Fugger: Jennie Garth
A) Yes, we have seen the Old Navy ads where Jennie Garth has to choose between Dylan and Brandon (and where she chooses not herself, but jeans — which is kind of choosing oneself, as jeans are a wonderful gift to yourself). I appreciate Old Navy for realizing the glory that is 90210 Original Flavor, and can only hope that eventually Marcia Cross will agree to appear in a Melrose Place version that involves ripping off a bucket hat or something.
Maybe do some re-choosing as far as this one goes, Kelly?
I don’t mind the outfit. And I like the sassy short hair.
But I am concerned that Jennie’s divorce, which might send most people into a vat of salted caramel ice cream, has instead shoved her into a vat of salted caramel bronzer. I’m all for her choosing herself, but she might want to choose a little exfoliant tonight too.
So many thoughts:
A) Why is Jennie Garth at the CMT Awards?
B) Ah, yes, because she has some reality show on CMT;
C) About which Kelly Taylor would be horrified.
D) Ditto about the amount of times Jennie Garth went to People to talk about the demise of her marriage and how the announcement of such neatly coincided with the premier of said reality show. Kelly Taylor was a lot of things: a burn victim; a murderer (in self defense); the victim of attempted rape, twice; Single White Femaled; a cult member; a top model; a victim of date rape; a coke addict; a miscarriage sufferer; a gunshot victim; a boyfriend stealer; the roommate of irritating virgin Donna Martin; the stepsister of, and object of lust for irritating slow jam enthusiast David Silver; a person whose baby sister got lost at the park one day when David Silver was in the middle of 24 hour meth addiction; someone with endometriosis; a really sanctimonious social worker who once argued against a gay couple adopting Jessica Alba’s baby, like, what is wrong with you, Kelly?; forced to make out with Brandon; a person who left someone (Brandon) at the altar (that was kind of mutual); someone who chose herself; an unrepentant wearer of bike shorts; and kind of a bitch. But she would NEVER paint herself as the victim to People magazine for her reality show, even though a lot of the time she really WAS a victim and also she probably should have had a reality show.
E) What the hell is growing on her?