Fug the Waxwork: Wills and Kate, Part 2


Remember how Madame Tussauds had a really good William and Kate Waxwork? Well, apparently someone took a spin through the museum and decided, “that looks too realistic. Let’s redo it and totally screw it up.” AND ERGO BEHOLD:

The William was, as Heather said previously, “mildly wonkus” and he’s still mildly wonkus but in a different direction. Now he kind of looks like if a waxwork of Prince William were possessed by the spirit of Paul Walker (forever in our hearts). I guess he’s the same percentage of wonkus, but now they just made him look more like a bro. But they took a Kate that totally looked like Kate and unKated her. It’s like one of the bigwigs got drunk at a holiday party and was like, “youknowwhat? THIS IS TOO GOOD. Can we make this LESS SUCCESSFUL? THANKS.” First of all: Kate would never carry a clutch that large to a formal event, like, DUH, take a twirl through my archives, Madame Tussauds. But more importantly: her face now looks like a vaguely cute girl who once played a tertiary role on a now-canceled Disney Channel show. Like if Lifetime decided to remake their Wills and Kate movie but Camilla Luddington was like, “once was enough,” and this kid whizzed past the execs on a scooter as they stepped out of their meeting and they were like, “HEY COME BACK, yeah, close enough.”

In short: updated waxworks a downgrade. ZERO STARS.

[Photo: Getty]

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Comments (65):

  1.  ErinG
    +16

    Well… it still looks better than her official portrait?

    (trying to find a positive to keep from shuddering at the fact that WaxWill appears to be hissing)

  2.  Marte
    +6

    They did something very odd to both their mouths, I think. Took away Will’s “Diana-smile” and I have never seen Kate bite her lip like that.

    Shame on them. SHAME, I say!

  3.  Erykah
    +1

    There was a sequel to the Lifetime movie … I don’t think any of the original cast returned.

    •  Erykah
      +3

      I tell a lie.

      It was a RIVAL movie made by Hallmark. Egads.

      •  ErinG
        +30

        I would SO watch the made-for-tv movie chronicling the rivalry between lifetime and hallmark in their dueling royals movies…. and the romance that subsequently blossomed between two competing producers, or something. will they sacrifice their movie for the sake of true love?! maybe ABC family could make this happen??

        • Kate
          +8

          Lifetime’s Kate and Hallmark’s Wills get together, only for her to realize in the last 15 minutes that her own movie’s Harry was her soul mate all along…

      • Eli
        0

        Gawd…I miss when the actual big 3 networks produced made for TV movies and miniseries…they were SO MUCH BETTER.

    • Jessica
      +2

      There was??! What was it called? What was the plot?

      • Jessica
        +2

        OH OKAY. I was like WHAT HOW DID I MISS THIS?!

        • ceedeegee57
          0

          Wait have you Fromaged it? This must happen (if only because I have never not laughed like a madman at any of the TV/TV Movie recaps you ladies do. I Haven’t even seen the shows in question, except Candelabra which I saw because of GFY, FTF)

          • Jessica
            +1

            The link in the post to the Wills and Kate movie is to our Fromage thereof.

            • Ags
              +3

              Please please please Fug the Fromage of the Hallmark movie! I really need an excuse to watch it.

              http://hallmarkchannel.com/williamandcatherine

              • Ags
                +1

                That first sentence is totally lacking in a verb (and therefore is maybe not a sentence), but the sentiment stands.

            • Jocelyn
              0

              Some interesting info (according to wikipedia and the peerage). Alice St. Clair, the girl who played Catherine, is actually Lady Alice St. Clair-Erskine. Her Dad, the 7th Earl of Rosslyn “held the office of Master of the Household to The Prince of Wales and The Duchess of Cornwall in 2014″ http://www.thepeerage.com/p5337.htm#i53361
              I’m guessing Charles has a sense of humour about the whole thing if he hired her Dad.
              I am desperate to watch it now. Can anyone find a net link? Please pretty please fromage it!!!

        •  Ash
          +11

          Would it be too late to get a Fug the [Comparative] Fromage on the Hallmark version? If nothing else, it could be done for their 4th wedding anniversary next year – isn’t the traditional gift for that year “snarky judgement on bad biopics?”

  4.  cg
    +10

    The hairlines are off, too, although they’ve given Will’s some additional material, I believe.

  5. Sandra
    +7

    Uggh, they look dead. I hate wax-works; sooooo very creepy.

  6. Minutiae
    +7

    That looks more like a young Karen Carpenter than Kate. Which, I love me some Karen C, but…no.

    Also, that looks like a hybrid of Wills and The Joker. Also…NO.

  7. Stefanie
    +1

    Ummm. I sorta like her dress. In a “Deb” sorta way.

    • alicia
      +1

      I sorta like the dress too, but I don’t ever remember seeing her wear one like that? It’s like her issa engagement dress had a baby with some other dress I can’t identify?

      • Jessica
        +8

        OMG on Twitter, I just said, “it’s like her engagement dress had a baby with the aqua Jenny Packham.” Great minds! (This one: http://www.gofugyourself.com/well-played-kate-middleton-plus-prince-harry-05-2012)

        (That post, btw, includes Harry wearing a tux AND kissing a puppy AND a baby, which I’d forgotten.)

        • S
          0

          Well, the new waxwork does seem to have her eyebrows from the Jenny Packham dress.

        • alicia
          0

          Yes! That’s the one I was trying to come up with! Great minds indeed. I love that Jenny Packham, much better than its offspring with the Issa. Also, thank you for the link to the slideshow with Harry kissing puppies… completely killed my productivity this afternoon!!

        • alicia
          +5

          Hmm, so I see that the dress she has on IS actually a current Issa. Shouldn’t they know she can’t wear Issa anymore?!?!

  8. Stefanie
    0

    Im almost getting a Blake Lively vibe off of “Kate.” Especially when you look at the original large picture.

  9. Ryan
    +2

    Meh I think they’re pretty accurate.

  10. halley
    +5

    That clutch is WRONG. Also, what happened to her hairline/forehead/face? Wills looks like a caricature of himself.

  11. maggiecate
    +20

    These are actually waxworks of the stars of “I wanna be adopted by Will & Kate,” the even crueller sequel to “I wanna marry Harry”, where cute American orphans get sent to a British country house and have to try to convince Sir and Ma’am to adopt them. Kingsley is now Queensly, the starchy nanny with a heart of gold.

    • mirna
      +6

      That sounds so very cruel.
      But after seeing that Jimmy Kimmel video where people threw food on their dads on Father’s day, I’ve learned that people in show business don’t have anything even closely resembling a soul. So I guess that show is gonna air some time in 2017.

    •  ErinG
      +8

      STOP. I actually just snorted at my desk. I’m dying.

      Can Kingsley & Queensley have a spin-off of their own, eventually?

  12.  AJ
    +1

    Also she never wore that dress. The other one was based off a real outfit of hers. Come on!

  13. Lori
    +5

    SWEET BABY JESUS GOD NO WHY?!?!

  14.  bookworm1973
    +1

    Glad I got my pic taken w/the original lol

    •  bookworm1973
      +7

      The original waxwork couple, not the original couple themselves. Although that would be awesome…

  15. Hoolia
    0

    Wait…this is not even based on a real dress of hers and they deliberately opted to make the hem look like it was done in a big hurry by someone with a roll of Scotch tape?

  16. Hoolia
    +2

    I do really like that dress aside from the hem. She should consider getting the real non-wax version.

  17. Suzy Q
    +3

    This is 17 kinds of terrible.

  18. Remi
    +4

    I do like they kept Williams hands in a very similar akward pose. I am not sure whether this means William does not know what to do with his hands or that Madame Tussaud does not know what to do with his hands.
    I know plenty of people who have good ideas what to do with his hands is it is the latter Madame.

  19. TonyG
    +2

    The Wills wax figure here looks more like him to me in the face than Tussaud’s previous work of the couple.

    However, they totally fugged up Kate.

  20. Joanie
    +12

    This makes me want to cry. How dare they!

    Even if Kate did have a clutch that large, why would she carry it thusly? As in, why would her arm be all crazy out there in nowhereland?

    Poor Wills. His hands will never see justice done unto them, will they?

    Thank God they haven’t added Prince George. Can you even imagine?!

    • Jessica
      +12

      When they get around to a baby wax George I predict it will haunt our nightmares and ruin our collective lives.

  21.  Linda_AZ
    +7

    I don’t like waxworks at all, anyway, and these are really bad.

  22. Melissa
    +2

    I’m not 100% convinced the William one isn’t just the same one from a different angle and in different light. Which would mean they’ve changed the one thing that worked last time. I think it must be like “limited edition” burgers: they feel like they have to keep changing it up to get people coming in.

  23. annabel
    +2

    I was not aware that waxworks got “redone”. Maybe you might want to depict someone in a later period of life, but that link to Heather’s post was only two years old!! Massive FAIL.

  24.  Hermione
    0

    She looks like grown up Carly Patterson.

  25. Parachuting
    +2

    $20 says she’s wearing nude pumps….

  26. Francine
    0

    Kate’s dress is fabulous, love that color on her!
    http://fashion-soup.com/

  27. Sajorina
    0

    This is so stupid… I would never pay to see it! This is the picture next to the word “botched” in the dictionary! FUG!!!

  28. Justyna
    +10

    I believe that was their reaction: http://www.gofugyourself.com/full-size-image/1043411

  29. Cordelia
    +1

    I really don’t think these are that bad! Indeed their accuracy made me recall Hilary Mantel’s Royal Bodies speech:
    ‘Kate Middleton, as she was, appeared to have been designed by a committee and built by craftsmen, with a perfect plastic smile and the spindles of her limbs hand-turned and gloss-varnished.’

  30. Clare
    0

    Since when has Prince William been married to Cher Lloyd? I can see the headlines now…

  31. Tracy L
    0

    can someone post the link to the original wax figures? Thx

  32. Karin
    0

    William looks spliced with Val Kilmer to me. Maybe they could put him next to a wax Tom Cruise to recreate the infamous shower/ Ice Man teeth gnash scene!

  33. Izalika
    0

    His looks like an exact replica of whoever would be the star of I Wanna Marry “Wills”

  34. Bluesconian
    0

    They’re both looks brilliant. How sweet. My Daughter’s name next to Kate name.