Kids’ Choice Awards Fug Carpet: Heidi Klum

I mean, truth time: her face at least always looks pretty great:

And I actually think the dress is very pretty: simple, flattering, classy. I just wish she hadn’t paired it with boots that look like they were designed to be worn on Halloween when you’ve been relegated to the back end of a two-person elephant costume. And knowing how much Heidi loves Halloween, they may very well be just that. Sigh — now that she and Seal are kaput, who will be the head of her elephant? You’ve got six months to figure it out, babe. Choose wisely.

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Comments (40):

  1. Kit

    !! !!!!!!!

    The “these boots make my legs look wasted and diseased” ruined what was going to be, perhapst not great but really good.

    ::sigh:: Why must she always bring the fuggetry?

  2. Chasmosaur

    Actually, I thought they were boots for a hooker costume.

    • Charlotte

      Ugh, can we please retire the whole “thigh-high boots = hooker boots” meme already? It’s a vaguely sexist cultural dinosaur of a joke that stopped being funny five fucking years ago.

  3. Kara

    Lose the boots and she’d look gorgeous. It would be great with some fun flats, since this is a casual event.

  4. Amber

    Say what you will about the boots (they are bad, no lie), but I wish I had legs that could even fit into a pair of those boots. Or a body that would look like that in that dress.

  5. Erin

    I think the boots are overshadowing what is going on at the neckline. Does the dress have a hood? It’s pulling strangely…

  6. Amy

    See, this is the definition of fug…. She has that FACE and that BODY and MONEY and access to some of the most beautiful fashions in the world, yet she can’t match a shoe to a dress. Go figure.

    • Megan


      It’s times like these that I wish Cher Horowitz’s outfit-matcher was a real thing.

      Then again, it would be so boring if everyone wore perfectly-matched ensembles everywhere they went. (This is why I’m getting a bit of Kate Middleton fatigue. For ONCE, I’d like to see her wearing slightly clashing colors.)

      • Mair Mair

        Honestly, you can’t even rely on mirrors. That’s why I take Polaroids.

    • Rubee

      Amen! Amen! I also wonder why she’s on “Kid’s Choice Awards”… A real kid is not supposed to be awake at Project Runaway showtime, even less go through Victoria’s Secret catalogues…

  7. Miss Tee

    Those boots are almost pants. Which is something she’s usually lacking. Irony.

  8. Lynne

    This right here?

    “…look like they were designed to be worn on Halloween when you’ve been relegated to the back end of a two-person elephant costume.”

    Is my favorite thing on the internet today. As is this:

    “…who will be the head of her elephant?”

    But to the point, I’ll say the dress is very pretty. She is very pretty. Boots gotta go.

  9. liz_bee

    HEIDI KLUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is all.

  10. vandalfan

    I am suspicious of the back. The bodice would look much better if The Girls had a little help, support-wise, so maybe it’s open down to her undoubtedly perky plumber’s crack. And maybe those are stylish hip-waders, and the road to her cabin has been washed out so she has to walk in? No, half a pantomime elephant, for sure.

    • Art Eclectic

      That’s exactly what I was thinking. The Girls need some shape and lift. They look like they’re trying to slide off her chest. Which, sadly, happens to us all after a certain age.
      Good support is a requirement at a certain point, even if you’re a smaller cup.

  11. cc

    I love her and I like what she wears on Project Runway… err, what her stylist probably makes her wear on Project Runway. I’m usually on board with her style despite the occasional tang of fug.

  12. Ms Poopy Von Pants

    I thought they were thigh-high legwarmers, which made me wonder how fit/thin one’s legs would have to be to still look svelte while wearing legwarmers on your thighs.

    Besides the elephant-costume boots, she looks great. If I were going through a public breakup I would be hibernating for weeks in my jammies watching SATC repeats with a bottle of wine in front of me. But I guess that’s why she’s Heidi Klum and I’m not…

  13. Moi

    Either no boots or a below-the-knee hemline.

    But that swath of skin between the two is just so . . . non-committal.

  14. Katharine

    These boots pay tribute to Nora Batty’s stockings : it’s an unexpected tribute from Heidi Klum, but I think she should go the whole hog at Halloween and don a turban as well.

  15. Chrissy

    Her outfit choices have not been great the last year or two. I’d say about two seasons ago she had really nice outfits for Project Runway with terrific jewelry. But I guess someone else was choosing those?

  16. Girlin

    The Boots are VILE! However..the dress is just lovely on her – actually if we close-upped the shot…she’d totally be well-played….but those boots let her down…..all the way to FUG!

  17. SarahK

    I may be the only one, but I LOVE the boots!

  18. Ruby

    classic scroll down fug. were it not for the boots, she would actually looked quite seal worthy.

  19. Guerra

    I love this!! Those boots are epic!!!!

  20. Sajorina

    The dress is cute & the boots are badass, but they don’t go together!!! FAIL!

  21. Remi

    if those legs were the hindpart of an elephant…I would definetly want to feed that elephant a sandwich. Or you know, loads of sandwiches…it being an elephant and all.

    Btw, she contrasts amazingly with all the black suits around her. If it wasnt for the girl in the light coat I’d say she staged it.

  22. Franziska

    Ditch the boots, add a couple of inches to the dress and you look ok for the Kids Choice Awards.

  23. neiges

    I could never ever understand these boots, but perhaps I am just jealous of her legs here.

  24. Katharine

    I don’t mind the boots. I see I am alone in that. I think this whole thing would work, in a minimalist woman-of-the-future kind of way, if only the dress wasn’t so tight.

  25. Jen M

    Squeaking this one out quietly, then ducking…..I like it.

  26. katkin74

    They are both good, just not together. When I first saw this, my brain was like, “why are her legs gray?” The elephant analogy totally explains it.

  27. Phoebe

    Another vote for being secretly in love with this look… *looks around sheepishly*

  28. Charlotte

    Yeah, I like this too. I actually love the whole “mod mini-dress + thigh high boots” look in general. I think it’s sort of charmingly retro, which seems to be la Klum’s calling card these days.

  29. Christina

    I have never noticed before that Heidi Klum has no waist! She could use a belt with this, and maybe some tights.

  30. Suzie Qzie

    The boots are good. Heidi rocks them–in agreement with “charmingly retro” comment above. Maybe a big bracelet or a belt would pull it together.

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