Janet here is a British actress who stars on that new CBS show that I call Faaaancy Laaaaady Laaaaawyer because of this one really annoying line in the promo, and which is basically the premise, “What if Mona Lisa Vito Became An Attorney And Started Shopping At Ann Taylor?” And indeed, in the promo reel, she’s all soft suits and flowing hair and Jersey-lite, ready to take the legal world by storm and prove to them you CAN have a curling iron and still win in court.
And at the CBS fall season event, she went in a more severe direction. (I actually kept thinking this was Ashley Greene.) It’s a bit less Fancy Lady Lawyer than Fancy Lady Dominatrix Getting Dressed Up To Testify. There’s something cool here in the outfit — specifically, the skirt — but we need to solve this unfortunate mammarial shine problem (Mammarial Shine Problem — band name, mark it down). If it weren’t turning her torso into an ad for nipple patches, and it didn’t have only half a collar, we might be in business. This doesn’t fix the problem of the shoes, which make her feet look like she’s either standing en pointe or devoid of toes, but… one thing at a time. Although actually, no: ALL things at a time. Solve it all. Do you just change the material of the top so it’s opaque, or do you cut in a bit of a neckline also? Sleeveless or sleeved? And what shoes would you put with it? Do you inject color or keep the dark theme? And did you also think it was Ashley Greene, and then realize with surprise that we’ve arrived at a place where Ashley Greene is somebody we know enough to mistake other people for? And wasn’t that some awkward syntax?