I mean, Kristen Stewart didn’t so much STEAL the thunder as flagrantly take it without paying and then slap everyone in the face with it. But there’s still plenty to ogle, beginning with Mr. Leto, because that’s the way he’d like it.
SO many people came to this thing, in part, I am sure, because no one wants to say, “meh, cancer, whatever” when you get invited to a charity event devoted to curing it. An excellent cause indeed. And don’t worry, Diane Kruger and Pacey get their own post all to themselves, up next. We have to discuss them separately, because I have THEORIES. I also have a theory about the people here as well, actually and that theory is that some of their stylists have mentally checked out post-Grammys/pre-Oscars. In other words: NO ONE IS SAFE RIGHT NOW.
[Insert thoughtful preamble on Lily Collins here, perhaps something to do with her great eyebrows, but maybe not anything to do with Phil, because nobody wants "Another Day In Paradise" kicking around in their heads for the rest of the day, and oh, damn, there it goes, too late now.]
[Insert crack about the dress looking like a fishnet stocking at a House of Ill Repute, or dying window-basket outside the lead-paned window of an abandoned home.] [Add concern about whether it's lined up top.] [Do not suggest impromptu Tic Tac Toe game.] [Bring Phil into it again because really that's all we know.][Express concern about whether she's exhausted from all this movie pimpage.][Suggest said exhaustion may have led to next picture.]