Fug File: athletes

Fugs and Fabs: Dudes of the ESPYs


The ESPYs are always a night of such touching understatements.

[Photos: Getty]

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Well Played, Serena Williams (and JK Rowling)


Serena Williams is not perfect, sportsmanship-wise, and I know this. But I still love her. I love that she is self-assured and proud of the wondrous body she’s worked a lifetime to sculpt, and I love that she’s so passionate about its power, and the ways that power can wreak havoc on a tennis ball. She ripped her way through her sport, to where the story is not about her race, nor her gender, but just that she’s The Best. Period. So, yeah, sometimes she grouses and complains when she loses, or comes across as petulant on the court, and that’s not my favorite. But for me, the great things about Serena Williams — and what Serena Williams might mean to any number of people who turn on the TV or pay money to watch her play — outweigh that.

serena williams wimbledon champions

She is a work of art. That dress is a privilege to behold on her. But still there are fools who don’t see beauty in strength, and so I’m going to do as I wish I could always do and let JK Rowling speak for me.

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Well Played, USA Women’s Soccer Team: World Cup 2015 Champions


After a very flat, uninspiring push through pool play, these women picked one HELL of a time to peak.

* I realized that, uncharacteristically, I forgot to mention how cranky the uniforms make me. Why did Nike decide that white, green, and neon-yellow are USA colors — and why is Japan playing in hot pink and blue? It’s insane to me that we are hoisting the World Cup AND our own flag looking like the alumni soccer team at the University of Oregon (which, yes, has big fiscal ties to Nike). CRABBY. The end.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fugs and Fabs: The 2015 NBA Draft


Let’s be honest. The real sartorial winner of the draft was Syracuse’s Rakeem Christmas, but the photo is not in any of our subscriptions. And it breaks my heart, because LOOK AT WHAT HE IS WEARING. My husband called it the NBA Draft Formalwear version of an Ugly Christmas Sweater, and he is wise.

Still, by and large, the rest of this night proved the NBA is way more fun than the NFL, at least in terms of clothing. It is, however, slightly less in my wheelhouse if we’re talking actual player analysis, but whatever. I’ll make it up.

[Photos: Getty]

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Well Played, Jubilant Men In Beards: Chicago Blackhawks Win the Stanley Cup


The Blackhawks just won their third Cup in six seasons (the other three were the Kings twice GO KINGS GO and the Boston Bruins once), and it was the first time in seventy-seven years they’ve won the cup on home ice. I’m pleased because my mother is from Chicago, so the Blackhawks are who I root for when my own teams — L.A., Calgary, Pittsburgh — wet the bed. And also, I had a hankering for some jubilant beard photos, which never go out of style. I just hope the team Instagram posts a bunch of photos of an ever-increasing mountain made of beard clippings.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fugs and Fabs: The 2015 NFL Draft


Three of the top four picks skipped the dog-and-pony show in Chicago in favor of watching it at home — though Jameis Winston did it with his trademark subtlety, by putting a step-and-repeat and a red carpet OUTSIDE HIS HOUSE. Have fun with that one, Tampa Bay.

But, we have plenty of other suits to ogle, so let’s dive in and complain anew about how EASY it would be to get a clean shot of everyone in their suits. Just have them stop and smile for a full-length before they go on-stage, if not all of them are going onto the red carpet. JUST THINK OF THE FASHION BLOGGERS, ROGER GOODELL.

[Photos: Getty]

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