In which everyone gets a happy ending, and we have a brief O.C. reunion. Don’t get too excited: It is NOT Adam Brody.
Because this series finale needed some kind of dramatic narrative tension before we get to the crying and the kissing and the hugging and the dancing, when we kick off, Wade is annoyed that Lavon stole his proposal and luckily he has his strop about this whilst shirtless:
I will say that I like very much the flipped gender roles in this storyline, although I don’t really think that Wade would care about all that much about the proposal. I ALSO like that Zoe told Wade she was going to propose, and that now they’re having a conversation about when they’re doing to get married, not if. Wade wants to get on with it — and is a little shirty about the fact that they can’t — but Zoe doesn’t want to steal Lemon’s thunder, ESPECIALLY given that she kind of ruined Lemon’s last engagement party/wedding.
Speaking of Lemon and Lavon, they and their kitchen pastry have NEVER been happier:
Lemon is, in fact, so full of light and love that she asks Zoe to be one of her bridesmaids, and Zoe accepts. Once Lemon scampers off to get dressed and Zoe leaves to “go check on the lawyer George hired to fill in for him,” Lavon tells Wade that there’s nothing preventing HIM from getting engaged too, and Wade asks him to tell Lemon that he never intended to propose, which…this seems unnecessary to me. Zoe not wanting to steal Lemon’s thunder isn’t actually related to Lavon and Lemon being engaged, because they’re not going to DE-ENGAGE, because they love each other, and making Lavon burst Lemon’s bubble Zoe and Wade can get married makes no sense. Like, that horse is out of the barn, Wade. I guess Wade wants to establish that his engagement had technical, theoretical precedence and ergo no thunder can be stolen, but that wasn’t very well expressed — and also that’s insane — so this whole bit feels a little bit petty from Wade’s POV.
The lawyer taking over George’s cases while he’s off playing Music Manager in Nashville is none other than Autumn Reeser, AKA The O.C’s Taylor Townsend, and she’s obviously the New Zoe:
She’s dressed like Zoe used to dress, she is bewailing Alabama and everything in it, and she announces that she is a New Yorker multiple times. I am NEVER sorry to see Autumn Reeser, and she is funny here, as she almost always is. After some wigging out about snakes, she asks Zoe to deliver a contract to the new associate that Brick has hired and Zoe obviously FREEAAAAAKS out that Brick is REPLACING HER with NARY A WORD, but do not worry. This show does not end — spoiler! — with Zoe unemployed. Brick has instead hired a new associate and voila:
I hope she ALSO got a raise. Anyway, it’s very touching and Brick tells her that Harley would have been proud of her. (The associate is basically Dougie Houser — his name is even Dr Houston — and he winds up in a love triangle between Taylor Townsend and a new girl Wade’s hired to work at the Rammer Jammer; it’s a very charming revisit of how this all began.)
Speaking of happy endings:
JAYCEEEEnnne and Crickett and their colorful shirts are moving in together, and AB is so happy for them that she starts to cry, not with joy, but because she misses George and long-distance sucks and they have no game plan and she doesn’t know if he’s ever coming back. (And then he calls and says he IS coming back, which…I already went into why I think it’s nutty to give a character a lovely goodbye on one episode and then have him RIGHT BACK HOME in the next one, although I get why they did it. I will say that I thought the episode prior to this one was, essentially, perfect. I wish there had been some way to marry that plot line with this finale. That’s not a critique of this episode, which I thought was a lovely farewell to the show, but merely a statement that — as is almost always the case, actually — the penultimate episode really REALLY killed it.)
Speaking of George:
The Truitts and Meatball remain giant pains in George’s behind: Meatball doesn’t like living with their pet raccoon, and the Truitts think Meatball is too mean to said racoon, for instance. George gives them a song that he thinks will bring “a little bit of BlueBell to the rest of the world” to work on, and then wisely blows town. Do not ask me who wrote that song. Let’s just decide it was George.
Back in BlueBell, Lemon is honestly so so so so happy with Lavon — as well she ought to be; he’s the world’s hunkiest mayor and basically THE BEST — that even little hiccups in her party planning cannot bother her. Look at the fear and surprise on the faces of her family members when she notes that she doesn’t even care that the florist brought the wrong flowers! IT’S LIKE SHE’S A POD PERSON:
After Lemon leaves for her manicure, Brick tells the assembled (including Grandma Bette, who notes when Lemon hugs her that she dislikes displays of physical affection; Grandma Bette makes me laugh) that they have to make SURE this engagement party goes well given what happened the last time. Which I understand, but let’s get real. The last time, Lemon was left at the altar AND everything was DESTROYED BY A HURRICANE so it would be tough for it to go worse.
However, they get a good start on things going worse when all the waiters at Fancie’s come down with food poisoning. Brick doesn’t want to tell Lemon, so he goes around town trying to get people to pitch in and help. Tom and Wanda are SO DELIGHTED to be ACTUAL GUESTS this time that they flatly refuse:
Don’t worry, Brick ropes Frank and the Pritchetts into it. (The Prichetts are surprisingly bad at waiting tables, considering that they own a food truck.) He also ropes Wade into keeping Lemon occupied while he figures this staffing crisis out, and I’m very glad we got some solo Wade/Lemon time in this final episode. I love them together — in fact, the first season, when I hated Lemon, even I loved her when she was getting into shenanigans with Wade. God knows it was great when they owned the Rammer Jammer together, and I enjoyed that time they pretended to be dating. Lemon + Wade (in a platonic way) FOREVER!
You’ll all be happy to hear that Rose got into Columbia:
Rose delivers a soliloquy about how Zoe has been a role model and taught her how to be the woman she wants to be and I was about to roll my eyes really hard and then Zoe goes, “wow. Today has been…really intense,” and instead, I laughed. Well done, show. And to celebrate, Zoe gives Rose all her fancy New York shoes. Wear them in good health, Rose, and try not to date too many actors while you’re in New York.
AB’s dress is very cute here:
I’m not sure if I think George is really a red pants dude, but maybe Nashville has changed him. ALSO: I just decided that it’s a shame we can’t have a Nashville/Hart of Dixie crossover. It’s not like Scott Porter doesn’t know Connie Britton. Maybe George can just wander through the background of an episode of Nashville next season. Anyway, here George notes that “long distance won’t be forever,” and AB just takes this at face value and they run inside to bone. Obviously, later it comes up that he thinks she’ll move to him, and she thinks he’ll come back to her, and she wonders if they should just break up and he says he CAN’T HE LOVES HER and she loves him too and she moves to Nashville. Whoops, guess I just covered that entire plot line for you. God speed to them. (I actually like AB leaving BlueBell. She always wanted to have adventures, and now she’s having one. They can have adventures together.)
Lemon, no dummy, eventually realizes that something is up and that Wade has been dispatched to distract her from whatever it is. She’s also wearing a leather skirt?
Wade cracks and tells her about the food poisoning, and then she notices that his car has a boot on it. “Is that also part of my father’s ridiculous plan?” Lemon asks. “No, that is my bad,” Wade says, and for some reason, Wilson Bethel’s delivery of “that is my bad” was really weird and extremely funny. I hope he gets another job after this. I feel like, Rachel Bilson has a tiny baby, so she’ll be out of commission for a bit but will definitely get another TV gig eventually. Jaime King is about to HAVE another baby, so also might be occupied for a bit, but I also hope she lands somewhere new soon, too. (Cress Williams has been working basically non-stop for like 20 years so he’ll be fine, and I’m sure Jason Katims will stick Scott Porter [who is ALSO having a baby soon, so might be taking some of his own time off] in whatever he’s got percolating next.)
Zoe pops over to chat with Harley’s grave, in BlueBell’s VERY CRAMPED-LOOKING cemetery:
She thanks him for bringing her to BlueBell, where she’s finally found love and a home…and family members, in the form of Brando and Mrs Brando, who have popped by to bring flowers. Brando is a sharply dressed man. While they’re chatting, Zoe has what she says are Braxton Hicks contractions — but of course, those of us who have watched TV know that any contraction that happens on a series finale is for real — and they insist on giving her a ride home.
At Lemon and Lavon’s party — to which she is super late, due to Wade’s booted car — we learn a variety of things, like that Lemon has invited her New Sister Scarlett to the party but thank god not that awful Andie McPhee; that AB is ENRAGED that George thinks she’ll move to Nashville eventually; and that Tansy has moved back to BlueBell and Susie is delighted with how much money she’s bringing into the salon (later, we find out that Tansy is moving into the houseboat and I really would like to thank the writers of Hart of Dixie for always giving me answers to these tiny logistical questions I always have):
Zoe is TOTALLY in labor and in denial about it — the phrase, “Saul the shrimp guy? WHAT A CAD!” is used as cover up for her grimacing — and while the party goes on without them, Wade and Lemon have a conversation in which she tells him she’s not anxious about this wedding and this party because she’s finally marrying the right man. Wade asks her how she’d feel if someone “stole [her] thunder,” and she says, “I would be honored to share my thunder with you.” NEVER LEAVE ME LEMON I WILL MISS YOU MOST OF ALL.
At the party, Lavon tells their engagement story — THEIR ENGAGEMENT LIE — to the entire party, and you can tell that he feels bad about living this falsehood, especially when Grandma Bette says, “I am a cold-hearted witch and that story really gets me!” and then the minister tells them this is a story they can tell their children. THE GUILT! IT’S TOO MUCH!
And in fact it really is too much, because he tells Lemon the truth after she and Wade finally show up:
“I didn’t need the perfect flowers. Or to get here on time. Or not to smell like a brewery. But I did need to actually be engaged at my engagement party,” Lemon says, and then leaves. She is not happy. I cannot blame her. (Also, Jaime King’s makeup looks great in this scene.)
On her way out, Lemon runs into Wade and Zoe, who are arguing about whether Zoe is in labor — a question that is answered when Zoe’s water breaks on Lemon’s feet:
Yeah, that was bound to happen.
While Zoe and Wade are settling into the hospital, everyone is dealing with the fall-out of the revelation of Lemon’s non-proposal. All the Belles are enraged with Lavon and drinking their sorrows away:
…and Lavon is roping everyone into helping him give Lemon “the proposal she deserves.” Lavon, I will miss your jaunty hats:
I am not sure if Lemon’s Proposal of a Lifetime REQUIRED Tom in a plaid shorts suit? But who am I to judge? But Lavon’s got everything else, including, thanks to Grandma Bette, a gorgeous engagement ring. Also a tiny harpist.
But Lavon sends George to fetch Lemon, and when he gets distracted by arguing with AB about their Long Distance Relationship Issues, EVERYONE goes to the hospital instead:
Just the idea of having that many people in a room with me while I am having a baby makes me want to throw things. But Zoe says that because everyone in BlueBell is family, no one has to leave. They just have to go north of the pelvic exam. And Zoe then decides that, because literally everyone in town is there, she wants to get married. THEN AND NOW. Honestly, BlueBell DOES love An Event, so everyone goes into their well-honed Event Mode: Tom gets Zoe’s mom on Facetime, Crazy Earl brought Wade a tie, George and AB are sent to get flowers and rings (“I don’t know what’s going on with you two and I don’t care,” Wade tells them, and the good news is that it is on this errand that they exchange the aforementioned ILUs), and Lavon takes Lemon to find Reverend Mayfair.
On the way, they go ahead and get engaged their ownselves, and it’s very romantic. Lavon tells her she deserves the perfect proposal, and Lemon tells him that their LIFE is going to be perfect. The proposal doesn’t have to be. And so he pulls over and asks her to marry him right by the side of the road:
She, obviously, says yes, and they smooch. And my favorite part might be when Reverend Mayfair, RIGHT after this moment, pops out from the backseat crying with joy for them. “That was BEAUTIFUL,” he announces.
Back at the hospital, Wade finds a rabbi — “Rabbi Paymer,” in an obvious shout-out to EP David Paymer — and the doc announces that it is GO TIME, and that Zoe’s got to get to Delivery. So Rabbi Paymer and Reverend Mayfair marry Zoe and Wade in the hallway, as they head toward the delivery room. It’s very romantic, all “with you I know true love,” and “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you,” and “Zoe Hart, you’ve turned my damn world upside down and you’ve made me a better man. I am so excited to be your husband, and our little boy’s Daddy, and I will do everything to make you just as happy as you have made me.”
Tom ugly cries the entire way:
WE ARE ALL TOM.
And, once successfully wed, Zoe and Wade have this HUGE BABY:
No wonder she was in pain. (Also, Zoe has the best hair and makeup of any woman straight out of the delivery room, EVER. BlueBell really is a fantasy place.) And then Meatball and the Truitts show up, telling George they’ve worked on that song he gave them, and they sing it…and suddenly everyone joins in:
And the show ends on a sort of fantastical, fantasy musical number, the lyrics of which include a Hart/heart pun, which seems only fair. Hart of Dixie SHOULD end with a very loving and hugely corny choreographed singing number. It’s only right:
As the entire town — EXCEPT STANLEY! Last time we saw him, he was popping out of his Spa on Wheels, just having survived a crash! STANLEY LOVES THE DANCE! I miss you, Stanley, and I hope you’re not off in traction somewhere — sings and dances and celebrates:
Lemon and Lavon get married and they both look as beautiful as you’d imagine:
Tom wears his Cat Shirt once more, and I accidentally cut off half of Carl Winslow’s head. Sorry, Carl Winslow:
(I hope the llamas are okay.)
AB moves to Nashville!
This huge and lovely blended family has Sunday meals together where NO ONE sits on one side of that table, NOT EVER:
Grandma Hart — who refuses to be called Grandma — meets (and presumably loves) her giant, cuddly grandson:
The Belles continue to invest in cheerful day dresses:
Zoe and Brick roll their eyes at the love triangle in which Dougie Houser has found himself:
Wade says to Zoe, “what? Did you think we were the only love triangle ever? Did you never hear about Shula, Thelma, and Sergeant Jeffries?”
“Do you think all small towns are like this one?” Zoe asks him, after he tells her about this Former Triangle of Legend, and Wade tells her that he’d like to think so. “But probably not. I do know I love ours,” he says. Zoe agrees. And they kiss. And that’s all she wrote, folks.
Goodbye, BlueBell. You will be missed. And thanks for all the kitchen pastries.