Friends, I thought this was pants at first. And when I did, I thought, “I wish I could be any Fug National who is seeing this for the first time,” because you don’t soon forget that feeling of pure discovery when you stumble into a SWEET CRACKER SANDWICH.

She looks like a high-end clown who caught the bubonic plague.

Further:

Slits in this style are a problem. It turns her skirt into gargantuan labia, and couture genitalia are not on my menu.

[Photo: Getty]