Fugger: Nicole Kidman

Fug the Cover: Nicole Kidman on Elle, January 2015


I like you, Elle. You’re a good magazine. Which is why it pains me to tell you this: Today you are a COVER of LIES:

ELLE-January-2015-Nicole-Kidman-Cover-Calvin-KIein

Nicole is NOT rocking those Dior shorts. And you should NOT try to rock them yourselves. They are hideous. Her abdomen looks like a Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket of yore, and the only rocking of them that ought to be done is burying them under one.

She also has treadmill hair. It’s crispy there, and it’s crispy here:

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Fug or Fab: Nicole Kidman in Vera Wang


I can’t decide if this is drab or dreamy.

[Photos: AKM/GSI]

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Fug or Fab: Nicole Kidman in Prada


If this comes in a full-length version, easy money’s on seeing it float past on Reign at some point:

Agon Channel Launch Party

I don’t hate it, but there’s something about this that doesn’t feel like it ought to be a dress. It could be the inside of a very fancy jewelry box, or some extremely lush wrapping paper, or the background of holiday-themed expensive chocolate ad, but it doesn’t seem entirely wearable in a literal sense. (Maybe the cummerbund just reminds me of ribbons?) On the other hand, is it so terrible to be wearing an expensive chocolate ad? You would be delicious!

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[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Fug or Fab: Nicole Kidman in Prada


Those of you who are invested in the Nicole Kidman/Keith Urban relationship (as well as those of you who enjoy People Holding Umbrellas For/With Loved Ones) are going to enjoy this. Regardless of how you feel about her dress.

But speaking of her dress:

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[Photos: AKM/GSI]

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Fugs and Fabs: The Louis Vuitton Monogram Celebration at MoMA


I like having Nicole Kidman out and about again. She has a boatload of projects in the next year, too, so hopefully it will be a more frequent occurrence, because girlfriend has some deliciously inconsistent taste.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet, Splash]

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CMA Awards Fug Carpet: Nicole Kidman in Cavalli


This is, in many ways, the polar opposite of the dress Nicole wore to the BMI Awards earlier this week.  Including the fact that she well Nips Ahoy this time, instead of Delicate Inner Thigh Shenanigans. At least it’s not been both?

[Photos: Splash]

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