, from the Netherlands to India to Australia to the UK, and one of which may well be yours. Happy reading!)

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Royally Played, Prince George


In honor of Prince Squirmy Monkey turning two tomorrow, the palace has — as you can see! — released a new Testino pic via their Instagram:

Look who’s turning two tomorrow! #HappyBirthdayPrinceGeorge

A photo posted by Kensington Palace (@kensingtonroyal) on

“HELLO, MISTER TESTINO. YOU SEEM LIKE A LOVELY PERSON WITH ALL SORTS OF INTERESTING GADGETS. SO WHY DON’T YOU HOLD ME FOR A WHILE AND ALSO GIVE ME THAT SHINY EXPENSIVE CLICKY THING IN YOUR HAND THAT YOU KEEP POINTING AT ME SO I CAN FIGURE OUT HOW IT WORKS AND ALSO MAYBE SMASH IT. DADDY, PLEASE GIVE ME TO MR TESTINO NOW SO THAT I CAN HAVE A LOUD ADVENTURE. LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT MY CHEEKY SMILE! DON’T I SEEM TRUSTWORTHY? OF COURSE I DO. NOW PLEASE HAND ME OVER. THANK YOU.”

[Photos: Kensington Palace/Mario Testino)

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