Fugger: Kristen Stewart

Fug or Fab the Cover: Kristen Stewart, Elle Magazine, September 2014


There are probably ten or twenty possibly symbolic interpretations for the chains around Kristen’s neck here, but I like to think — since they are Chanel padlocks — that it symbolizes that she feels stuck with that Chanel campaign and plans to make the most of it by wearing the WEIRDEST that she can find. Let’s hope.

[Photos: Elle]

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What the Fug: Kristen Stewart in Chanel, Part 2


You saw what she wore to arrive at the Chanel show today, but have you seen what she wore to leave? (Do not ask me why she’s changing clothes to leave a venue: I can only assume she wanted to be wearing this and not her mesh harem pants when she arrived at her next event, which is, actually, totally fair.)

That hat and the glasses are so Madonna Circa 1986 that I can’t even be that mad. Well, I’m mad at the pants — I swear to you those too once lived on a sale rack at Contempo Casuals, way Back in the Day, and I was mad at them then, too — but her head feels too Desperately Seeking Susan for real rage.

[Photo: AKM/GSI]

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What the Fug: Kristen Stewart in Chanel


You’ve done it again, Kristen and Karl. You are a dynamically, dismally deranged duo. Although, I must be honest: I get a tremendous kick out of this asshattery, more than I do the continued Diormat Jennifer Lawrence, because I feel that Kristen Stewart knows exactly what she’s doing and how people are going to react to it, and is enjoying it tremendously.

[Photos: Splash]

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Cannes Fugs and Fabs: Kristen Stewart and Chloe Grace Moretz in Chanel, plus Juliette Binoche


Cannes is like, “Kim WHOdashian? We’re busy with real things.”

[Photos: Getty]

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Met Gala Unfug It Up Carpet: Kristen Stewart in Chanel


I am enjoying the red hair on her for now:

Heather and I had a conversation yesterday wherein we decided that if you could just shave off the shower curtain from the bottom of this thing, and then beam her into the MTV Movie Awards, we’d been in business.

Let’s take a look at the back before we really get into this:

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Well Played The Cover: Kristen Stewart on Marie Claire, March 2014


I think this cover is pretty compelling, and not just because whatever she’s wearing seems like it might be AMAZING:

Her hair is distractingly great here — whether or not it’s technically Bombshell Bedhead Hair, I guess I shall have to read the magazine to find out.  And while this expression is one that could easily slide into Totally Stoned, I think she’s managing to stop it right at the line of Smoldering and Sultry, which is not such an easy trick. Speaking of stoned, though, I would love to know if they intentionally treated the font on “Why Women Are High On a Trippy New Drug” so that it makes me feel like I’m high every time I try to read it. I hope so, or else the answer is just, “you’re not high, but you are OLD.”  And I already knew that.

[Photo: Tesh/Marie Claire]

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