Fugger: Mia Wasikowska

Cannes Better Played, Mia Wasikowska

We get on Mia a lot for looking, well, depressing. This dress looks like if a five-year old was asked to draw “cheerful” with a jumbo pack of Crayola. Which isn’t actually a bad thing; I mean, come on, wouldn’t that look fancy tacked to your fridge with an old magnet from that time your co-worker went to Helsinki and brought everyone souvenirs from the airport gift shop?

[Photos: Getty, WENN]


Met Ball SIGH Carpet: Mia Wasikowska

I give up with this one.

If you actually want to look like someone’s governess all the time, there’s really nothing I can do about it.


Oscars Fug or Fab: Mia Wasikowska

Well, at least she’s going someplace interesting, as opposed to someplace adjacent to Migraine City (which isn’t on Google Maps — you can get there by banging the heel of your hand against your face a hundred times and then giving up and face-planting onto your keyboard).

The detail is a tiny bit like Personal Grooming Gone Awry, but I have to say, the whole effect is funky, like she’s standing next to Jessica Rabbit and catching her shadow. Also, I love that she wore gunmetal. However: Do we really think this needed the hip napkin? There’s plenty going on here without it. Like when a really hot man grows a mustache. Let’s say Pacey, or Jon Hamm, or Ian Somerholder, or WHOEVER, grew a full Magnum P.I. Would that really be HELPING, or is it just getting in the way of our ogling?

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Mia Fugsikowska

When a friend of mine promised to bring wine over for the Super Bowl, I cautioned him to do the classy thing and ensure it was an open bottle poking out of a crinkled brown paper bag.

I think Mia gave her stylist a similar edict.

[Photo: Getty]


Fug or Fab: Mia Wasikowska

Mia she accidentally fell off our radar in the past month or so. These things happen. Usually, it’s because we feel like it’s the eighth verse, same as the first, and we’re tired of singing that song and we suspect you’re tired of hearing it. In this case, the song is, “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go So We Can Tell You To Take Off Those Shoes and Maybe Wear A Less Askew Outfit, Yo.” Let’s see if our tune has changed.

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[Photos: Getty]


Fug Eyre

Oh man, Mia Wasikoska:

She’s an excellent actress, and I love that she doesn’t look like every Tan, Extension-ed, Bandaged-Dressed starlet in town. That being said, there is a ton of acreage between Tarty Starlet (Tarlet?) and BLAND BLAH BLAH BLAND from the neck up and Holiday Wine Bag from the neck down, and I just want to KIDNAP HER and do something about it. She is talented; she is lovely; SHE CAN LOOK BETTER than she usually does. Will no one give her highlights? In this whole wide world full of agents and managers and editors and stylists and hair and makeup experts, has no one told her that she need not be mousy? And could also wear things that fit, you know, if she wants to? YOU COULD EVEN GO BACK TO THIS HAIR, GIRL. SERIOUSLY. IT’S BETTER. Just…be more fabulous, is all I ask. JUST BE MORE FABULOUS.