Fug File: athletes

Fugsey Vonn/Fug or Fab, Lindsey Vonn

First, can we talk about how they’re bringing the (now officially) retired Johnny Weir to Sochi to do commentary? This could bode excellently for my enjoyment level of the Winter Olympics. If I can’t have Dick Button puncturing the dopey non-commentary with cranky opinions, I hope Johnny will at least dose us with some honesty. While also sticking it to the political situation over there.

And that brings us to probable Sochi Olympian Lindsey Vonn, who is making the rounds right now:

That is a terrible sweater. The whole outfit is certainly daytime casual, but it’s also terribly dull, and I seriously think — in addition to being the enemy of hips everywhere — that the top looks like it’s breaking out into meth acne.

She dressed up a bit more to visit Letterman:

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Fug the Uniforms: NCAA Football So Far

Otherwise known as, “Why Is Everyone Trying To Out-Crazy Oregon?” It’s not an exhaustive slideshow from the season so far — there are a ton of games not in our subscription, for some reason — but it’s a serviceable tasting platter.

But may I vent? Okay: Is there anyone who would ONLY knows about breast cancer because of these sports jostling to be the pinkest of the pink during October? Did anyone watch the Oregon game and think, “Huh. Breast cancer. I WAS UNAWARE.” It’s not that I begrudge good intentions; it’s that Pinktober is beginning to feel more like a time for self-congratulation, and pandering to female viewers, than doing any actual good for the cause. This isn’t isolated to sports, and I am not trying to single out Oregon — I’ve heard that a lot of these pink products actually end up sending very little money to breast-cancer charities — but there is a point where pomp and PR circumstance mean nothing if you aren’t backing it up. The absurdly rich NFL apparently donates an embarrassingly minimal amount of money to the cause it spends all month so fervently cuddling, via pink decor and pink merchandise. If the color inspires other people to donate, then great, but that is also a very passive approach to take by these organizations. It feels half-hearted and half-assed. If these people want to pink it up, and have it NOT come across as disingenuous, then spend less time making pointless pink penalty flags and more time on league-wide fundraising and giving with significant percentages going where it matters and not back in their pockets. Don’t just say, “See? Look! Pink! We love breasts! Now here’s a nickel.”

[Photos: Getty]


Fugs, Fabs, and Fines: The Miu Miu Party at the Venice Film Festival

If it’s a Miu Miu party, can we assume they’re all wearing Miu Miu?

[Photos: Getty]


Weirly Played, Johnny Weir

Booty shorts, a demi-skirt, a leather vest, wings, and a gilded goblet of champagne: He’s like the biker angel of Kotex.

This had better be Johnny’s rehearsal for his potential Olympic long program, and if it is, I will re-enact this while watching it.

[Photo: Getty]


Fugs and Fabs: BNP Paribas Tennis Event

Love the color, like the design, don’t love the bunching… but still, I think Serena Williams’ cranial magic is doing enough work to compensate for the rest of it.

[Photos: Getty]


Halfway Well Played, Serena Williams

Well, after announcing she’d be “Maria Sugarpova” and then cancelling it, Sharapova then pulled out of the U.S. Open altogether with a shoulder injury. It was, to say the least, an intriguing forty-eight hours in her life.

Meanwhile, fellow tennis queen Serena Williams is just casually slamming it over at Letterman, where an awestruck child has replaced the Letterman Dumpster (which is a shame — after years of faithful service, that thing should get to enjoy the views when they are good). Her hair looks fantastic and her presence, as a whole, is so freaking foxy that I’m inclined to forgive the fact that I can see a navel divot.  However, I’m not sure I can be as relaxed about the shoes, which appear crudely secured with twine from the Wild West era — like a remnant of a very kinky afternoon with Billy the Kid and his favorite fringed vest.

Still, I admire her. Forget Tiger Woods’ hunt for 18 major titles in golf: Serena is the only active tennis player to have achieved a career Golden Slam in both singles AND doubles, holds the most combined singles, doubles, and mixed-doubles titles out of all active players male or female, and has 31 Grand Slam titles, which puts her at eighth on the all-time list (all from Wikipedia). And she’s still going. And she’s not even PRETENDING she’s going to change her name to Serena Miami Dolphins (she owns a piece of the team) or Serena Who Is Currently Developing A TV Script (per Wikipedia again). So, you go, lady. Keep your temper in check and WIN.

[Photo: Splash]