Fug File: metallics

Fug or Fab: Karen Gillan (with an assist from Matt Smith)


Well, it’s a slow Friday, and we’re all winding down right about now, dreaming of our first cocktail of the night. So this one’s for all you Doctor Who lovers out there.

Let’s get the dress out of the way: I quite like the shiny, textured bits, but they’re laid over mesh, and then the sleeves seem to belong to a different dress altogether; I wish we could take the all the Bits and make a proper fabric out of them and try THAT on for size. Also, she needs some lip color; I’m going to give her a pass on the bracelet malarkey because we can’t see her left arm, as she is busy wearing her former co-star as an accessory. (We should probably discuss that tagline, though, and whether we think someone pitched this movie by saying, “What if the Harry Potter Mirror of Erised… WAS EVIL?”)

Anyhoo: I was trying to figure out if these two chipper youths are dating, and only came up with: a) the EP warned them against it while they were on the show; b) the fan base deeply seems to WANT them to be removing each other’s pants, and c) their Wikipedia pages have been scrubbed of any personal details. So let your Spidey Senses run wild in the comments, Fug Nation. Call it a Friday Fan-Fic, if you like.

But the dress:

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[Photo: Getty]

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Well Played, Sarah Jessica Parker


I was going to suggest that SJP often seems a lot less cheery when she’s making the rounds with The Brod. But she looks perfectly happy here. So much for my thoughtless rumor-mongering.

I ALSO rather like her outfit. It’s something not a lot of 48-year olds could pull off, but she does, and effortlessly. I much prefer fun, shiny, buoyant Sarah Jessica Parker to Twee SJP, dowdy SJP, or Pagan priestess SJP. It may not be as heartily amusing as Insane SJP, but what is? That bar is set so high not even a pole vaulter could clear it.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug or Fab: Emmy Rossum


Well, her hair and makeup have improved since last time, although something about the lipstick here gives me the quick-take impression that she just ate a peach or something and it’s smeared all over her mouth.

And I love almost all of the dress,  but can’t escape the notion that I wish it ended as it began instead of defaulting to a plain fringe curtain. It’s not the dress’s fault that the world is a place where these terms exist, but nonetheless: You never want to be the outfit that makes the words “golden shower” come to mind.

Give it the treatment:

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[Photo: Getty]

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Oscars Fug Carpet: Heidi Klum


Heidi Klum is still gorgeous. Why doesn’t she trust that?

[Photos: Getty]

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Fug or Fab: Elizabeth Banks


Something about this dress reminds me of Jennifer Lawrence — as if it just missed the cut for her Hunger Games promo tour, and then got handed down to somebody who promised to give it a good home, or rather, a good shoe.

Elizabeth definitely lived up to the shoe promise. The dress itself, though, has a definite Sexy Alien vibe to it — which doesn’t have to be a bad thing; I just can’t tell if it works on her here. Maybe it needed romantic hair, as opposed to a semi-severe updo that reminds me faintly of Max Headroom. Or maybe my mind is playing tricks on me: At some point I wondered what this would’ve looked like if the front were actually the back, and so it’s possible my brain now can’t see it any other way. But I THINK overall I dig it, with some minor imaginary tailoring to her head suit. There’s always something.

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[Photo: Getty]

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Oscar Well Played, Meryl Streep


It’s always good news when your outfit inadvertently matches your award. I don’t think there’s anyway she planned that, given that she seemed sincerely stunned by her win — as were we, honestly. Viola, I had my money on you.

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