This was an interesting episode — or, rather, the experience of watching it was interesting. There were parts of it that were legitimately quite funny, other parts were very touching, and everyone nailed it from an acting standpoint. I think the problem (if there was one) was that everyone knew we were going to end up with Zoe telling Wade that she’s pregnant with his baby at the end of it (after all, they’re in love and this is TV), but we still had to sit through half an episode of her NOT telling him, which meant everyone was yelping, JUST TELL HIM at the TV for twenty minutes. On the other hand, I know why the writers had to do it that way — Zoe had to process, etc etc etc — so although I found it frustrating, I also sympathize with why they did it that way, and it all came out right in the end. With that said, let’s get right into it.
A) Rachel Bilson is REALLY PREGNANT already in this episode, so thank god they’re not going to be pretending she isn’t at any point. I mean, look at this:
No Out of Focus Leafy Tree can conceal that! Unlike the dresser drawer into which Zoe has just swept the 20 pregnancy tests she’s taken, to keep the truth from Lavon. I will extend to the show the suspension of disbelief that no one in BlueBell would notice Dr Zoe Hart frantically buying every EPT in town. (On the other hand, Zoe is kind of a hysterical crackpot — she truly does fit into BlueBell — so maybe they all let this pass regardless.)
Lavon drags her into the kitchen for one of our last moments with Kitchen Pastry (he’s worried that he hasn’t seen her, “even for baked goods”) and so that she and Wade can be awkward and weird with each other, and Wade can tell her that he doesn’t understand how she can go from being in love with him to having an “it’s too late” reaction when he finally returns the sentiment:
And she can be like WELL A LOT CAN HAPPEN IN EIGHT WEEKS WADE A LOT AND NOW IT’S TOO LATE FOR US. Oh, Zoe. JUST TELL HIM.
Speaking of LIES, here’s Henry, Lemon’s Hot Fake Boyfriend:
He is really, really hot. Anyway, let’s just wrap this plot up right quick: Lemon’s using him because Grandma Bette (no one on this show spells their name the standard way; I fully expect to get to the series finale and find out it’s Brycke) won’t give her money for Fancee’s if she doesn’t have a man (Jaime King has a good moment at the end where she points out how sexist this is) and Henry’s parents won’t give him his trust fund unless they think he’s dating someone more suitable than his last girlfriend (who is a [very beautiful] maid, which we discover in a series of George and Lavon scenes that are amusing, because Scott Porter and Cress Williams are good at their jobs, but not particularly meaty — although they do the job of also getting George and Lavon back together in their True Bromance, which is a relief. I hate it when George and Lavon fight].
While we’re on the subject of Brycke, he’s worried that his mother is also going to hate his one true love, Shelby:
Shelby tells him that her astrologer, Madame Minerva, thinks Brick underestimates his mother. And the fun thing about this scene is not just Shelby’s VERY CUTE skirt, nor AB’s extremely cute dress:
Nor Baby Ethel’s side-eye, but the the fact that Madame Minerva is CORRECT: When Shelby and Grandma Bette meet at the end of the episode, at Grandma Bette’s going away party (more like a PLEASE GO AWAY party), they get on like a house afire. Which actually should work out well for all and sundry. If Bette loves Shelby, perhaps Shelby can run interference for Lemon, and Brick’s other child, Whatshername, whom I can only assume is now well and truly cloistered in a nunnery somewhere in the Alps, only later to be sprung for a life raising the six fractious children of a stern but dreamy Austrian Naval hero. But while we’re on the topic of Brick and Shelby being a secret, it’s now one that AB has accidentally discovered, meaning she knows Brick’s secret, and Lemon’s secret, and she eventually figures out Zoe’s secret (when Zoe freaks out at the sight of a baby in the office, all, “A BABY CHANGES EVERYTHING!!! EVERYTHING!!!!”) and it turns out that AB is a terrible secret keeper (she would have been a liability in the Order of the Phoenix) and keeping these almost drive her insane. I am, as you know, of the belief that there is definitely such a thing as Too Much AB, but Kaitlyn Black was VERY funny in this episode. And very kind when she tells Zoe that she can’t handle this unplanned pregnancy on her own and she needs to tell Wade.
It’s also nice to see the Return of Rose:
Leila Gerstein has been live-tweeting this (presumably) final season, and she said something about how great it’s been to see McKayley Miller here grow up on set, and I’m sure these last episodes have been bittersweet for everyone. As much as I complain about this show sometimes, I must confess that of course I love it, and that I actually have no doubt that the end, when it comes, is going to be satisfying and sweet. Some shows, you worry about the ending — there’s too much to answer, or too many impossible expectations for one hour of TV – and of course, we’ve all been burned before. A perfect ending is almost impossible (although not entirely). But while I don’t expect perfection here, I have to say that I am totally confident that the end will be a happy one, and sometimes that is enough. Additionally: those shorts are hideous.
I’ve already basically recapped George and Lavon’s plot for you, but this scene was particularly funny:
Flower Shop Worker Daisy basically will NOT hear anything from George — who went out with her once, and never called again –and every time he speaks, she dings the bell on the desk to shut him up. She IS, however, highly susceptible to the Charms of Football Star and Mayor Lavon Hayes, which is not a surprise. Who among us is immune to Cress Williams?
Rose has taken Zoe off to give “the health seminar” lecture to her “Tween Youth Troop” but it seems she didn’t tell Zoe that this is code for the Sex Ed talk:
It seems UNLIKELY to me that Rose would have failed to mention this at any point, but all you need to know is that Zoe goes full-on clinical (there is a drawing of fallopian tubes) and tells the girls not to have sex until they are at LEAST thirty-five, and seems flustered by all their many many questions (one of the girls, hilariously, is obsessed with Joelle; STEP OFF MY MAN, GIRL SCOUT), and then she has a full-on tizzy, telling the Tweens that they MUST CHECK THE EXPIRATION DATE ON THEIR CONDOMS because THEY CAN FAIL (thus nicely informing us all that she and Wade at least thought they were being safe) and that an unplanned pregnancy is too much for ANYONE to deal with MUCH LESS A TEENAGER. One very specific teenager — Rose — hears this and makes a, “ooooh, I know what’s happening” face. And after they leave, the two of them have a sincerely great scene, where Zoe tells Rose that she unexpectedly got “a curling iron” in the mail. “And you don’t like curling irons?” Rose asks. Zoe explains that she loves curling irons! “I always figured that one day, when my life was settled, I would have curly hair. But not now!” Rose wonders if Zoe can return the curling iron, and Zoe notes that she could “return” “the curling iron,” and it would be “a totally valid choice. I support all people who decide to…return their curling irons. But I kind of want to keep this one. Because I love the manufacturer. It’s the right manufacturer. Curling irons like this might be hard to come by later. And I have room for it…in my bathroom.” Rose totally gets it, and asks if this means that Zoe has decided she is going to keep her curling iron and Zoe appears to realize that she is. “I feel kind of overwhelmed by the idea of having…curly hair for the next eighteen years. For the rest of my life. That’s all.”
That was well done.
But I have notes on Lemon’s shorts:
ONLY Jaime King could approximate pulling those off. I do love her bracelet and her bag, though, and I love that she sits down and gives it to Wade very seriously (the truth, I mean, not her bag): She thinks Wade needs to apologize to Zoe for sleeping with her and then telling her he could never trust her again, and after he apologizes to her sufficiently, he needs to come up with a plan for how they’re going to make it work out for real this time. “And get a haircut. You look like a hermit,” she adds. Since she brought up hair and make-up, I’d like to note that everyone’s make-up looks WAY better this week, but I still can’t figure out what’s different about Wade’s face. Are his brows lighter now? Did he flip the part in his hair? Did he get an aggressive chemical peel? Am I crazy? Did I just forget what his face looked like?
Regardless, Zoe still likes it, because she sits behind a huge flower arrangement and agrees to go to dinner with him (in part because Rose reminds her that Wade is a good guy, in part because he sincerely apologizes for telling her he couldn’t trust her, and mostly because he tells her that he’s never felt about anyone the way he feels about her, and he thinks she’s worth the risk):
He even made DINNER RESERVATIONS.
Stanley, on the other hand, has tossed ALL OF CRICKETT’S DOLLS INTO MOBILE BAY. Even Mrs de Havilland. EVEN RHETT:
Oh, Stanley. Some things you just can take back. Elsewhere at the Farewell to Grandma Bette party, poor AB is losing her mind over the weight of all these secrets, and Grandma Bette figures this out and decides to get her drunk on something she SUSPICIOUSLY calls “The Truth Whisperer.” Both of them are quite funny in this scene, but here’s a tip from me to you, AB: When someone tells you that they consider their ability to “smell weakness a gift,” and that you SMELL LIKE IT, STOP TAKING FRUITY DRINKS FROM THAT PERSON:
Noticing that AB’s clearly about to spill all their dirt prompts Lemon and Brick to come clean with each other about their respective secret real/fake relationships, and while that’s great and stuff, we need to talk about whatever the heck Lemon is wearing. There may be a pinafore involved:
I’m glad these two are having a mutual Come to Jesus — and I loved hearing Lemon say that she refuses to “settle for some man” to save her restaurant — but what IS THAT? While they’re bickering, AB stands up and announces to the party that she can’t take this anymore, and if she tells one secret, SHE’S TELLING THEM ALL. “Purge yourself!” urges Grandma Bette, gleefully. But Brick steps in and tells his mother the truth before purging can commence. Thank god, this web of lies is about to unravel!
Over at some restaurant — does BlueBell HAVE a fine dining establishment now that Fancee’s is closed? — Wade tells Zoe that he has a plan for them to do this right and take it slow and blah blah blah, and she, of course, wigs out on him and is like IT’S TOO LATE FOR THAT:
And I am like OH MY GOD JUST TELL HIM ZOE, as she storms out and Wade’s mouth drops open. So he goes to the party to get some more Get A Grip Truth Talking from Lemon, but instead ends up hearing what he needs to hear from a drunk AB in this very cute dress:
“Wade, you are SO DUMB,” is all she says, before running off to gather Lemon to go help with Zoe. Who is eating cookies in her bathtub and crying, like you do:
This scene was actually great, in part, I think, because it was very touching in a meta way to see New Mom Jaime King tell her real-life pregnant friend Rachel Bilson that she’ll be a great mom, and that she’s going to be able to do it, and that she’s not going to raise a serial killer. There were parts of AB and Lemon’s sweet, friendly, loving pep-talk that felt more like the actors actually speaking to each other rather than acting, and it was really quite touching:
Even if Lemon’s dress is very mildly deranged.
Post pep-talk, Lemon heads back to the party in time for her Fake Boyfriend Henry to almost get arrested, because George and Lavon called Carl Winslow, and the story “broke on the blog that Henry Dalton is a fraud.” I don’t think it’s illegal to be a cheater? But Bill decides to take Henry in for questioning because he has decided Henry is running a Ponzi scheme? “I’ve SEEN The Music Man, my friend,” he says, and this is ridiculous but I also laughed out loud at that line.
Lemon, of course, comes clean here, and Grandma Bette rips the check for Fancee’s out of her hands and rips it up and STORMS OUT. (This entire episode was just people storming out of places.) Ugh, poor Lemon. Maybe when Henry gets his trust fund, he can invest in Fancee’s and they can be partners in business, if not in love.
And Wade’s drunk when Zoe tells him she’s pregnant, so he bursts out laughing. (Which does seem like a legit reaction.) His laughter fades when she tells him it’s okay, and she doesn’t expect anything from him, and then leaves without waiting for a reaction. (She, at least, does not storm out of this one.)
Her leather jacket is cute, and despite Wade being stunned by this — he stumbles back to George and Lavon in his cabin and tells them the news (“HOLY MOTHER OF GOD” is Lavon’s reaction) — something tells me these two are going to be okay. They’ve got eight episodes to figure it out.
