SWINTONLY Played, SWINTON


well-played

SWINTON is just so groovy.

I just want to go over to her house, where I assume she will be wearing this and she’ll hand me a weird cocktail and then we’ll go out into her treehouse — don’t be misled, it’s actually a very modern structure — where she will give me blunt and excellent romantic advice and then leave me to go canoodle with one of the men in her household, asking me to rearrange her slacks wardrobe as payback. AND I WILL HAPPILY DO SO. I mean, truly, I would look like an IDIOT in this ensemble — trying too hard, party of one — but she seriously just….looks like this. Teach me your ways, O SWINTON.

Even this is good on her:

And it’s a dress strapped to another dress with orthopedic sandals. I do think that she’s rather brilliant in that she basically never accessorizes, so that something that might seem EXTRA INSANE on anyone else is at least Toned Down Insane on her. Plus: the color is good. Minus: it IS strangling her, which is rude. But those two dudes behind her seem willing to rescue her if need be. Breathe easy.

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Comments (82):

  1. neiges
    0

    Another level of awesomeness has been reached. I want to be like her when I grow up.
    And in the second photo, the guy on the left could be her distant cousin right?

    • Jen
      0

      I thought that too! and he looks like he was thinking, Oh, even with my FurScarf and Shiny Pants, I cannot hope to approach the Total Swintonness of Swinton.

    • Barbara
      0

      Oh yes! She is on her very own level of awesomeness. I ADORE her look. I aspire to it. Unfortunately, I’m not as tall or slim as she is, and I don’t have that perfect androgynous thing going either, but she and her cousin (he MUST be her cousin) are just perfection. She was made for Vivienne Westwood clothes, and that in and of itself is as awesome as it’s possible to get. Please show lots more of her…………….

      • Barbara
        0

        And I meant to mention that I do prefer her with her reddish brown hair, but I’ll put up with the blonde in light of her overall fabulosity.

  2. christine christine
    0

    OMG! I spoke her name in my comment on the last post, and she appeared AS IF BY MAGIC in your next post!

    I think those two guys behind her ARE her accessories. She looks awesome.

    • neiges
      0

      Yes, but I am still shocked with your proposal to include La Swinton on Fug Madness. Clutching my pearls, I say, clutching my pearls. Tsc tsc.
      But well, everyone is entitled to an opinion.

      • Chris
        0

        To be fair, SWINTON rose to become our Fug Mother during Fug Madness ’09 (which I still can’t forgive Fug Nation for – I mean, seriously, Nobody O’Day over SoL-Angel vintage Solange and SWINTON?), so it would be more of a triumphant return for her.

        My take on it is this: There are many different ways to fug – either by having poor taste (see two of GFY’s Buzzmedia neighbors), just not giving a damn (see Mischa Barton and Brad Pitt), trying to be shocking (see Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, and Nicki Minaj), so on and so forth. SWINTON marches to the beat of her own drummer, and – admittedly – her highly androgynous aesthetic is not conventionally beautiful, and sometimes it veers off course. (Not here, though. This is a delight. Both of them.)

        I don’t think she’s unfuggable – very few celebrities are, if any. That said, I’ll agree because I don’t think she’s been particularly wacky this year (there was no Another Magazine cover, for starters).

      • neiges
        0

        @ Chris. You are right, it is quite hard to pin this down. But for me it is not really a question of taste (to each his own) as a question of understanding one’s own style and body type. Embracing it or completely failing to. Or being risk free and boring, or being too risky and trying too hard.
        That’s why Swinton is my fav of all (although it is also a question of taste, I love all her belgian designers… we can’t be completely neutral) : because she does not fight her figure and color. Fug for me is trying to play fashionable and failing for lots of reasons. That’s why – sorry to insist!!! – stage outfits don’t count for me.
        But I agree that no celebrity is unfuggable, it’s just that she has been spot on fantastic most of the time.

    • Siobhán
      0

      Beardy on the right IS her boyfriend, so yes, that constitutes for an accessory.

      • corriner
        0

        I really like that you called him Beardy. I hope we never find out his name, so we can just keep calling him that. SWINTON and Beardy.

      • Miranda
        0

        SWINTON AND BEARDY! This needs to be a children’s book, and it needs to have retroactively been published by the time I was seven.

      • GingerLover
        0

        And Scarfy on the left is HIS boyfriend.

  3. Kristen from MA
    0

    1st outfit: I love those 2 colors, separately and together. I love people who are bold enough to wear this kind of combination! Also, I don’t think I’ve ever seen SWINTON wear flats before (I LOVE an Oxford shoe!). I could have done without the scarf, but it doesn’t bother me much.

    I kind of like the 2nd, but I’d prefer a different shoe and maybe some opaque tights. The bare leg is just too stark.

    • Jen
      0

      I love those oxford shoes on her! Not many people can carry them off.

      • Francesca
        0

        Given the chance, I could carry off those oxfords… in my hand and running at full speed away before I got caught! Behold the Swinton – she’s awesome and her sense of style is tops.

      • Jules
        0

        Totally loving those shoes.

      • GingerLover
        0

        My feel hurt though, she looks like to be wearing no socks… with Oxfords, can you say blister. OUCH!

      • GingerLover
        0

        She looks to be wearing? Oh dear, I actually did write that. Sorry.

  4. vandalfan
    0

    Oh, I’m calling him Randy Pants.

    SWINTON is eternally SWINTON.

  5. Mair Mair
    0

    Replace the scarf with a skinny tie in photo 1, and you have one of the mod/ska guys I went to college with. I loved those guys.

  6. Tara
    0

    That guy’s pants…will show up on Swinton soon. I actually think he may have raided her closet before this photo was taken.

    • gladly
      0

      Are those mother-of-pearl pants? Do such things exist?

      The top Swinton looks like David Bowie’s awesome kid sister.

      • Fuh Ugh
        0

        Bowie’s sister? I’m pretty sure that’s Bowie himself.

        Love the dark red toga though.

      • Timberlina
        0

        Perhaps ‘Pearly Pants’ is SWINTON and Beardy’s Alien love-child. We are witnessing a whole new generation of SWINTON.
        (he has a way to go though)

  7. Caroleena Stantonova
    0

    The Swinton knows how fabu she really is–how could she not? Behold the lush colors and those shoes…I wish I were her neighbor! I could live in a tree, no problem.

    • Caroleena Stantonova
      0

      I don’t simply want those shoes…I need them. I have a pair of Coach oxfords from the mid 90s when Coach was still churning out the collectible classics–handbags and shoes. Their entire line of products has gone way loopy now. My oxfords are (now) boring black. The Swinton is wearing oxblood oxfords! And they mesh with the emerald green trousers and the scarf…the scarf!

      • neiges
        0

        Oxblood METALLIC oxfords, mind you! eh eh

      • Kristen from MA
        0

        They’re bringing some of the Coach classics back! I’m on the email list, and today they sent out notice that the classic DUFFLE bag is back in stock!!!

  8. geemeedee
    0

    I love both outfits and I adore me some SWINTON. I am also afraid of her, which only intensifies my adoration.

  9. floretbroccoli
    0

    Are the two guys behind her her husband and her boyfriend, both of whom live with her?

    I’ve read (and heard her say) that her town has a film festival, which everyone attends in their pajamas (or pyjamas, as they probably say there). WHY HAVE WE NOT SEEN PICTURES?

    • marie
      0

      I do believe those are her husband and boyfriend.

      • unvacuous
        0

        Actually her husband is at least twenty years older than her, so I’m guessing the one on the right might be her boyfriend and the one on the left her gay BFF.

    • Siobhán
      0

      Beardy is the boyfriend, husband was never husband but partner and this threesome thing is false, actually. She lives with beardy and her kids now.

      Ex-Partner looks like this: http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/11/22/article-1088588-022974B8000005DC-867_468x321.jpg

      • JanetP
        0

        That’s a great photo. He looks unexpected, but perfect. Guess it’s too late to get attached, though. And she’s wearing a great sweater!

        Love the first outfit above. Even SWINTON can’t quite pull off that dual-dress thing, though.

      • fritanga
        0

        He looks kind of aged Ciaran Hinds-ish. Like a sea captain.

        Totally a person SWINTON would choose as the father of her children.

  10. Willow
    0

    That first outfit is legitimately he best thing ever. Her street style is amazing.

  11. LG
    0

    I love her. I love that she just does not give a fuck, and yet totally knows that she looks amazing in those colors.

    Also: Katherine Hepburn x Deliciously Crazy x Polyandry = mother effing SWINTON.

  12. Kit
    0

    The guy on the left is cracking me up – that ensemble is insane! He cannot compete with the Swinton. (Who looks glorious in the first pic!)

  13. Jessica
    0

    Yeah, I downright covet those Oxfords. Although I’d wear them with jeans, because that’s how I roll.

  14. Dyanna
    0

    Oh, how dare I be short and chubby and not tall and lean like SWINTON. I would wear the living hell out of that first outfit. Dear me, it’s gorgeous.

  15. LIlibet
    0

    This is bliss. Thank you mother nature for the extraordinary creation known as SWINTON!

  16. Mayflower
    0

    You can’t convince me Swinton is not really David Bowie in drag.

    • anny
      0

      On the one hand, not as much in latter years as when he was younger. But on the other hand, I can’t find a photo of them TOGETHER. So.

      Perhaps they simply share an (extraterrestrial) alien ancestor.

      Otherwise, like you Mayflower, I cannot account for it.

  17. mary lou bethune
    0

    Young actresses take note: you need wit , style, taste and a sense of proportion and above all a sense of the absurdity of all this to become a being like Swinton. She isn’t beautiful, but she is fabulous and talented and she makes you think /know she is beautiful and mysterious and a woman. Everyone else seems silly next to her. I love her.

  18. Street Lovely
    0

    I’ve always loved her style and she’s one of the most underrated actresses out there.
    Street Lovely

  19. Sajorina
    0

    I like both outfits, but just on her… No one else can pull off what SWINTON wears! I don’t like the shoes on the 2nd outfit, but no biggie!

  20. Brooke
    0

    OH MY GOD I LOVE SWINTON SO MUCH!!!
    Heads to Zappos to look for funky (affordable) oxfords…..

  21. Suzanne
    0

    All hail the glorious SWINTON. For she is muse, heroine, touchstone. Admire her from afar, for her fierce elegance doth scorch the unwitting naif. Do not emulate; thine efforts do not compare. Only sit quietly, gazing wondrously upon the luster of this jewel. One goddess alone earns these laurels we present. She is called SWINTON.

  22. Kerina Pharr
    0

    for a second I thought you wrote “where she will give me A blunt,” and I was all like, oh no, surely she would ask you to drop acid with her, come now, Jess.

  23. Feena
    0

    Just have to say that I saw We Need To Talk About Kevin recently and if there is one film in the world that affirms my life choices it’s that one. OMFG. Thanks you universe and thank you SWINTS!

  24. Marisa
    0

    the poor woman’s toes are going to freeze and fall off

  25. Marie
    0

    The second outfit looks like she decided she just had to SWINTON-fy Emma Stone’s Golden Globes look.

  26. Ann
    0

    She’s perfect. There is no way should could NOT wear clothing like this. It’s like asking her to get a fake tan.

  27. TonyG
    0

    All hail SWINTON ’cause these are both wonderfully her, and no one else.

  28. Anne B
    0

    I love the way SWINTON wears a scarf. She doesn’t so much wear it as pause outside her doorway when she leaves the house and wait for the angels to drop it gently over her shoulders.

    O, to be that scarf! <3

  29. G
    0

    First outfit: Gorgeous in every way. I love the colors especially. I know she’s SWINTON so rules don’t apply to her, even gravity apparently. How does anyone get pushed-up sleeves to stay up for long enough to be photographed?

    Second outfit: Incredibly unflattering and ugly, even on SWINTON.

  30. Gayle
    0

    Ah .. if only I looked half that good without eye make-up!

  31. me
    0

    I love both the outfits…the colors, those oxfords (I want!) and topped off by that unique face, wicked grin in place. Swinton is awesomeness personified.

  32. Jenny Samson
    0

    I can’t tell whether the security guy in the back is saying “..this chick – I just don’t get it” to himself or if he’s beaming with pride. I like to think he’s beaming with pride.

  33. reebee
    0

    Actually, i think the guy in the back wearing the dead animal wants to BE her.

  34. jean
    0

    Who is the fur scarf man behind her?

  35. G
    0

    First outfit reminds me of the time I was wearing spiffy oxfords (navy with red stripes) and was told, with a sad headshake, that white socks weren’t right with those shoes. I wasn’t wearing any socks. I think SWINTON has the same palid thing going on here.

  36. Veronica
    0

    There is something to be said for style. I don’t always like what she wears, but I’ll credit her that whatever she puts on, it feels genuinely hers.

    Minus the shoes on the second outfit, I really like all of this. Great use of color in the first one!

  37. Chrissy
    0

    She certainly can get away with some things no one else could pull off. I legitimately really like that purple blazer though.

  38. Megan
    0

    She’s the female David Bowie! I love it!

  39. Jules
    0

    Yes, yes, YES!
    This is what I NEED today.
    Everybody needs a little SWINTON now and then.

  40. Susy
    0

    Is the dude behind her wearing a pair of her slacks from another outfit?

  41. TaraMisu
    0

    I want those oxfords too… we’ll have to fight over them :D

    SWINTON. That’s all that needs to be said here.

    • Sheri C
      0

      I hope you don’t mean to fight SWINTON. You wouldn’t stand a chance…. ;-)

  42. Liz_bee
    0

    All hail Swinton! I cannot believe the awesomeness of this woman.

  43. Miranda
    0

    The first outfit has convinced me that she is my spirit animal. Those COLORS!

  44. Regency
    0

    In all seriousness, I must have these shoes. Any idea on a brand name or was she going Coach from head to toe?

  45. gryt
    0

    I want those metallic burgundy oxfords. Badly.

  46. Shiitake
    0

    Proof positive Florence Welch is no Swinton.

  47. Rosemarie
    0

    Suzanne’s comment gets my vote for “Best Comment EVER.” Or at least, best fragment of los and newly-rediscovered 17th century prose ever posted on this site.