Royally Played: Wills & Kate & George & Charlotte Take Canada, Day Six


So, this engagement was super cute. Not surprisingly. George seemed….DOUBTFUL about much of the event. I’m sure Prince NoodleCheeks SweetieFace spends a lot of time thinking, “Why are all these weirdos STARING at me?” Charlotte, on the other hand, was mostly deeply focused on balloons, which also seems totally apt. Balloons are neat. She does, however, seem to share some of her great-aunt Anne’s Expressions of Great Suspicion, which is always welcome in a young person. Be alert, kids. You never know what kind of plans are afoot.

Additionally: Charlotte LOVES balloons. Like LOVES THEM:

More adorable (and long-ish) video can be seen here; I think Wills is getting home from this party and immediately placing an order for a miniature horse.

[Photos: Getty Images]

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Fugs and Fabs: The Rest of the Westworld Premiere


I have a mental block against this show. I’ve read the Entertainment Weekly TV preview, I’ve Googled it a bunch, I’ve read the reviews, and I STILL cannot remember what it’s about except that there are robots and maybe the Old West? I keep wanting to call it either Waterworld or Westways, like HBO would ever greenlight a show about a) the AAA magazine, or b) any Kevin Costner movie from after 1993.*

Also, spoiler: There is a Hemsworth in here. Just not the one you think. Or the other one you think.

[*You guys, if you ever wanted proof of the occasional mind-meld Heather and I experience, it is that we both independently wrote a post wherein we referenced Waterworld today. - J]

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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Fug or Fab: Thandie Newton in Duro Olowu


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It goes without saying that Thandie Newton is terrifically good-looking. See:

Premiere Of HBO's "Westworld" - Arrivals

Second of all: I thought this (very pattern-y) look was separates for HOURS until just now, when I saw a photo of her from the side and noticed the skirt pattern climbs into the top pattern, proving it it is, indeed, a dress. (Despite that stellar detective work, I don’t have a credit for its designer at the moment.) More important than anything though: I have to admit that I gasped with joy and clutched at my own bosom when I realized that she is in Westworld and will be on our TVs weekly.  And I don’t even want to watch Westworld, and up until like ten minutes ago I actually thought it was it was remake of Waterworld. You guys, for like a year I thought they were remaking infamous Kevin Costner flop Waterworld. I was INCREDIBLY CONFUSED by this decision, but you know! People make strange choices in Hollywood all the time! And yet I am still pleased to know that I can turn on my TV and see Thandie Newton, even if — perhaps especially if — she’s not trapped in a dystopian 80s flop. She certainly doesn’t seem to be in a dystopian mood.

[Photos: Getty Images]

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Fug or Fab: Rosario Dawson at the Premiere of Luke Cage


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Rosario Dawson is SO DELIGHTED to be out of the house for this event, and it’s kind of adorable. In fairness, she DID get to hug Mike Colter — who wouldn’t be giddy?

[Photos: Getty Images]

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Recent Fugs or Fabs: Kate Hudson


Okay, I’m going to use my powers here as the person who is writing this post to ask a question that has nothing to do with what Kate is wearing here: Am I the only person who watches her Fabletics ad and thinks, “is Kate DRUNK here?” I don’t think she IS drunk, please note. I just think she SOUNDS kinda drunk. And the truth is that, Drunk Kate Hudson Sells Athletic Wear is TOTALLY a show I would watch on QVC. Like, not “oh no, is she…drunk??” drunk. Like, the entire point of said show would just be that Kate Hudson intentionally mows through a bottle of wine while trying to sell you some capri-length leggings. Consider this, Kate. It would be a hoot. (I secretly really have a lot of affection for Kate Hudson. What can I say?)

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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Katching Up With The Kardashians


So, Kimberly here — while in Paris in this outfit — was assaulted by that dipshit douchepickle asshat who has made a name for himself by ambushing celebrities in front of paparazzi or red carpet cameras. (I will not print his photo or use his name, because I refuse to give him the satisfaction.) And make no mistake, despite the fact that Kim was uninjured and he did not hit her, what he is doing is still assault. He lunged out and attempted to kiss her ass. In 2014, he dove at America Ferrera on the Cannes red carpet and climbed under her dress. He has shoved Kim to the ground before, once lunged at and buried his face in Leonardo DiCaprio’s crotch at a film festival, kissed Will Smith at a premiere, hugged Ciara while wearing a thong at a Valentino show, and then mere days ago, fully picked up Gigi Hadid and attempted to carry her off, before she elbowed him. Gigi, hideously, was rewarded with headlines implying she was being rude to a fan. HELLO. Even if it had not been The Usual Prankster, it’s not acceptable to stroll up to a person and PICK THEM UP AND LEAVE WITH THEM. That’s essentially kidnapping, even if you only take them one block away. It’s also invasive and appalling, as are all his little “jokes,” and I cannot believe this jackwagon bilgewad is still roaming the streets getting off on what he clearly thinks are cheeky and hilarious hijinks that are making him famous. As if people in the world don’t have enough to worry about, and as if celebrities aren’t skittish enough about their personal safety. You are the worst, sir.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

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Dramatically Played: Rihanna at FENTY x PUMA at Paris Fashion Week


I’ll be honest with you: I don’t even entirely know what the point of Rihanna’s FENTY x PUMA collection is supposed to be. The few photos I’ve seen make it look like an addlepated hybrid of Yeezy and Victoria’s Secret Pink and, like, Giambattista Valli — but all with different degrees of each. Rihanna’s own outfit is the most dramatic.

Rihanna

She looks INSANE but my God I want an invitation to that slumber party. Everyone would get personalized fans with their names on it, and a signature Champagne cocktail, and she would project classic movies like When Harry Met Sally and the Anne of Green Gables miniseries on the naked and perfect chests of male models standing on risers of varying heights. Every dip served would be delectable and calorie-free. We’d each have our own facialist. Drake would show up at one point and write a short poem about each one of us, and then he’d rap it and it wouldn’t be very good actually but we’d clap politely and high-five him and he’d cry a little from pure joy. We’d wake up the next morning to the sound of Angela Lansbury singing “Beauty and the Beast,” and leave with moisturizer made from weed because Rihanna decided a “pot moisturizer pot” was a funny palindrome and some of her stash had gone bad anyway so it was no skin off her nose. Jay-Z would call to make sure we all got our free memberships to Tidal, which we’d politely throw away later or pawn off on a distant cousin. An epic event, to be sure.

[Photo: Getty]

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