Fug File: metallics

Eva Fuggoria


This event was in the name of HER foundation, partially…

… so someone should’ve found her a dress that didn’t look like a chocolate wrapper flattened by a child’s motorized 4×4. Or at LEAST teach the child to run over it in a way that gives it a flattering shape. MY GOD, WOMAN. Don’t you KNOW who you ARE?

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

 

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Met Gala Feh Carpet: Leighton Meester in Emilio Pucci


I really want to like this, but it has similar problems to an Elie Saab that Angelina Jolie wore not long ago.

That being, it’s not super flattering to the chest. I love the idea of a gold art-deco demi-caftan, but the way it hangs off her makes her look a lot more… gravitationally  touched. And the shoes make it Cheesecake on the Lanai rather than Big Fancy Gala.  I know she’s maturing and all, but this IS a woman who once wore a tulle Marchesa jumpsuit. She CAN go bigger and braver than this, and she’s certainly more interesting and young than it’s allowing. Mostly, though, I’m just sad that so much kick-ass fabric is being wasted on a gown that creating anti-mammarial optical illusions. AND on a night when her former co-star’s chest looked so resplendent. Serena Van Der Woodsen wins again.

[Photo: Getty]

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Met Ball Feh Carpet: Rita Ora in Donna Karan


I hate to repeat what I said on Twitter, but I know not everyone reads it, and what I wrote there is still the first thing I think. Which is: Rita always poses like the manufacturer forgot to level her when she was made.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fug or Fab: Karen Gillan (with an assist from Matt Smith)


Well, it’s a slow Friday, and we’re all winding down right about now, dreaming of our first cocktail of the night. So this one’s for all you Doctor Who lovers out there.

Let’s get the dress out of the way: I quite like the shiny, textured bits, but they’re laid over mesh, and then the sleeves seem to belong to a different dress altogether; I wish we could take the all the Bits and make a proper fabric out of them and try THAT on for size. Also, she needs some lip color; I’m going to give her a pass on the bracelet malarkey because we can’t see her left arm, as she is busy wearing her former co-star as an accessory. (We should probably discuss that tagline, though, and whether we think someone pitched this movie by saying, “What if the Harry Potter Mirror of Erised… WAS EVIL?”)

Anyhoo: I was trying to figure out if these two chipper youths are dating, and only came up with: a) the EP warned them against it while they were on the show; b) the fan base deeply seems to WANT them to be removing each other’s pants, and c) their Wikipedia pages have been scrubbed of any personal details. So let your Spidey Senses run wild in the comments, Fug Nation. Call it a Friday Fan-Fic, if you like.

But the dress:

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[Photo: Getty]

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Well Played, Sarah Jessica Parker


I was going to suggest that SJP often seems a lot less cheery when she’s making the rounds with The Brod. But she looks perfectly happy here. So much for my thoughtless rumor-mongering.

I ALSO rather like her outfit. It’s something not a lot of 48-year olds could pull off, but she does, and effortlessly. I much prefer fun, shiny, buoyant Sarah Jessica Parker to Twee SJP, dowdy SJP, or Pagan priestess SJP. It may not be as heartily amusing as Insane SJP, but what is? That bar is set so high not even a pole vaulter could clear it.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug or Fab: Emmy Rossum


Well, her hair and makeup have improved since last time, although something about the lipstick here gives me the quick-take impression that she just ate a peach or something and it’s smeared all over her mouth.

And I love almost all of the dress,  but can’t escape the notion that I wish it ended as it began instead of defaulting to a plain fringe curtain. It’s not the dress’s fault that the world is a place where these terms exist, but nonetheless: You never want to be the outfit that makes the words “golden shower” come to mind.

Give it the treatment:

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[Photo: Getty]

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