Crack Pottery: Carol Alt


Heather and I get in a habit of nicknaming people things and just hanging on to the nickname forever. Like, remember when Eva Longoria was divorcing Tony Parker and wore black to every single awards show and we dubbed her The Widow Longoria and we still call her that even though she’s been dating Penelope Cruz’s baby brother and is presumably out of her Widow’s Weeds emotionally as well as sartorially? Anyway, somehow I got in the habit of  referring to Carol Alt as “The Noted Crackpot Carol Alt.” BECAUSE LOOK:

This is some crackpot shizz right there, you guys. WHAT IS THE SCARF FOR? Is it holding her arm on?

Will you feel better if I show you a picture of Noted Future Husband Jon Hamm looking rumpled and possibly hung-over and MAYBE with a little black eye — in other words, like Don Draper after a rough night (in other words, just how I like him)?

ENJOY.

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Comments (36):

  1. McLisa
    0

    Oh my god YES! That LOOK! It’s like I said something wrong and he’s telling me I’m a very bad bad dirty girl and now he’s going to do something about it!

  2. Alle C
    0

    Every time I see a picture of Jon Hamm, my eyes are drawn to his crotch. I can’t help it and I would never want to, because sometimes I am rewarded.

    • Stefanie
      0

      I too am drawn to his crotch, but I want to because I AM sometimes rewarded.

      • ChaChaHeels
        0

        That’s quite a Pavlovian response, since I do believe there is just one published picture of him that removed any doubt from anyone’s imagination, and that photo came out long ago, in Season 4.

  3. hillary l.
    0

    Carol’s look has a bit of a Princess Leia aesthetic. That’s about all I can say about that. The Hamm? Reruns will have to do for now…

  4. JENNY
    0

    My day just brightened up considerably, thank you!!

  5. CopyChic
    0

    It looks like she snatched that thing off a table display at Macy’s. Gah.

    • Ms. A.
      0

      I was thinkin the same thing. Only more like a display in the JC Penney misses department in the 90′s.

  6. Maisie
    0

    When you click on Jon’s (yes, we’re on a first-name basis) photo and blow up his fabulous face so that it almost fills the monitor (sigh) , you can see t hat what looks like a slight shiner is, in fact, just a bit of under-eye puffiness. (And there’s a tiny pimple on his neck! He’s human after all!!)

    But Carol . . . I dunno. Maybe she spilled coffee down the left side of her dress, and she grabbed that scarf off of some bystander to hide the stain. I’m willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. BUT BUT BUT there is NO excuse for that PURSE! Good god, did she steal it off the Queen’s arm? (Though I doubt the Queen would have such poor taste as to add those silly charms, or whatever they are, that are hanging off the handle.)

    • wildviolette
      0

      Maisie, thank you for making me feel better for also blowing up the Hamm all over my computer screen. If ever there was a reason for a huge monitor….

  7. Mongerel
    0

    As crackpottery goes, tying a wispy scarf to your arm is actually pretty appealing. Especially if there’s a little air current available to puff it around a bit…nice!

  8. Stefanie
    0

    Jon looks like he needs a nap. And Im just throwing this out there but I DID just get new bedding….

  9. Claire L1
    0

    Jon…..you were hot before I saw your goofy side….and now you’re hotter because of it….and yet….. there is that lurking under the surface bad boy that so makes me NOT the “I am woman” woman that I thought I was. I would SO meet you at the door with a scotch and a smile.

  10. HT
    0

    That picture of Jon almost made me fall out of my chair. Hot damn, glad I saved my Diet Coke for this!

  11. Crystal
    0

    Man, I was about to go crazy without a Jon Hamm post soon.

    It looks like Carol Alt was trying to pull off an ao dai, a traditional Vietnamese dress. The neck looks too small, there are no pants to go with the dress, and uh…can she take this dress back to Pottery Barn, please?

  12. ajm262
    0

    THANK YOU.
    That man…good gracious…

  13. Cranky Old Batt
    0

    I love the birdie fabric. I wish it had landed in a much better place than this.

  14. vandalfan
    0

    The least she could do would be to tie her flowing scarf around her upper arm, a la Adam Ant. This is obstructing her elbow. And yes, she stole the bag from Meemaw.

  15. Ms. Chanandler Bong
    0

    Never change The Widow Longoria because it’s totally awesome.

  16. Josie
    0

    I could do something about poor tired Jon with Carol’s scarf. Then improvements for both celebs!

  17. Dazie
    0

    Long live The Widow Longoria.

    As for Carol Alt’s dress? Not so much.

  18. Shiitake
    0

    Looks like Gramma broke out of the nursing home.

  19. Kayla
    0

    The things I would let that man do to me. The dirty, dirty things …

  20. Bevvie Hedstrom
    0

    Is Carol Alt still all raw-food crazy? Because I’m not even looking at her until I know she’s at least eating food occasionally.

  21. Kathleen
    0

    I’m sorry, I just don’t get the whole Jon Hamm thing. Especially this pic. He looks like he needs a shower, 12 hours of sleep, and a trip to rehab. Not neccessarily in that order.

  22. Bottle Ginger
    0

    I had that dress back in the nineties! Did she get it from a thrift shop or something?

  23. Mahastee
    0

    Well the sparrow print is quite charming, but the execution is off. Losing the scarf and the skivvy neck would be a start.

    Am I the only one here who doesn’t get the appeal of Hamm? He looks exactly like The Most Beautiful Man In The World, and I don’t mean Jensen Ackles. I mean Fabio. He looks like Fabio! Even after a Mad Men marathon my ovaries remain unmoved. Oh well. More for you all.

    • Sajorina
      0

      Mmmmmmm, Jensen Ackles… What?!

    • ChaChaHeels
      0

      You’re right about the Fabio resemblance (but not about the whole “most beautiful man in the world” business). It’s like Jon Hamm is Dark Fabio.

  24. Mary Urech Stallings
    0

    I think the scarf tied to her arm is some kind of symbolic high five to Robin Roberts and bone marrow transplants in general. I think she looks good except for the Queen Elizabeth handbag she’s toting.