Okay, the “Time100 Next List” is absolutely a real thing — and everyone gave lovely speeches (even Machine Gun Kelly’s is basically about how he secretly loves reading) —  but I swear to god, if I were an energetic scammer, I would absolutely just make up a function and tell celebrities that it’s celebrating their beautiful potentials and I feel like it would work. People would come. There are so many things happening with vague names. I’d call mine the Millenium25 Lineup, and the scam part is where I’d tell them that the function is in aid of The Human Fund, and The Human Fund would be me.

[Photos: Evan Agostini/Invision/AP/Shutterstock, Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for TIME, Craig Barritt/Getty Images for TIME]